EP 14: Canterlot Boutique
Rating: 4 5 4
So Rarity bought another shop in Canterlot to expand her business which Twilight reveals was paid for with the bonus she earned working with Sapphire Shores. Rarity has also hired a manager named Sassy Saddles for the new location who's a corpo-brained marketing major. During the opening ceremony, Sassy Saddles steals the spotlight from Rarity. Also, look at the cream-colored pony below; she's so pretty.
Rest of the episode is Sassy Saddles stealing the spotlight and ruining Rarity's plans with her marketing bullshit, making only one of Rarity's dresses popular while completely ignoring the others and disincentivising creativity in favor of staleness and advertising potential.
Sassy at a point asks Rarity if she's sure she doesn't want her friends to help make dresses and either one of two things is going on in her head. Either Sassy is a complete moron and doesn't realize Rarity would have to pay her friends for their labor in which case an additional five ponies to pay in a two-pony business is likely a horrible financial decision or Sassy Saddles expects them to do unpaid labor. Then we get a song which is fine. I really like the vocals.
Rarity then just loses her shit and decides to close the store because of Sassy Saddles' bullshit. Sassy also says how she can't be a part of another failed boutique which just makes me think she's the common denominator of that problem. Never trust anyone with a marketing or advertising degree. Rarity's giant "fuck this" going out of business sale then results in ponies loving her other dresses and the episode ends with Sassy realizing she was an idiot but keeps her job.
It was an alright enough episode so it gets 4 EV. I give it 5 VB for the message of not creatively limiting yourself because retards with marketing degrees try to poison your mind. 4 DV because Rarity is expanding her business.
EP 15: Rarity Investigates!
Rating: 4 4 3
Another Rarity episode and we're still in Canterlot and open in the Canterlot boutique. Rainbow Dash then arrives and destroys the shop. Rainbow Dash has a Wonderbolts thing or something for a garden opening. Rarity then manipulates a stallion into doing her bidding. Let Rarity's multiple manipulations throughout the series be a warning to all the heterosexual men in the audience to never let a woman woo you into doing crap for her.
At the event thing, Rainbow Dash has a sperg-out over some Wonderbolts guy. The next day at Wonderbolts practice, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are watching and we see this extremely cute moment between the two.
Eventually, it's said that Spitfire had to leave and now Rainbow Dash can be in the show and fly with the guy she was sperging over but then it's revealed that Spitfire was actually sent away on a false reason and they suspect Rainbow Dash of doing this to get in the show. Rarity then becomes an investigator to prove Rainbow Dash's innocence to which the scenes become black and white and when they switch back to color a few times, it's pretty jarring going from shades of grey to ultra-colorful rainbow pony world. Also, these two screenshots look pretty cool.
Herobrine sighting #32, #33
Then it's discovered the guy who Rainbow Dash was sperging over framed Rainbow Dash so she couldn't take his record or something. I've been falsely accused and faced punishment for shit I didn't do many times in my life. People that falsely accuse people of crimes they didn't commit deserve to be shot.
Herobrine sighting #34
Another alright episode worth 4 EV. 4 VB because they kick out the guy from the Wonderbolts for framing Rainbow Dash. Nothing interesting happens in terms of development so 3 DV.
EP 16: Made In Manehatten
Rating: 4 4 4
Rarity and Applejack are summoned by the map to Manehatten. Third episode in a row where Rarity is a focus character. We also learn they have to go to Manehatten while the Sisterhooves Social is going on.
They arrive at Manehatten and Applejack begins getting worried because she's not used to being in big cities since she's a normal person whose brain hasn't been fried by the societal rot big cities bring. Skipping to the point of the episode, they find a flyer to some restoration thing being headed by Coco Pommel. And just look how adorable she is as a filly!
We learn that a single pony brought the local Manehatten borough together and ever since she left, the city went to shit and now everyone hates each other. Rarity and Applejack then decide to help Coco with the thing and she has an autism moment, failing to understand an expression. They then try to get other ponies to help them but fail because the city has decayed everyone's minds and now everyone is a mindless automaton concerned only with economic gain, completely numb to the concept of virtue which they delude themselves into believing they're working towards by demanding capital gain in every single aspect of society, only ever doing gainless labor or charity to instead get social capital which they will then use to gain monetary capital to keep the cycle going furthering the rot of society. We also get a callback to the imported oats from Slice Of Life.
They then arrive at the park the event thing is supposed to be in but it's in complete disarray because the government used all the local tax money to invest in policing and surveillance infrastructure instead of improving the quality of life in the city and deregulating firearms so people can defend themselves and not need to rely on state pawns to shoot children and minorities that may or may not be perpetrators. They try to fix the park but get arrested for disrupting public property and Applejack gets shot while trying to run away from a police pony that aimed a gun at her. The stage she was trying to repair then collapses on her before the police pony can finish the job and plant a weapon on her. The fire department then arrives and rescues Applejack who is miraculously still alive and she is taken to the hospital under police supervision since she's still under arrest. She's put on life support but the same police pony from before is the one supervising her and he decides to sabotage the life support so Applejack can't reveal the truth. The police pony walks towards the life support machine and as he's about to sabotage it, we hear "I don't think so, Sugarcube" and Applejack throws her blanket over the cop and rolls out of the bed before bucking the stunned cop against the wall knocking him out. Applejack then collapses from the pain of her bullet wound and later wakes up after surgery and is transported to the courthouse where she is standing trial. The judge brings in the cop to testify and upon the end of his testimony, the judge looks at Applejack. He looks her dead in the eyes. "For the crime of trespassing on public tax-paid property, I declare you not guilty!" and the courtroom erupts into cheer before the judge whacks his gavel yelling "Order in the court!" and all went silent. He then turns his gaze to the cop and says "You shot an unarmed, innocent mare. What say you?" Suddenly, a sharp-suited stallion bursts open the courtroom doors and declares himself the cop's lawyer. He walks up to the counsel table and rests his suitcase on it. He looks at the judge and says "Your Honor, my client is innocent for you see, space aliens came down to Equestria and inhabited the body of my client, causing him to shoot our dear Applejack." And with that, the judge sat in silence for a moment thinking. He grabs his gavel. "For the crime of shooting an innocent mare," he says, "I declare you not guilty!" The courtroom then bursts into protest and a riot forms. A swarm of police then arrives at the courthouse as the protest grows. They fail at disbanding the protest. One group of the protesters is guarding Applejack while another has beaten the cop to death. Rarity then storms the judge's bench, throwing the judge across the room. "This court has clearly shown no justice for my friend Applejack who was wrongly attacked by a brute using his status to attempt murder! We must show the ponies of Equestria that my friend's life matters! We must show everypony that all of our lives matter and we won't let brutes such as this cop dissuade us from this fact. Tomorrow you may be in Applejack's position. Your family member may be in her position. Your friend may be in her position. We all may be in her position as we protest the transgression committed against her. We may all be an Applejack tomorrow so let Equestria hear us when we say that Applejack lives matter!"
Applejack then gets the idea to downscale the play thing since the original idea didn't pan out and we get an adorable Coco.
Then a play starts and ponies show up to watch and this whole thing reminds me of the play from the Witcher 3. The ponies enjoy the play and stop being cunts to each other.
Another fine episode worth 4 EV. 4 VB for the message that simple, small things can significantly help people and communities. I also interpreted the message that sometimes you have to downscale things and work within limitations. 4 DV for seeing Coco again and learning a little about Manehatten.
EP 17: Brotherhooves Social
Rating: 5 4 4
This episode takes place during the previous, being that it's the Sisterhooves Social and Applejack and Rarity fuck off to Manehatten. Apple Bloom starts giving a lot of attention and praise to Applejack which makes Big Mac sad.
Apple Bloom gets sad when Applejack leaves and she can't do the Sisterhooves Social and neither can Sweetie. Scootaloo also confirms that she and Rainbow Dash aren't sisters so retards will stop saying they are.
Big Mac then gets an idea to get Apple Bloom in the Sisterhooves Social by being her sister.
Apple Bloom and her new sister Orchard Blossom then cream the competition and Orchard Blossom proves that brothers make the best sisters. At the race, they win due to Orchard's biological advantage she has against normie girls. She also runs faster than Rainbow Dash although this could just be Rainbow Dash running slower so Scoots can keep up. Then Orchard's disguise fails revealing Big Mac but everyone already knew it was him this whole time and let him in the event with Apple Bloom because Ponyville is a very tolerant town. They do get disqualified though because Orchard destroyed the racecourse and physically assaulted the other racers to win. I don't know, maybe girls should just be stronger. Sounds like a skill issue on their part and they're just womansplaining like a bunch of intolerant chudettes.
At the end of the episode, Big Mac has a heart to heart with Apple Bloom about how he feels insignificant compared to Applejack. I don't know, sounds like a skill issue.
This was a very goofy episode with Orchard Blossom's shenanigans so it gets 5 EV. 4 VB because of the message that Big Mac doesn't have to be saving the world to be a good brother or something. 4 DV because we learn about Big Mac's feelings.
EP 18: Crusaders Of The Lost Mark
Rating: 6 5 6
Opening song is fine. You don't need to have seen this episode or know what happens to tell this one's important by this opening song. So then Pipsqueak comes the CMC crying about how he's running for "student pony president". Everyone in their school is a pony, the pony part is redundant and would imply there would be separate student presidents for different species if there were any. The CMC decide to be his political propaganda team and Sweetie also levitates him at a point showing she's really gotten stronger with her levitation magic.
So at the schoolyard, Pip explains how he plans to get the playground repaired since it took a beating during Twilight and Tirek's fight. Diamond Tiara comes and says Pip's plan is stupid comparing it to when Peppermint Twist wanted to repair a window Discord destroyed. This made me think this may be a reference to the fanfic Background Pony although the connection I'm making may be a stretch and I may be finding a reference that isn't there. Di then explains her proposal to fix the window was better because she gave it "visual appeal".
We learn Di's mom is president of the school board and her wealth gives her power over it. Silver Spoon mentions if Di is elected again, a statue of Diamond Tiara will be erected in the school yard. Di then gets really mad at Sil for spoiling what was supposed to be her surprise to reveal. Then we get a song of the CMC propagandizing Pip which I love the vocals of. Diamond Tiara says "natural selection" at a point which just makes me imagine her and Sil as the Columbine shooters. Artists, you know what you gotta do. Di then just tries to blackmail all the foals into voting for her. One filly's secret she threatens to expose is her super strength which I don't know, seems advantageous to the filly if others knew about it. Also, the filly is very cute.
Di's a cunt to Sil again and Pip wins the election with Di's only vote for her being herself. Silver Spoon then tells her off. Also, reminder that I'm running for president.
After Diamond Tiara runs off in anger, the CMC go to make sure she's not trying to kill herself or self-harm again and come across Diamond Tiara's mother telling her how much of a disappointment she is for not winning the election. Then we get a Diamond Tiara song that is one of the best songs this show has had. The CMC realize that Diamond Tiara is just misguided and they want to help her not be a cunt.
They all go to the CMC clubhouse and Di tells the CMC how they're lucky they aren't stuck with a cutie mark and can go on adventures and stuff unlike her who's stuck with one she doesn't understand. The CMC reveal they overheard her with her mother and the song and Di gets mad asking if they were trying to get a cutie mark in spying which they deny but it would've been hilarious if instead, on the board of things they were trying to get cutie marks for, it's shown they have tried to get cutie marks in espionage and Sweetie gave something like a "Well, yes but...". Then Pip comes back crying about how the school board denied his request to repair the playground since the school has no money. Where the fuck is the local tax money going!? Jesus Christ, Mayor Mare needs to be fucking kicked out!
This gives Di the idea she can win back her position since Pip lacks the funds to actually do anything and he'll be kicked out of office and she'll be voted back in. Then we get another song of the CMC trying to reason with Di and god, is it amazing.
They arrive back at the schoolhouse only for Di's mother to be there and she just talks down to everyone until Diamond Tiara tells her off and makes her give a note to her father, Mr. Rich. Di then reveals to the schoolponies her special talent is getting others to do what she wants and she used to use that ability for her selfish gain but will now use it to help ponies and the note was a request for Filthy Rich to donate money to the school for the new playground since Ponyville's economy is so fucked that private entities have to fund what should be tax-funded infrastructure. Then we get another song that's fine and shows her positive leadership skills.
Then the CMC realize their special talent is helping others find their special talents and get their cutie marks. Another fine song. Derpy sighting.
Beautiful fucking episode. Truly worth 6 EV. 5 VB for the CMC realizing their true talent of helping others. 6 DV because the CMC got their fucking cutie marks.
EP 19: The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows
Rating: 4 3 4
We start with Pinkie learning that Cadance and Shining Armor fucked and are having a kid thus starting the fucking Flurry Heart shit. Pinkie is then told she has to keep it a secret and the rest of the episode is her struggling to keep the secret. That's it. DeviantArt Pinkie:
We also get I think the first time the show calls the train the Friendship Express. I don't know if some toyset had the name first or if I'm even right about this being the first time it's named in the show but I noticed this regardless. Pinkie then vandalises the castle. After that, she decides to be a NEET and lock herself in her room so she can't ruin anything but can't lie down and rot because of a deal she made earlier. Derpy sighting:
Eventually Mayor Mare tries getting Pinkie Pie to reveal other ponies' secrets so she has blackmail material in case the need arises proving further just how horrible of a mayor she is. Pinkie also starts having schizophrenic hallucinations again.
Cadance and Shining Armor then arrive in Ponyville and make the Mane 6 do a scavenger hunt and it's also shown that ponies have birth certificates. Ew. Birth certificates should be abolished. Also, because Mayor Mare is stupid and just leaves official documents unsecured in the town hall, anyone can just walk in and view or steal them which makes identity theft extremely easy.
Episode ends with the ponies sending Pinkie to a psychiatric hospital for her schizophrenia where she is treated like sub-pony trash and legally mandated to take drugs that make her suicidal.
Episode was fine so it gets 4 EV. Nothing at all to vibe with so 3 VB. 4 DV because we learn Shining and Cadance had sex.
EP 20: Hearthbreakers
Rating: 5 5 5
It's winter again and Hearth's Warming Eve. Pinkie and the Apple family are going to the rock farm to spend it with Pinkie's family. On the train to the farm, they callback to the possibility of the Apple and Pie families being related. After Apple Bloom gets excited over presents and stuff like a normal kid should, Applejack has to womansplain dumb shit about the true meaning of Hearth's Warming or something. Just shut up and let the kid get her free shit. Then there's another callback to how Equestria was founded.
They arrive at the train station and Maud is there and mentions the Mohs hardness scale meaning the pony equivalent of the real guy Friedrich Mohs exists in the pony world. Then we meet the rest of Pinkie's family starting with her parents who speak Early Modern Ponish. Then we meet her other two sisters Limestone and Marble Pie who are among the best characters in this show. Replace Pinkie with Pinkamena and all four of the Pie sisters would be in my top 10. And remember episode 2 where I said my personality was more like a cross between Twilight and Fluttershy? Well if you want a much more accurate comparison, it's a mix of all four Pie sisters assuming Pinkie is Pinkamena.
Pinkie then reveals that Marble is only a few minutes younger than her. I'm pretty sure the Pie sisters are Quadruplets. Horses don't have litters. I'm pretty sure there's also an episode in a later season confirming Maud is a twin too which is why I think they're Quadruplets unless Limestone isn't a twin. Regardless, I think Limestone is the oldest of them since she feels like she has to be the one in control of the farm like it's her duty as the eldest sibling.
At dinner time, Pinkie's family serves rock soup to the disappointment of the Apple family. This makes me wonder if there are certain rocks that actually would add flavor to soup. The rocks in the soup are large enough to not be a choking or tooth hazard, not that it's a problem to the Pie family who do just eat the rocks, so this may be an actual way to add to soup.
Limestone knows exactly what she's doing.
Eventually they're all doing a flag finding thing where they have to find an obsidian stone which Pinkie finds and is actually just a drawing of an obsidian stone to determine who raises a flag or something. This reminds me of when I once won a used piece of styrofoam in a Christmas game.
Applejack gets tired of the Pie family's traditions and decides to just impose her traditions onto them pissing them off. Then it turns out Applejack planted a flagpole in a fault line and then the property just destructs. Limestone kicks the Apples out and Applejack and Pinkie cry like a bunch of weak pansies. Then the Apples decide to help the Pie's recover or something and Applejack realizes she was being a cunt. Big Mac and Marble fall in love. It's over with Cheerilee.
Very entertaining episode with a lot of funny moments so 5 EV. I love the Pie sisters so it gets 5 VB for their characters. 5 DV because we meet the other two Pie sisters and learn about Pinkie's family.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-1-13 Published 2025-2-1