I'm drinking some tea as I write this and it's pretty good for having expired back in 2019. Kinda poetic.
EP 1: The Beginning Of The End Part 1
Rating: 5 4 5
The ponies are summoned to Canterlot so Celestia and Luna can tell them they're retiring and Twilight's the next ruler. Luna also states Equestria has been enjoying its longest period of harmony in recent years which is a damn lie. Unless Equestria has been dealing with Tirek-level threats and constant attacks from foreign armies before the start of the show, this has not been the longest period of harmony in recent years. Rainbow Dash then states she wants Luna's dreamwalking ability. Rarity mentions "doublings" which is the first word I had to look up this season. After Twilight asks about training for this new role, Celestia states how everything Twilight has gone through has essentially been her training, putting a lot of stuff into perspective.
During the boring and predictable crap about Twilight panicking over her soon-to-be new responsibilities, Rainbow Dash calls out how Celestia and Luna pretty much never help with anything. Meanwhile, Chrissy's schizing the fuck out and by Mox, is she fucking adorable! I love this cute little bug-pony.
Then Chrissy just vanishes, we see Tirek and Cozy Glow are prison pals and they also vanish, and then we see the king of cuckoldry himself, Sombra be summoned somewhere. Chrissy, Tirek, and Cozy appear in the same room with each other and Chrissy thinks they summoned her so she lights up her horn in intimidation which scares Cozy and it's so cute how she yells and jumps behind Tirek to hide.
After Sombore appears, some dude named Grogar appears and reveals he's the one who summoned them. After Grogar restores some of Tirek's powers, Tirek states how before Equestria was founded, the land was just a collection of farms and pastures. Anyways, they, except Cozy, had heard of Grogar but always thought he was just a tale, Tirek explaining he had heard tales of Grogar's tyranny when he was young. Sombra mentions hearing about Grogar being the first "emperor of Equestria". Chrissy mentions someone named Gusty the Great banishing him and Grogar mentions some bell which will be relevant later.
Chrissy looks so adorable here.
After Grogar's exposition, he asks them why they were defeated and Cozy says she's just a kid which is further evidence she's truly a child. Grogar tells them they lost because the ponies were teamed up while they weren't so Grogar tells them to join him so they can increase their chances of taking over Equestria. Sombra declines the offer and boasts he can take back the Crystal Empire by himself so Grogar sends him there.
Back at the boring pony crap, Starlight mentions it's summer, once again proving my timeframe theory right. Twilight leaves the school to Starlight and she panics, making Twilight have to reassure her but it turns out she was just tricking Twilight into giving herself her own advice. Twilight also refers to Equestria as a country again.
Sombra appears in the Crystal Empire and because the crystal ponies, like regular ponies, are incompetent and unprepared for any conflict whatsoever, Sombra manages to brainwash a few and breaches the castle, also capturing the little shit. Even though Sombra is only telekinetically holding Flurry Heart, Shining and Cadance don't attack. The worse that would happen if they attacked him is he drops Flurry Heart but she can fly anyways. If they just attacked him, he'd be too distracted to harm Flurry Heart and she could run away, assuming she's not a complete autist by flying to Cadance and getting caught in the crossfire. Hell, Flurry Heart herself probably has enough raw power to at least hurt Sombra if she wanted. Shining and Cadance surrender like cowards.
Back in Ponyville, Discord gives Twilight the message and she asks him to deal with the shit but he refuses, telling her she needs to learn how to handle crap on her own.
Herobrine sighting #66
The ponies get the Elements and go to confront Sombra. There, he puts them all into a psychological hell and Sombra begins yapping only for Twilight to reveal they only succumbed to the effect to keep him distracted while Spike freed Cadance and Shining. The Mane 6 then kill Sombra. They return to the Tree where it turns out Sombra isn't dead and he just straight up destroys the Tree and the Elements. I also need to mention the second half of this episode is paced way too fast.
Herobrine sighting #67, #68, #69, #70, #71, #72
EP 2: The Beginning Of The End Part 2
Rating: 5 4 5
Sombra traps them and you may be think Twilight could just teleport them out but remember back in the season 3 premiere, Twilight got trapped and teleportation didn't work. Anyways they start digging to escape. They find the Ponyvillians brainwashed and the Everfree is infesting the place again so instead of you know, going to confront Sombra who's invading Canterlot, they fight the Everfree instead. It's then stated they've been fighting the Everfree for hours. If I had to choose between killing a dictator or stopping where I live from getting bombed after everyone's been imprisoned elsewhere, I'm killing the dictator. Just saying.
Anyways, Celestia, Luna, and the Pillars arrive to deal with the Everfree. Starswirl also states the Pillars kept the Everfree under control before the Tree existed. This makes me wonder what importance this region had back then that they'd put in the effort to do this. I know there's the Castle of the Two Sisters but surely they wouldn't waste so much effort just to build a castle in the middle of nowhere. There had to be some significance to the Everfree back then.
With the Everfree being dealt with, Twilight teleports everyone to the Canterlot castle's front gate where they're attacked by the brainwashed ponies. After defending themselves, the brainwashed ponies overwhelm them so Twilight teleports them inside the castle. Why the fuck didn't she just do this in the first place?
They confront Sombra with Discord who casually deflects Sombra's attacks because Sombra fucking sucks. Then Discord gets hit and dies. Then as always, the ponies power up and Twilight gives some speech about friendship or something. There's also an animation error during this: Twilight's pink and purple stripes in her lower mane disappear for a few frames. This occurs twice so it must be an error with the animation cycle. They use their friendship laser beam crap and actually kill Sombra this time and yes, he is actually dead now.
Herobrine sighting #73, #74, #75, #76, #77, #78
Then it turns out Discord was just trolling and he's fine. Like a cuck such as Sombra can hurt him. Twilight's coronation to become princess is delayed. Meanwhile Cozy Glow has herself, Tirek, and Chrissy do friendship exercises.
Pretty engaging to the point it gets 5 EV. 4 VB for Twilight coming to the realization she's capable of the responsibility to be ruler. 5 DV for learning Twilight will be the princess of Equestria, the villains coming together, and Grogar's backstory whether or not it's real.
EP 3: Uprooted
Rating: 4 4 4
The Student 6 are in a collective dream and we learn more about their dreams and insecurities. After it's revealed Sandbar's biggest fear is choosing between ice cream flavors, sparkly Twilight appears to tell them the Tree of Harmony needs them. After this, Twilight's panicking about highlighters which reminds me: I've actually thought about making a version of the Mox Coms where different parts like jokes, analyses, theories, boring-ass episode descriptions, and crap are color-coded so people can skip to the stuff they actually like in case they don't like certain parts of these. But I don't know how I would automate or semi-automate any changes made between versions if I did this. Even so, these are written in a way you can just skip to the next paragraph if you don't like something. Hell, I doubt anyone even reads these anyways so I'd likely just be wasting time and effort.
The Student 6 show up at the school where Twilight states it's still break. The students tell Twilight they're there because the Tree called them and Gallus states how they "have a special connection with it after last year". He has to mean last school year since What Lies Beneath takes place the same calendar year as this episode according to my timeframe theory. Twilight tells them the Tree and Elements are gone and Spike says "Sombra won't be coming back". Yeah, he's definitely dead.
They go to the Tree's ruins where Silverstream gets the idea to close their eyes and wish the Tree back to life. This is not the early 2010s; I will not make a joke about religion. After this obviously doesn't work, they decide to honor the Tree and make a memorial. Then there's one of those boring sequences of the Student 6 getting permission slips signed so they can stay in Ponyville to work on the Tree. During Smolder's, she reveals she's running a Strength build by beating all the bigger dragons at arm wrestling. Speaking of which, here's a master tip for Fallout games: Strength is the most overrated SPECIAL stat and unless you're running a melee or big guns build, set it to 3. You really don't need it. You may be thinking 'What about inventory weight?' but if you have an IQ above 90, you should be intelligent enough that inventory management isn't an issue even with low Strength. Just drink alcohol or take Buffout if you need the extra space to quick travel after looting.
When they return, Sandbar states he's gotten a head start working on the Tree and when they ask him where it is, he nonchalantly states "I got rid of it." which makes everyone panic. This was really funny the first time watching. Everyone has different ideas to honor the Tree and they all argue over whose thing is better. Sparing the word count, everyone ruins each other's memorials and they then realize they should come together and use the Tree's ruins to build a treehouse. I once met a complete drunkard who built a treehouse just for the hell of it. It was decent. Also shot guns for the first time on his property. There's a song that's fine. Then their shitty treehouse transforms into a treemansion because their coming together and friendship and crap and sparkly Twilight congratulates them.
Entertaining enough and has some funny moments which gives it 4 EV. 4 VB for the Student 6 coming together to honor the Tree and its importance. 4 DV because the Tree has evolved.
EP 4: Sparkle's Seven
Rating: 4 4 4
Why is this episode 199 and not 200? Also, the dumbass children who write the Fandom Wiki skipped episode 196 which is probably why so many people think this is the 200th episode when it's not. Been like this for the past six years. Check yourself.
So Twilight and Shining Armor used to do this really gay and stupid "Sibling Supreme" thing where they played good boy or girl to win some stupid crown thing. Twilight and Spike are called to Canterlot where they find Shining has been Sibling Supreme ever since they grew out of their gay little games. Shining challenges Twilight to break into the castle to test its security and if she can successfully break inside, she'll become the permanent Sibling Supreme. As Shining's explaining the security enhancements, he states one of them being the shards of Chrissy's old magic-blocking throne. Seeing as the VAs wrote this episode, I wonder if any of the other writers that replaced the old ones would've ever come up with something to do with Chrissy's throne shards. Despite the VAs probably not being writers, their being with the show this whole time actually gives them somewhat of an advantage over the other writers.
Twilight makes a plan but Shining predicts everything so she has the others plan the heist. It was also around this point I really noticed how the animators went way too hard on the mushy pony faces this season. You think season 5-8 were bad? This season is probably three times as worse when it comes to that. I used to like the mushy overly expressive pony faces back then but watching the show again, I realize yeah, I don't like it. During planning, Applejack tells of her musician persona named Apple Core she had as a filly and how she became popular but gave it up to be with her family. Rainbow Dash asks if Applejack made the story up to which Applejack just responds with a look of panic. I'm going to lean towards it being real because in the memories, she plays guitar and checking The Mane Attraction, she did indeed play guitar as a filly.
They start the heist but right as it starts, Applejack clips into blue hell and the others drive off without her. As Applejack's about to finally catch up with the rest of the crew after her Y-position is reset, Fluttershy has a connection issue and leaves the game, failing the heist. They restart and successfully arrive at the castle but Rarity keeps alerting the guards so they have to keep EWOing to restart with uncompromised cover. After the sixth restart, they finally get to the next checkpoint but Rainbow Dash keeps dying until after another four restarts, they get to the next checkpoint. As they're about to complete the heist, Pinkie gets a wanted level and everyone has to wait five minutes for her to lose it. After she finally does and is about to reach the destination and finish the heist, Fluttershy has another connection issue and leaves the game, kicking everyone out and they fail the heist.
Eventually they break into the throne room only for Twilight to lose but it's revealed Spike got the crown because he and Luna colluded because they were tired of being ignored. At the end, Spike gets the title of Sibling Supreme and they call him their brother, finally solving what he is to them.
Amusing enough with some funny stuff so it gets 4 EV. I remember this episode being better back when I saw it as it aired. 4 VB for showing people you ignore may pull some bullshit behind your back and how your greatest allies may actually be your biggest weakness. 4 DV because we learn maybe more of Applejack's past if her story was real and we finally get a definitive answer as to how Twilight and Shining view Spike.
EP 5: The Point Of No Return
Rating: 3 4 4
Derpy crashes into a pole and dies.
After resurrecting, she speaks and I just really love her voice. I'd love to fall asleep to Derpy narrating video essays or commentating on gameplay. Anyways Celestia gave Twilight a box of her shit from her old castle dorm. Twilight says "impediments" at a point which I also had to look up the meaning of. She then finds a library book that turns out to be overdue so she panics.
We then get a flashback where we learn Twilight has a perfect book return record or something. When I was in primary school around whatever your shit stain of the world calls schooling for 10-year-olds, one of the school librarians would always hound me to return a book I never fucking checked out. Week after week, this bitch would constantly remind me I had to return this stupid fucking book I had never even heard of. One time I got really fucking tired of her shit and told her I wasn't going to return the stupid fucking book.
Twilight and Spike go to Canterlot to return the book but Twilight's an insecure little shit about her perfect record so she hides in a bush. Twilight's library card:
Twilight enters the library to meet some librarian named Dusty Pages but learns she hasn't worked there in a long-ass time and is sent to the basement to return the book since it's so overdue. I remember being in a library's basement as a young child. I think there were pretty much just VHS tapes nobody wanted. Might be a false memory; I don't know. The worker in the basement is gone so they go looking for her and find her at the restaurant from Spice Up Your Life where Spike becomes a victim of a microaggression and Twilight comes across Moondancer who's no longer a suicidal NEET and is meeting her friend who's the pony Twilight's looking for.
Recovery.
The librarian pony explains how Dusty left her job after someone ruined her record of perfect book returns or something. Why the hell would that matter at all? It's completely out of someone's control whether some schmuck returns a book on time and it's such an inconsequential thing anyways. They set off to find Dusty Pages or whatever but look at this screenshot. After this episode aired, this was the part I remember taking a screenshot of and posted, asking what the cream pony's name was because I had never learned her name despite finding her so beautiful. Being an absolute nobody, I expected no one to answer me but to my surprise, some kid commented what her name was and when I looked it up on Derpibooru, they were correct. Then I forgot it.
After a boring sequence, they find out Dusty lives in some old head home but they still can't find her and we get another boring sequence. They finally find Dusty but she doesn't want to return to the library. Later, she explains she's glad Twilight messed up her perfect record because it liberated her from worrying about perfection and she quit to escape from the mental prison that was the library.
Gets boring at parts so 3 EV. 4 VB for the message of not worrying about perfection. 4 DV for callbacks, getting a Moondancer update, and seeing a new location.
EP 6: Common Ground
Rating: 4 3 4
There's some exposition about buck ball becoming popular but more importantly, Derpy.
Fluttershy's surprised Appleloosa was able to build a buck ball museum even though we already know their entire town was built in a very short span of time. Ponies then want Snails' autograph since he's one of the buck ball champions so Snips devises a plan to sell them. So it's okay when they make money selling useless crap but god forbid the Flim Flam brothers do. I won't charge for autographs though, I'll just make fun of you after.
Rainbow Dash then comes across Quibble who now has a girlfriend who has a daughter named Wind Spirit who thinks he's a lame-ass motherfucker. Since he doesn't know jack shit about buck ball while Wind Spirit's a complete buck ball sperg, he gets Rainbow Dash to try to convince her he isn't a complete square. After Quibble tries giving the unappreciative little shit a stat book she makes clear she doesn't give a shit about, Rainbow Dash tries training him to be more athletic and sets up a meeting with the players which fails even after they try talking him up when Wind Spirit tells him knowing sports ponies isn't the same as being one. You know, Wind Spirit, you don't need to be a sports pony to choke-slam a little shit into the pavement. After this fails, they have Quibble and Wind Spirit play against Ponyville's team where he scores for the other team. However, because he read the stats book which also has all the rules and crap, he found a technicality that states it doesn't matter which basket he scores in. This tells us he's probably a lawyer. Or he's a just a massive fucking sperg. Not much difference.
The little shit continues to be a little shit and Quibble has Wind Spirit sperg out to him about buck ball while he goes on about stats and probabilities, predicting what happens in the game which impresses her. She finally stops being a little shit. Since it's good a time as any, I need to mention how I believe being a sports fan is emotional cuckery. You're obsessing over and getting emotionally affected by shit you have absolutely no control over and is of no consequence whatsoever. Getting unironically upset over your favorite team losing and consooming product just to state "I like [insert team]." just seems so utterly fucking cucked.
Amusing enough for 4 EV. Not really any vibe so 3 VB. 4 DV because we see Quibble has a girlfriend now and how buck ball has become more popular.
EP 7: She's All Yak
Rating: 4 3 3
Twilight announces some school dance called the Amity Ball. Yet another word I had to look up. I'm getting real tired of this season's wordcel shit. Anyways, Sandbar asks Yona to the thing and the dumb cunt Rarity crashes into her with holy shit, it's the dresses! Yona is the biggest creature at the school, how the fuck did Rarity not see her?
I don't know why I'm so obsessed with spotting the dresses.
Yona goes to Rarity to get a pony dress but she makes Yona speak in a "proper" Equestrian accent before helping her. Then a Rarity song of her bastardizing Yona's cultural style. It's fine. Also Yona pony.
Rarity then takes Yona to Flutters and Rainbow Dash to practice dancing. She fails at Fluttershy's dance and Angel default dances on her. I am not joking. Yona destroys the place practicing Rainbow Dash's. Next they go to Sweet Apple Acres where Applejack throws out Yona's cultural cuisine so she can make food they like. Their bastardization of her succeeds so they go to the dance.
There, Sandbar hates the new Yona because like any sane person, he hates it when people are insecure, disingenuous shits just to impress the person they like. Here's some life advice: If someone doesn't like you when you're mask-off, they aren't for you. In fact, whether friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, you should test people's responses to shit you say and do. I will usually say fucked up and offensive things just to test people's responses. If they get offended, I know not to waste my time with them but if they aren't, they will likely be more tolerant of me.
Yona ends up destroying the place because of all the pony shit so she runs off and Sandbar has to mansplain to get her to return by telling her he doesn't care she's not pony-like. They win some prize thing since they set an example in friendship or something.
Since it's good a time as any to mention it, I've been to two dances in my life. The first one, I just watched some kids play Magic: The Gathering almost the whole time and the second one is the one I rejected six girls at. In fact I remember wishing someone would ask me out at the first one and decided if I was asked to dance, I would. The second one was a week later where my wish was granted sixfold and I said no.
Yona hijinx worth 4 EV. 3 VB because no vibe and this is just another Discordant Harmony. Not really any actual development so 3 DV.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-4 Published 2025-6-1