Season 6 Episodes 1-7

It's all downhill from here, bros.

EP 1: The Crystalling Part 1

Rating: 3 2 5

We start with Starlight mentioning the non-Euclidean nature of Twilight's castle. She's lost and opens a door that happens to be Spike in the bathroom and she asks him where the library is to which he says it's the next door on the left. First of all, having a bathroom next to the library seems like a bad idea because if the bathroom has a plumbing leak, it could seep into the library. Second, when we see Starlight enter the library, there's a window on the right side of the room relative to Starlight. So does this window connect to the bathroom for some reason or is the bathroom small enough to end before the window?

Twilight's now giving Starlight friendship lessons and in the theme song, the only difference is Starlight's there looking like a gun's being pointed at her head in the group photo. Oh look, they're reading the Mox Coms.

Their expressions is how I imagine most people will react reading these.

Starlight fucks off to the throne room and we get exposition about the Crystalling crap, how Cadance and Shining Armor are having their kid, and Crystal Empire traditions. Spike also says "millennia" as singular which is grammatically incorrect.

After this, Starlight goes back to Twilight who says she's narrowed down three friendship lessons, one being reuniting with Sunburst who happens to be in the Crystal Empire which causes Starlight to internally freak the fuck out. She then becomes a bucket-head.

Starlight wandering around again explains to Spike more of her and Sunburst's past together showing how Sunburst was the one to teach her a bunch of stuff suggesting either he has the higher IQ or he's more dedicated to learning. Starlight displays more skill though after learning from him. I still think Starlight has a very high IQ regardless.

Twilight gets a letter that the kid's been born and everyone fucks off to the Crystal Empire. On the way there, Starlight explains her worry of meeting Sunburst to Twilight and Twilight references Amending Fences. Then they arrive and we meet the little bastard. It turns out to be an alicorn and everyone's surprised and Celestia states Equestria has never seen the birth of an alicorn before. This suggests Celestia and Luna weren't born alicorns. Were there books or something in the comics that actually do state they were born as alicorns? I haven't read any of the MLP books or comics so I don't know. Either way, it's compatible with my harmony manifestation theory. Also, the reason Equestria may have never seen a natural-born alicorn is because no alicorns have had children as far as we can tell. It's possible Cadance becoming an alicorn gave her alicorn genes or altered her existing genes and she can pass on those alicorn genes to offspring.

Starlight and Spike arrive at Sunburst's house and he turns out to be a NEET, contrary to Starlight's expectations of him being an important wizard since he went off to magic school after he left. He lies to her saying he is an important wizard while Starlight hides her past.

Then the baby destroys the Crystal Heart and everything goes to shit.

EP 2: The Crystalling Part 2

Rating: 3 2 5

Because the Crystal Heart's gone, a massive, uncontrollable storm sets in threatening to turn the Crystal Empire into a wasteland. You know what? The Crystal Empire fucking sucks. If you need an extremely magical artifact to make a place even survivable, that place just sucks. Who would ever voluntarily live there? It's not like it's even geographically advantageous territory. It's just a tundra biome with Yakyakistan even further north in the winter hellscape. At least yaks are biologically adapted to the environment. If there are valuable resources, it would make more sense to only have industrial towns. Why did the proto-crystal ponies ever migrate there? It's possible in ancient history, the environment was actually survivable but as it became more difficult to survive, it would make more sense to just migrate away as opposed to making an artifact you have to rely on for survival. Why would the crystal ponies stay? Are they stupid?

Starlight and Sunburst's reunion fails and she and Spike notice the weather's fucked. The crystal ponies also fail to notice the storm too. Even pre-Sombra, they must have been so reliant on the Crystal Heart they don't notice the obvious signs it's gone.

They find a spell to repair the Crystal Heart but the little bastard destroys the fucking thing and Twilight has to rewrite it from memory. Starlight goes to get Sunburst since she thinks he's a master wizard or something so he can fix the shit. Starlight has to womansplain to him to get him to do the crap and he reveals he's not actually a wizard and Starlight reveals she was evil and stuff. Sunburst then realizes he might be able to repair the Crystal Heart and at the place, he says it's been around for millennia meaning the crystal ponies have been around for thousands of years. With the power of autism, he saves the day by fixing the Crystal Heart.

Very weak episode especially for a two-parter so it gets 3 EV. 2 VB because Flurry Heart fucking sucks. Stupid cringe-ass baby. Fucking goo-goo ga-ga headass. Worst pony. 5 DV because I have to acknowledge Flurry Heart is technically a development and Starlight progresses with rekindling her friendship with Sunburst and even his character progresses a bit.

EP 3: The Gift Of The Maud Pie

Rating: 4 3 4

Pinkie and Rarity are going to Manehatten because Pinkie has a sisterly tradition with Maud and Rarity is opening up a new shop there. Pinkie reveals the tradition thing is done one-on-one with each sister in a new location each year. How does she get Marble to go out and how does she keep Limestone from causing incidents?

At a point Maud's holding Boulder to some postcards stating how he wants to get his cousin one which was pretty funny. Pinkie explains to Rarity how she wants to get Maud a gift for their tradition thing and she yells few times, pissing off the ponies in the city. It's a fucking metropolitan city, people wouldn't give a fuck about loudness, they're already used to the noise pollution which contributes to the societal rot.

They take a sightseeing tour to obfuscate their plan to get Maud her gift. Pinkie finds the store is closed though and grabs a random child in a panic and scares another pony before making a scene slamming on the door.

Since Pinkie can't get the rock pouch she wanted to get Maud, she and Rarity try to pry Maud for different gift ideas at a bunch of places and at a jewelry store, Maud says boulder says the jewelry is too stuck-up which is really funny. Eventually, Twicane.

Eventually, they find the rock pouch Pinkie wants to gift and she has to trade her party cannon for it with a pedophile. Later, it's time to swap gifts and Pinkie gets confetti for the cannon. Maud finds out Pinkie gave away her party cannon and just instantly tracks down the pedophile and reveals she can find ponies so easily because of her Maud sense. Ok, Littlepip. Maud then reveals she's running a charisma build and passes the speech check to get the pedophile to give back the party cannon.

Maud antics save this episode so it gets 4 EV. 3 VB because I vibe with nothing in this episode. I am not a gift giver. The only generous things I really do is carrying and twinking people in video games oftentimes for my own amusement and if not, as a labor transaction so I can be carried or assisted in something. 4 DV because we learn about the Pie sisters' tradition and Rarity gets a new shop.

EP 4: On Your Marks

Rating: 4 4 4

It's the first CMC meeting since they got their cutie marks and considering my timeframe theory, it's been at least four months since the last meeting. Sweetie and Scoots are too busy staring at their asses to care about the meeting though. They decide to help other ponies so they have something to do and start harassing a bunch of people in an attempt to help them. During a montage, Mayor Mare is shown just signing a bunch of shit without reading it. Fucking incompetent idiot, this town is going to fucking collapse because of your idiocy!

At the school playground, they complain about how no one wants their help until Bulk Biceps hears them and explains he has a cutie mark problem. They solve his problem but what was he doing in the school playground?

The CMC have an existential crisis since they don't know how to help people and coming up with ideas, Apple Bloom pulls down a map of Equestria.

They all realize since they don't have to worry about crusading, they can just have fun but their ideas of fun don't appeal to each other. Scoots tries to get them scootering but Sweetie and Apple Bloom utterly fail, just rolling back and falling before they can even try which was fucking hilarious. Also, cute Scoots:

Sweetie tries to get them to sing which Scoots and Apple Bloom fail at. The songs in the show are implied to be actual events that happen and the CMC have had a lot of songs so what the fuck? Apple Bloom tries to get them into potioncraft but they just end up making makeshift explosives. Back at the clubhouse, Apple Bloom reveals she's allergic to bees. Do ponies have epinephrine treatment for this or will they just die if they have an allergic reaction?

Sweetie and Scoots decide to just do what they want on their own since they realize they don't have to do everything together but Apple Bloom has loneliness-induced depression and doesn't enjoy doing anything without them.

Apple Bloom finds some dancing thing to try and utterly fails. There's a colt there however that's too shy to perform despite being skilled. Apple Bloom has another depressive episode, along with seemingly having a manic episode littering the entire clubhouse with shit she tried to do and didn't find any joy in.

Apple Bloom looks completely dejected here. Like, damn, get this filly some fucking help.

Okay, she legit does have manic breakdown. The others tell Apple Bloom they can still do stuff together, just that they can do stuff the others don't want to do, alone. Apple Bloom then just gets over her depression and realizes she needs to help the colt from earlier since he doesn't have a cutie mark. Then she helps him get over his stage fright and he gets his cutie mark.

Alright filly episode worth 4 EV. 4 VB for the CMC realizing they can split up to help others instead of having to do everything together. 4 DV for the CMC evolving and kinda growing up, realizing the others aren't gonna like some of the stuff they like and accepting it.

EP 5: Gauntlet Of Fire

Rating: 4 5 5

We start with Rarity slipping up and revealing she knows she's being manipulative towards Spike. He then becomes a glowie.

Turns out he's being called by the dragon lord. Rarity then exclaims her concern, calling dragons ghastly creatures in front of Spike. Genuinely, what a fucking cunt. Twilight and Rarity decide to accompany Spike to the Dragonlands.

There, the dragon lord appears and explains he needs to be replaced before rambling about stalkin' broads. He's holding a competition to determine the next dragon lord. Spike initially wants out but decides he wants to win so he can undermine dragon society to benefit ponies, true to his bioluminescence.

Daughter of the dragon lord, Ember wants to compete in the thing but he doesn't allow her so she sneaks in. The thing starts and Spike has to save Ember from drowning. After being rescued, she discovers Twilight and Rarity and then Garble, the bully from Dragon Quest gets knocked down to where they are and harasses Spike while Ember covers for the ponies so they don't get found out. Eventually Garble says "I'm funny" after insulting Spike again and this is a lot funnier than it should be.

Spike and Ember decide to work together to win the thing. At a point, dragons are shown to get burned by fire so are they immune to lava but not fire or was this a writing error? Eventually Ember becomes an edgelord and ditches Spike and he later finds the cavern the scepter that determines the next dragon lord is in. Then Garble comes in to harass Spike but Ember saves him. After some fighting, Spike grabs the scepter and is the new dragon lord and commands Garble to hug everyone on the way out which is very amusing. Spike then gives the scepter to Ember and she becomes the new dragon lord. Garble also hugs the previous dragon lord which is really funny.

Episode ends with Twilight talking about how dragons can now be allies with ponies and she and Ember will be writing letters and stuff.

I think this episode, they may have retconned dragons. Notice how there's pretty much only bipedal dragons competing in the thing. Back then and still, I believed bipedal and quadrupedal dragons are different to each other akin to humans and apes. Quadrupedal dragons aren't shown to be as sapient as bipedal ones unless later dragon episodes disprove this. Even in Secret Of My Excess, Spike loses reason as a giant quadrupedal dragon and in Dragon Quest, only bipedal dragons talk.

Pretty entertaining episode with a few funny moments so it gets 4 EV. 5 VB because this episode makes me think of Hegelian Dialectics. Dragons refuse to help or take help from others but Spike from a different culture convinced Ember to work together with him and because of this, they won the competition by challenging dragon customs. Ember, now challenging aspects of dragon society can open it up to Equestria and benefit both ponies and dragons as the synthesis. Or maybe this isn't Hegelian Dialectics, my only knowledge of it comes from Caesar's explanation in New Vegas. I also really like Garble and Ember's characters. 5 DV for seeing more dragon stuff and their society advancing.

EP 6: No Second Prances

Rating: 5 6 5

Why's Glimmy on the tapestry?

Twilight wants to set the table without using magic but Starlight doesn't listen and uses magic anyways. Celestia is coming to the castle tomorrow to check on Starlight's friendship lessons. Why set the table today then? The stuff will just collect dust. They also set out four plates prompting Starlight to question it and Twilight answers the fourth's for Starlight to bring a new friend.

Glimmy sets off to find a new friend but just fucks everything up as she tries to get one. At a point, she bails on a tea party hosted by Flutters and she gets really sad at this which is pretty funny.

Eventually she says fuck it and just goes to the spa where she finally meets a new friend. Glimmy brings her new friend to Twilight to reveal it's the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Twilight is a shitty friend though and tries to convince Glimmy Trixie isn't the best choice for new friend which prompts Glimmy to question Twilight's forgiveness towards Trixie back in Magic Duel and Twilight's trust in her ability to choose friends.

Why do Trixie's eyes have a full iris gradient and only one eye glint as opposed to almost every other pony who has two solid parts interrupting the iris gradient and two glints?

Twilight tries convincing Starlight to change friends and introduces her to Vinyl who just walks off. Next, Twilight suggests Derpy. Starlight gets pissed at her for not trusting her decision to bring Trixie to the thing before in one last gasp, Twilight tries to recommend Cranky.

Trixie after Starlight meets back up with her goes off about some magic trick she wants to do and Glimmy comes up with an idea to actually do it. Problem is, the magic show is tonight, the same night as the dinner with Celestia. Trixie attempts to emotionally manipulate Starlight into helping her. Back at the castle, Glimmy's other 'friends' are there and Celestia is unamused.

Twilight sets off to find Starlight and comes across Trixie's show where she finds and confronts Starlight over skipping the dinner. Then Trixie slips up and reveals she wanted Starlight to be with her to win against Twilight for Starlight's friendship and this pisses Starlight off. Trixie has to continue the show regardless and eventually reveals the manticore to be used for her magic trick which terrifies Fluttershy even though she had no fear towards manticores back in the second episode of the series. Since Starlight isn't there, the trick is pretty much guaranteed to kill Trixie. Starlight's watching from the distance and looks as dejected as Apple Bloom from On Your Marks. It really is sad pony hours.

Twilight realizes she's been a cunt and finally lets Starlight choose to be friends with Trixie. Starlight then saves Trixie from her suicide attempt by assisting in the magic trick and being her friend again. Also, why does the manticore bow at the end? Is it actually sapient or just mimicking the ponies?

While all this went on, Celestia and the other 'friends' are still at the castle waiting.

Thoroughly entertaining episode worth 5 EV. 6 VB for the narrative of Starlight befriending Trixie and making Twilight realize she's being hypocritical as princess of friendship by trying to get Starlight to not befriend Trixie considering both their pasts. This kinda feels like a season 2 episode if it was good. I don't really know how to describe it but this does feel like a very high-tier episode in terms of the narrative or writing or something. Starlight and Trixie are also a very good duo. I thought about whether Twilight is out of character in this episode but while I would definitely consider this so if she acted this way without Starlight being in the episode, I believe the context of Starlight choosing Trixie as her first new friend is believable enough, I don't think it's out of character. Celestia does seem out of character with her not even speaking and only showing complete boredom though. 5 DV because of Starlight and Trixie's new friendship advancing their characters.

EP 7: Newbie Dash

Rating: 4 3 4

We continue Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolts arc and Scoots is excited about seeing her in the next show but Rainbow Dash explains how she won't actually be performing unless someone can't fly since she's just a reservist staying true to the continuity. Spitfire then just shows up and tells Rainbow Dash she's no longer in the reserves and is now a full Wonderbolt. Scoots is excited.

We're at Rainbow Dash's house and outside the windows, we can see other cloud buildings as opposed to previous episodes where it seems to be in an isolated area so did she move it to a neighborhood, near Cloudsdale, or what? Rainbow Dash then explains she's replacing some other pony that retired and will now be teaching instead. If you can't do, teach.

Pinkie starts worrying about Rainbow Dash leaving. Rainbow Dash explains she's not leaving for good, just for this one show but back then, it was kinda obvious the writers came up with the Wonderbolts reserves to explain how she doesn't have to live away with the Wonderbolts. Even though now, they mostly do airshows akin to present-day Blue Angels, they're still an actual military organization within Equestria as explained with their history in Testing Testing 1, 2, 3. Her being a non-reservist now seems like a writing oversight since it was kinda implied non-reservists would be stationed with the Wonderbolts.

Eventually at the Wonderbolts headquarters, Rainbow Dash ends up crashing into a trash can and everyone starts calling her Rainbow Crash reminding her of her bullies from flight school. They continue to bully her and she decides to act like her friends to try to get them to stop.

Dynamic Dash

Forthright Filly

Reading Rainboom

Care Mare

Rainbow Fash

We also see Rainbow Dash has the same locker decorations as the last time we saw it. Only decorative thing I've ever kept in a locker was a piece of paper with my name written in Russian a bunch of times with Shrek written at the top in Cyrillic. Still have it too.

Then the actual Wonderbolts show is about to begin and Rainbow Dash plans an unplanned stunt during the thing to regain her reputation and abducts Scootaloo for it. It completely fails, ending in her crashing in front of everyone and she kills herself the next day out of shame.

Fine enough for 4 EV. Nothing vibe with so 3 VB. Continues Rainbow Dash's Wonderbolts stuff so 4 DV.

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Written 2025-2-8 Published 2025-3-1