EP 8: Frenemies
Rating: 6 4 4
Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Chrissy are all whining to Grogar about each other like a bunch of children so he fucks off to not have to deal with their shit. Cozy schedules a team meeting for them. She gets Tirek to join by threatening to give positive encouragement to him if he doesn't join. Going to Chrissy, Cozy finds her schizing out again and convinces her to join by offering cupcakes.
During their friendship meeting, we get a song that's pretty good. There's a part where Tirek is supposed to catch Chrissy in a trust fall but he just lets her drop and only as I'm writing this, did I notice how utterly fucking hilarious this is. Chrissy then throws Tirek down the stairs like an unwanted toddler.
Grogar returns to send them on a mission to find his magical bell and tells of how Gusty the Great hid it away on a mountain. At the base of the mountain, Tirek and Chrissy go against Cozy's wishes of working together and fuck off to do the journey solo. Cozy comes across a pony living on the mountain and tries to manipulate him into helping her get to the top but he refuses, pissing her off so she tries getting there herself only to keep failing as she gets more frustrated.
She's not happy.
After failing over and over again, Cozy throws a tantrum at the pony which causes an avalanche to come down and take her away screaming. This part was so fucking funny. I had to repeat it over and over again. The way Cozy keeps failing, loses her shit, gets swept away, and screams is just comedically perfect.
After her failure, Cozy comes across Tirek who's just been camping this entire time. After laughing at her, he explains how he figured to let the women face the danger and then use what he learns from them to his advantage. Tirekpilled. They then argue over how Cozy snores and Tirek mumbles about his Gram Gram in his sleep to which Tirek threatens Cozy not to bring Gram Gram into the argument and this was also utterly fucking hilarious. Chrissy arrives to save them from a monster attack. They reminisce on their villainous exploits and decide to team up to get the bell.
Damn, this goes hard.
Despite their traveling up the mountain technically being one of the sequences I normally hate, this is a rare case where I think it's actually good. The context of their deciding to team up followed by their determination as they travel and cool visuals with the music that isn't a generic instrumental from an early season makes this dialogueless sequence actually good. They arrive at the peak where the bell is but it's guarded by a magical barrier. Cozy tells Tirek to absorb Chrissy's power so he can hold the barrier open while she flies in to get the bell. This succeeds and Tirek returns Chrissy's power and they all realize working together is better than working alone. They decide to undermine Grogar and keep the bell.
Fucking hilarious episode truly worth the esteemed 6 EV. 4 VB because I like the villains and their realizing working together will accomplish their goals is sort of representative of the magic of friendship. I will get to this point later. 4 DV for the new location and how the villains are progressing.
EP 9: Sweet And Smoky
Rating: 4 5 4
Smolder requests a week off from school and Twilight mentions it being the middle of the semester. Smolder explains she wants to help her brother who's having a rough time without her and mentions it's also hatching season so Twilight sends her with Spike and Flutters so Flutters can write a report about it.
They arrive at the Dragonlands and Spike begins knitting a comfort blanket for Smolder's brother. Real blanky hours. Fluttershy finds the eggs and Ember finds her and explains how the eggs should've hatched by now. Meanwhile Garble and his friends find Spike and bully him and his blanky. Smolder shows up and reveals Garble's her brother. After Garble's friends make fun of him and Smolder tells them gaining up on someone isn't cool, they tell her the pony school made her soft, prompting her to threaten them which terrifies them. Clearly this cute little dragon belongs in the 'would kick my ass' side of the chart.
Smolder makes Garble hang out with her and Spike so the other dragons laugh at him and leave. They go lava swimming, cupcake eating, and have a friendship circle. Eventually, Fluttershy comes by to Garble and his friends bullying Spike and she womansplains how Spike came here to help cheer up Garble and his friends laugh at him. Spike and Flutters switch places and he discovers the hatching grounds aren't hot and Ember explains how there's supposed to be a lava lake underneath
Meanwhile Flutters comes across Garble doing poetry with Smolder. Spike and Ember discover the teen dragons have been draining the underground lava lake for their own use so she loses her shit on them. Meanwhile further, Garble explains how he's insecure about his friends finding out he likes poetry and can only perform in front of Smolder. I remember I once had to do poetry shit in English and once wrote a poem my teacher deemed really good I think so I recited it in a Kamcord video and I got a comment also telling me it was good. Then I deleted the video out of embarrassment and I forgot it but the first three lines. All the other poem shit I didn't do the assignments for.
Anyways, Garble admits to Flutters and Smolder he's been bullying Spike so the others won't bully him and Fluttershy womansplains to him on why he's a coward and Spike is a much more courageous dragon. She's right. Spike did save the Crystal Empire I think three times by now and decreased racial tensions with changelings. For being a puny little dragon, he's been kinda vital to Equestria's safety and advancement. Anyways they go to the eggs where everyone's trying to use their fire breath to replace the lava and after they laugh at Spike which causes them to breath laugh fire which is hotter, Garble gets the idea to do his poetry in front of them so they'll laugh at him and their laugh fire will heat the eggs.
Garble dab.
This works and everyone wants to learn poetry from him. The end.
Has enough entertainment value from garble hijinx to get it 4 EV. 5 VB for the message of not being an insecure little shit just because people will laugh at you over shit you like. 4 DV because we learn Garble and Smolder are siblings and we learn more about Garble.
EP 10: Going To Seed
Rating: 4 3 3
What the fuck does confluence mean!? Anyways, the Apple family is having pancakes for breakfast which reminds me: Since writing about dipping pancakes in coffee, I have discovered yet another great thing to do with pancakes. As you're cooking them, dip the done ones in the batter and eat them. It's really fucking good. Still not as good as dipping them in coffee though.
Applejack tells the family they have to harvest all the apples for the confluence and Granny tells her she got some help who turns out to be Goldie Delicious. Goldie arrives and tells the tale of the Great Seedling who's some magical creature that guarantees a good harvest or something and how ponies would try to catch them. Anyways, Applejack says Apple Bloom used to try to lay traps to catch the thing but has surely outgrown it only to find Apple Bloom kitted out and ready to catch it.
Applejack tries to ruin her whimsy but it doesn't work so she and Big Mac get to work while Apple Bloom fucks around trying to catch the Great Seedling and Granny and Goldie are useless because they keep yapping with each other. Big Mac who's exhausted has to redo the harvest schedule to give himself and Applejack more work. The next morning they find a crop circle of apples so Apple Bloom loses her fucking shit. Applejack suspects Goldie of doing a little trolling. She then tells Apple Bloom the shit's not real but nothing can ruin the whimsy of childhood. Except a high intelligence and low sociability. That's pretty much guaranteed to kill it.
Applejack makes deal to help with Apple Bloom's traps if she finally helps with the harvest and the next day, every single trap's been sprung and there are now multiple crop circles. Applejack now believes the Great Seedling is real so she goes to help Apple Bloom, leaving a still exhausted Big Mac to now do all the work.
That night, Applejack and Apple Bloom are in a guardpost looking out for the thing and are later woken up and find the Great Seedling who seems to attack them. Only it turns out to actually be a sleepwalking Big Mac. They think the mystery's solved but they find the exact same signs on the nextdoor carrot farm. Speaking of sleepwalking, one time someone sleeptexted me. They went on telling me not to trust the dogs and how "they don't know we know". I even asked if they were drunk or high or something and they said no to all my questions as I was talking to them. Later when they woke up, they sent me an explanation and apparently while they sleepwalked, they told their family member the exact same things they texted me.
Pretty goofy episode and even has bunch of visual gags with Goldie's cats so it gets 4 EV. No vibe, 3 VB. No real development so 3 DV.
EP 11: Student Counsel
Rating: 4 3 3
Trixie made a picnic for herself and Starlight but before they can have it, Starlight is notified of something and teleports away, leaving Trixie at the picnic to drink tea alone. This happens repeatedly and Trixie gets fucking pissed. Basically, Glimmy has a bracelet that notifies her when a student knocks on her door so she can teleport there to talk to them.
Later at Glimmy's office, Silverstream is yapping about vocabulary like the wordcel she is and before the next student can come in, Trixie rushes forward to confront Glimmy and closes the door on the student. Guess that loser will just have to go talk to someone else about his suicidal ideation. Trixie wants Glimmy to do some shit with her and Starlight mentions spring break being soon and how the others went to Canterlot to celebrate the spring "solstice". Don't you fucking mean equinox? Great, now this show has me being the wordcel. The suicidal student tries entering again only for Trixie to close the door on him and then intimidate him for trying to get the help he desperately needs.
After this, Glimmy and Trixie are running errands for some spring "solstice" party but Starlight yet again has to fuck off to deal with her students. Meanwhile, Trixie's trying to buy flowers and Starlight teleports right in front of her, startling her and sending her flying backwards and screaming. This was really fucking funny. Starlight fucks off while Trixie does everything herself awhile longer and at a point we see Ocellus is having identity issues like the libtard changeling she is. Want a cure to any identity issues you may have? Just become a nihilist. I'm A Brony Because Nihilism is a great article discussing identity and nihilism.
After this, Glimmy goes to help bake an "equinox" cake at Sugarcube Corner. WHICH FUCKING IS IT!? Anyways, Mrs. Cake tells her Trixie already did the shit. She's called back to her office only to find Trixie there sitting in the dark.
This is how I look writing these half the time.
Later, they're at the equinox party thing and Trixie almost beats the shit out of Sunburst and Mudbriar. Then Terramar comes to get Starlight who he somehow found in the hidden cave they're all in and explains Silverstream went missing so they have to go search for her. She goes to help and after Maud states perfect parties are more of a Pinkie thing, Mudbriar states it already wasn't perfect because the flowering sticks he wanted Trixie and Glimmy to get have glued-on flowers. Everyone then contemplates beating his ass.
Starlight and Terramar find out Silverstream was researching cockatrices and likely went into the Everfree. The others from the party show up and join them with Trixie leading them but they just get lost. This part's pretty boring and similar to those sequences I hate. They find a flock of cockatrices and end up getting split up and when they finally escape, they discover Mudbriar has been petrified. Maud is ecstatic. They run off to the Castle of the Two Sisters where they find the treemansion where Silverstream happens to be studying her cockatrice stuff and has one herself and has it unpetrify Mudbriar. Episode ends with Starlight learning something.
Actually pretty boring but it has so many goofy moments, I believe it just barely gets 4 EV. No vibe, 3 VB. No real development so 3 DV.
EP 12: The Last Crusade
Rating: 4 6 5
After some spastic kid comes screaming to the CMC about getting his cutie mark, we see at Scootaloo's house, she lives with her aunts. Then they leave and we learn they watch her while her parents are gone. She then gets a letter from them saying they're coming home today. At school, Scoots explains they study dangerous animals in far-away places or something. The school's then attacked by a crackodile but Scootaloo's parents show up to save the place and it turns out Scootaloo's father is Australian which makes Scoots herself half-Australian. I may have to rethink her being best filly after this revelation.
Later, her parents tell her they're all moving away together and Scootaloo panics. The CMC devise a plan to convince Scootaloo's parents to stay by tricking them into believing Ponyville has rare and dangerous creatures. They stage a sighting of the samsquanch or whatever they called it but Scootaloo's parents find out it's just the CMC.
After some more trying to convince her parents to let her stay, they decide to make like environmentalist protesters and chain themselves to the for sale sign in front of her house. The sign is removed so Scootaloo decides to run away to her aunts. Apple Bloom then gets the idea to prove to Scootaloo's parents the CMC's importance to the town. They have the entire town celebrate their existence and this convinces Scootaloo's parents to let her stay.
Good enough for 4 EV. It gets the esteemed 6 VB for Scootaloo having the freedom to stay in Ponyville and fulfill her destiny. You know, there would be a lot less domestic violence and child suicide if teenagers didn't need parents' consent for everything. You can kinda apply this episode's message in that regard. Parents shouldn't have absolute control over their children, especially if they're old enough to be reasoned with. The reason high school-aged kids aren't allowed basic freedoms is because of laws that treat kids as subhuman trash who can be subject to the control of others. And due to these laws, people's moral attitudes shift towards the opinion these laws are just and the memes these laws sought to create are solidified in culture. This episode shows despite being kids, kids can still provide great value to the world and restricting their freedom solely due to their age is utterly fucking retarded. 5 DV because we learn so much about Scootaloo's family.
EP 13: Between Dark And Dawn
Rating: 4 3 4
Some giant turtle thing comes, fucking up Sweet Apple Acres and the ponies stop it but after they do and the situation is resolved, Celestia and Luna appear out of fucking nowhere and do absolutely nothing and then teleport it away before Twilight can. However, they used an archaic spell that doesn't automate the teleport's position relative to the planet so it's teleported thousands of miles away off into space where it dies.
The Sisters continue helping with innocuous tasks in a sequence that just feels like The Mysterious Mare Do Well. The ponies get tired of their shit and Spike calls out the show's episodic nature by saying "Or maybe this week's just a one-time thing that will never happen again.". The Sisters appear again, going on about wanting a break from royal duties so the ponies decide to take on their duties while the Sisters go on vacation.
The Sisters set off and leave the ponies to manage some swan parade. We then get a Celestia and Luna song that's fine. We see Capper during it too. By the end of it, they're tired of each other's shit and afterwards, the ponies enact a hostile takeover of the swan parade and fire everyone. Later, Luna sends a letter to Celestia at the post office who then receives it there.
Then Celestia and Luna get makeovers.
Wait a minute...
They get tired of each other's shit again and meanwhile the Mane 6 are doing some crap I don't care about. Skipping to the point, Celestia and Luna keep being moody little cunts until they realize they need each other or something.
Celestia and Luna parts are amusing but the parts with the Mane 6 are boring and I didn't give a shit about them so this episode barely gets 4 EV. No vibe which gets it 3 VB. We learn a little more about Celestia and Luna so 4 DV.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-5 Published 2025-6-1