I'm probably one of three people who has seen the entirety of Pony Life and having to go through it all again might just lower that number back to two.
To keep the word count down, ratings of 3 will not be explained nor will ratings of 2 EV which just means it's boring enough for a lowered score. Even though Pony Life takes place in an alternate universe, I'm still counting against inaccuracies to the original series because Pony Life sucks and deserves it.
Stop-Motion Shorts
They certainly exist. That's all I have to say on them.
EP 1: Princess Probz
Rating: 2 2 3
I want to kill myself.
So a thing with this series is there's a lot of potion drinking which just feels like a metaphor for drugs, especially in later episodes. Pinkie wants to be in some reality show which technically isn't technologically impossible considering movies exist in the main show. The others try to help prepare Pinkie for her audition and at a point, Rainbow Dash goes on about how Pinkie needs to do some shit to "grab their hearts, eyeballs, and advertisers". So great, we're teaching kids about the advertising industry and perpetuating the cancer it is with positive references to it. Total advertiser death!
Pinkie fucks off to the audition and fails so hard, she wins. A problem almost all of these have is they are so fastly paced yet so boring and I often don't really know what the fuck is going on. Celestia's sorta cute, I guess.
2 VB because of the advertiser thing.
EP 2: The Best Of The Worst
Rating: 3 4 3
Probably the third-best episode of the entire series. At the beginning, we get probably the funniest moment in the entire series when a fanpony of Rainbow Dash goes to see her and she just crushes the little foal with her trophy. When Rainbow Dash arrives at Sugarcube Corner which is pretty much the hub of the show, it's announced Rainbow Dash is employee of the "month". She doesn't actually work there.
Some dude named Dishwater Slog makes Pinkie break her own drink glasses and then challenges Rainbow Dash at being a failure. There's a point where he tells Rainbow Dash she'll "never amount to nothing" which is a very clever use of a double negative considering the context. Eventually they do the emotional failure round where Dishwater explains one must achieve complete suppression of their feelings. So I guess I'm the winner this round. Rainbow Dash however, fails when Dishwater trips the foal from earlier and it cries, prompting her to get mad at him. Yep, Dishwater Slog is the best character in Pony Life. Hell, he even doesn't feel remorse just like me. They then womansplain to him and say he broke Pinkie's drinking glasses when he didn't.
Before they are to lose a race to win, the Mane 6 are at Sugarcube Corner planning or something and I just need to say, for some fucking reason, a lot of the background instrumentals are really fucking good. I don't know if they licensed it or composed the music in-house but damn, did the person who made it do a good job.
Rainbow Dash then wins, resulting in her failure and they womansplain to Dishwater again.
4 VB because I like Dishwater Slog.
EP 3: How Applejack Got Her Hat Back
Rating: 3 3 3
Everyone decides to wear the same hat as Applejack because Rarity is wearing one. Applejack falls into a depression and has an identity crisis like a teenager with a Tumblr account. She then takes a bunch of psychedelics via potions in an attempt to find her new identity and befriends a bunch of counter-culture goth kids. Eventually, Applejack snaps out of it and tells the alt-kids off.
EP 4: Cute-Pocalypse Meow
Rating: 3 2 1
This is the second time MLP has referenced Apocalypse Now in a title. Also either this one or the last one was as far as I could make it before dropping the series back when it came out. Fluttershy befriends a talking cat named Bubbles. After this we see tablets and phones exist in Equestria now. You have to be fucking kidding me. After getting a text from Bubbles calling an art gallery a fart gallery and the others say that's mean, Fluttershy explains he just has a dark sense of humor. You want a dark sense of fucking humor, read the Equestria Girls movies commentaries, they contain some shit that are examples of what true dark humor is.
Bubbles then sabotages a bunch of shit and hurts ponies for the sake of humor. Bubblespilled. Next we see Spike for the first time in the series and that is not Cathy Weseluck voicing him. I really hope the reason she's not voicing Spike is because she turned down the role instead of being dropped. She seemed like the coolest of the main VAs.
Then as everyone's trying cupcakes Pinkie plans to bake on the reality show, Bubbles says reality TV is trash. I'm starting to like this kitty. Twilight says he can't say stuff like that because it's mean. Shut the fuck up and kill yourself, Twilight. You think that's mean? That's fucking nothing. Then Fluttershy confronts Bubbles or something but he has a new friend already who isn't a complete fucking pussy.
2 VB because Bubbles is right. 1 DV because we see phones and tablets exist.
EP 5: Bad Thing No. 3
Rating: 3 3 2
Rarity states Fancypants is "Ponyville's pony of propriety" which is just untrue. He's Canterlotan, not Ponyvillian. Then in a flashback, we see Rarity meeting Fancypants for the first time in Ponyville when she actually met him in Canterlot in season 2. Then some shit about the third thing of things being bad or something.
Herobrine sighting #85
Herobrine sighting #86
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Fancypants' shit is lore-inaccurate so 2 DV.
EP 6: Pinkie Pie: Hyper Helper
Rating: 2 3 4
We start off seeing they're recording with analogue technology which is lore-accurate to MLP but there's also a computer which isn't.
Pinkie's doing shit before it's time for her to go on the reality show but she keeps helping her friends, taking away from her preparations. After helping a sick Rainbow Dash, Pinkie has a Freudian slip and refers to herself as "Mommy". They all go to the show thing and lose. The end.
Concludes the reality show arc so 4 DV. Yes, this show has arcs.
EP 7 1: The Trail Less Trotten
Rating: 2 2 4
Fluttershy wants herself and her friends to be a Trail Trotters troop or troupe; I don't know the difference. We then learn Pinkie took over Sugarcube Corner from the Cake family and Fluttershy is a complete stan of some dolphin motherfucker named Finn Tastic. The ponies decide to open Fluttershy's decision letter without her present and find out she's been rejected from being a Trail Trotter because she's an adult. Applejack being the Element of Honesty, lies to Fluttershy and tells her they're all a troop or troupe.
2 VB because they lie to Flutters to protect her feelings. 4 DV because we learn how Pinkie took over Sugarcube Corner.
EP 7 2: Death Of A Sales Pony
Rating: 2 1 3
They start selling Trail Trotters cookies and Twilight creates a targeted advertising algorithm to sell them. Yeah, this shit's brainwashing kids into thinking advertising and its insidious consequences are an okay thing. Total advertiser death! After Fluttershy becomes a soulless CEO, Pinkie mentions having an implied missing brother. This can be interpreted as a joke so we won't deduct any DV... yet.
1 VB for the advertising shit.
EP 8 1: Bighoof Walking
Rating: 2 2 3
Joke about cloud computing. No, -1 VB. They set off to look for a samsquanch or something. I just remembered, When I was like six, one time out of nowhere, two girls approached me on the playground wanting my help with analyzing a giant's tracks. They were just divots in the ground. Rainbow Dash sacrifices herself and dies.
2 VB because the cloud joke was retarded.
EP 8 2: The Fluttershy Effect
Rating: 3 3 3
I don't know what the fuck's going on in this one.
EP 9 1: The Fast And The Furriest
Rating: 2 2 3
It's just The Cart Before The Ponies but with the ponies' pets and they all tie.
2 VB because the tie ending is stupid and Twilight states "It doesn't matter who wins.". What the fuck is this participation trophy bullshit?
EP 9 2: Disappearing Act
Rating: 3 3 2
We finally see the CMC.
The CMC are also Trail Trotters even though they're part of the Filly Guide in the actual show. Scootaloo says "months". Rarity does some magic act involving potions which as we already established, are probably just drugs. They trip out into a psychological void so Rarity has to figure out how to get them back. Rarity then enacts socialism or something.
2 DV for CMC lore inaccuracy.
EP 10 1: Badge Of Shame
Rating: 3 3 3
Stuff happens and Applejack tries to reference the meme "It was at this moment, he knew he had fucked up" but it's so bastardized from being made child-friendly and forced to fit the context, you can barely notice it's a reference to that.
EP 10 2: Discord's Peak
Rating: 3 3 3
Discord VA change. They climb a volcano and Fluttershy makes them all sacrifice themselves to the magma gods by throwing themselves into it.
EP 11 1: A Camping We Will Go
Rating: 2 3 3
This show's a goddamn cognitohazard. They go camping and something certainly happens.
EP 11 2: Campfire Stories
Rating: 2 3 2
Pinkie overloads the power extension thing and the power goes out.
If you're at someone's house and you see shit like this, leave immediately or you will die.
Then we see they're all iPad babies and they tell stories. Eventually we see Rainbow Dash is scared of the dark. Wasn't she only scared of the dark as a filly and outgrew it?
2 DV for Rainbow Dash inaccuracy.
EP 12 1: Friendship Gems
Rating: 3 3 2
The email announcing the winner of the Finn Tastic meet-and-greet should be coming soon so they continue lying to Fluttershy and say she won. Then Trixie appears and implies she has no friends. What about Glimmy? -1 DV.
Then Fluttershy goes insane.
Trixie inaccuracy so 2 DV.
EP 12 2: Dol-FIN-Ale
Rating: 4 3 4
They go to meet Finn Tastic and try to convince him to keep the act up but he tells Fluttershy they're all horrible friends who lied to her. Finn Tastic then has to tell Applejack to be honest. Meanwhile Fluttershy has an existential crisis for three months but it turns out she's just schizophrenic and it's only been a few minutes. Later, we find out the CMC are the real winners and Celestia congratulates the Mane 6 for being lying cunts. Yeah, I don't know why they just get commended for lying this whole time.
Actually pretty amusing so it gets 4 EV. Probably the best episode in the entire series. 4 DV for concluding the Trail Trotters arc.
EP 13 1: Potion Mystery
Rating: 3 3 1
They're all taking potions recreationally. Yeah, these are definitely drugs. Twilight literally gets high and they wonder who keeps restocking the potions. Also, during scene intros, we can see Ponyville in this show is next to a body of water with Sugarcube Corner on a cliff. This made me wonder what if Gen 5 actually takes place in the Pony Life universe and Maretime Bay is Ponyville in the far future? We then see Twilight still has her treehouse.
They devise plans to catch their mysterious drug dealer but keep failing and they still get blessed with free potions which are just drugs.
1 DV because Twilight has her treehouse.
EP 13 2: Sick Day
Rating: 3 2 3
It's Celestia's birthday. Unfortunately there's absolutely nothing we can cross-reference this with to narrow anything down. Rainbow Dash and Rarity have to make the cupcakes since everyone else, including Pinkie is sick. Pinkie also has schizophrenic hallucinations and mania while in bed. Rainbow Dash and Rarity fail so they make a robot do their jobs for them. You will be skilled at nothing and be happy.
2 VB for offloading labor onto a robot, encouraging the lack of skill development.
EP 14 1: Meet Potion Nova!
Rating: 3 3 4
They find out who their benevolent dealer is and her name is Potion Nova. Also notice how in this shot, she's an alicorn but after this, she's a unicorn.
Turns out, their dealer has run out of shit to make the potions so she offers them all to be drug makers and they happily accept and they go to the Highlands, where all drugs come from to make more. Potion Nova is an alicorn again and a floating unicorn afterwards.
4 DV for meeting Potion Nova.
EP 14 2: Pony Surfin' Safari
Rating: 2 3 3
Everyone trips the fuck out at the Highlands and nearly gets themselves killed.
EP 15 1: All Bottled Up
Rating: 2 3 3
Twilight decides to take drugs instead of talking about her problems and peer pressures Applejack into joining her and at a point, Applejack explains to the audience what claustrophobia is so I guess they know the only people who can actually tolerate watching this garbage are retarded toddlers who don't know any words longer than two syllables. Pinkie then says "Where the fridge are they?". Why the fuck is this retarded iPad baby shit making cussing references? Twilight decides drugs are more important than facing your problems.
EP 15 2: All That Jitters
Rating 2 2 3
Twilight goes to learn how to make drugs from Potion Nova only to find she's gotten high on her own supply and passed the fuck out. She wakes up and teaches Twilight how to cook. Then there's stupid feelings shit about putting your bottled-up emotions into the drugcraft. If I was kid while watching these, this dumb feelings shit would've made me even more fucking stoic and unfeeling than I already am. Then the lab explodes and they both die.
2 VB for generic feelings shit.
EP 16 1: I, Cookie
Rating: 3 3 3
Pinkie comes home and tells Gummy everyone's gone which means they can watch some show together. Gummy says "fuck that", packs up, and leaves. This was pretty amusing. Since no one's around to tell Pinkie to take her medicine, she schizes the fuck out and hallucinates miniature versions of her friends who also don't want to hang out with her and beg for their freedom.
EP 16 2: Keynote Pie
Rating: 2 2 3
Pinkie has a keynote to convince investors to give her money. She even dresses like Steve Jobs and to fully get into character, takes a toilet bath beforehand. She does the keynote and Fluttershy invests her life savings into the business. It goes bankrupt six months later and Fluttershy kills herself.
2 VB for the keynote crap. Fucking hate those things and kids shouldn't get the impression they're anything but desperate attempts at getting retards to invest in your garbage tech company that's probably just making spyware and proprietary garbage.
EP 17 1: Ponies Of The Moment
Rating: 3 1 3
Gummy gets cupcaked and they do some cupcake manufacturing thing which Rarity records and it becomes le heckin' viral video and they obsess over their newfound fame. Pinkie even gets a sponsorship. Total advertiser death!
1 VB because fucking children's cartoons shouldn't be promoting this garbage fucking influencer culture cancer to fucking children. We already have enough brainrotten little shits being datamined and psychologically raped by tech and social media garbage.
EP 17 2: One Click Wonder
Rating: 3 2 3
They lose their fame and Rarity falls for a Nigerian prince scam. Jesus fucking Christ, every time I hear someone unironically say "viral" in this context, I want to paint the fucking ceiling red. They throw slop at the wall in an attempt to gain relevancy again until they realize internet fame is fucking retarded. They get one more video but Spike decides to delete it. You know, you could just keep it and not post it. It's possible to just keep videos saved privately.
2 VB for the stupid internet fame crap.
EP 18 1: Zound Off
Rating: 2 2 3
More like zerk off.
Pinkie and Twilight are dicking around with spyware garbage apps and Rainbow Dash wants to join them but because her phone's filled with bloatware, she has no drive space. Rarity is an alicorn because they're recycling Potion Nova's animation.
2 VB for the stupid phone app bullshit.
EP 18 2: Unboxing Day
Rating: 2 2 3
Fluttershy's trying to record some stupid fucking unboxing video and OH MY MOX, IT'S DERPY!
While Fluttershy fails at unboxing the thing, Angel does that thing fuckers do where they're recording something and then flip the camera around just to show they're the one recording. People who do this should be forced to shoot themselves in front of a crowd of people. That will surely get people's eyes on you. Then Angel steals the phone and sells it on the Chinese black market.
2 VB for the phone shit.
EP 19 1: Don't Look A .GIF Horse In The Mouth
Rating: 2 3 3
It's Pinkie's birthday meaning it's May 3. Not that it means anything in this series. They can't figure out what to get Pinkie for her birthday so Applejack decides to take drugs and then decides to get Pinkie nothing.
EP 19 2: The Root Of It
Rating: 2 3 3
Rarity calls them has-beens who never do anything new. Applejack does stuff and then stuff happens I think.
EP 20 1: The Mysterious Voice
Rating: 2 3 3
Spike hides Twilight's schizophrenia meds since she won't hang out with him so she schizes out and has auditory hallucinations. Then because Applejack's a hoarder, Spike tricks her into thinking the place is haunted. He then uses Rainbow Dash's religiosity to trick her into thinking she has greater ability than she really does and she gets killed trying to stop a robbery.
EP 20 2: The 5 Habits Of Highly Effective Ponies
Rating: 2 3 3
Fluttershy does stuff.
EP 21 1: Game Knight
Rating: 3 3 3
Twilight has access to the HAARP facility and used it to manipulate the weather so her friends would come over to play her stupid tabletop game she made. She then expects them to read the instructions which are about as long as these are. They don't want to play her stupid overly complex game so she pouts and fucks off. They make their own game without her and actually have fun without her bullshit.
EP 21 2: Director Spike's Mockumentary
Rating: 3 3 2
Spike's a film student so he thinks he can make a documentary and like most movies made by reviewers, it fucking sucks and he becomes known as one of the worst directors ever and develops an ironic fanbase he thinks is genuine. Rarity mentions "Ponywood" when on the official map of Equestria, it's called Applewood.
Geographical naming inaccuracy so 2 DV.
EP 22 1: Whoof-Dunnit
Rating: 2 3 3
Rarity finds a hat. There's a part where Applejack states she cannot lie which is a lie. She's already lied in this series before. Rarity is fucking stupid and wastes time looking for the hat's owner before finding out it's hers.
EP 22 2: Dear Tabby
Rating: 3 3 3
Applejack follows some blog named Dear Tabby where people ask this random person on the internet for life advice. Applejack and Rarity have a lovers' quarrel so Applejack asks Tabby for advice. Dear Tabby, is writing 168k words-long commentaries on a children's show a sign of mental illness? Have I fucking lost it?
EP 23 1: Pie Vs Pie
Rating: 3 3 1
Pinkie panics because she no longer has a monopoly on the sweets market in Ponyville. Turns out her brother Octavio runs the competition and look at him, that's just a transgender Marble. But then I realized wait a minute, Octavia is Pinkie's sister in the Silent Ponyville series so I actually wonder if Octavio is a transgender Octavia since trans people often just change their name to something that's the opposite gendered version of their birthname or something close. We never see Octavia in Pony Life either. What if Pony Life takes place in the Silent Ponyville universe in the future?
They fight over who the better baker is or some stupid shit and it ends with them merging their businesses.
1 DV because Pinkie doesn't have a brother.
EP 23 2: Superb Six
Rating: 3 3 3
They have to train Snips and Snails for some gala that isn't the Grand Galloping Gala. Stuff happens. I think.
EP 24 1: The Debut Taunt
Rating: 2 3 3
Rarity's being uppity because she's going to be on some show. She sucks so much, they cut her from the show.
EP 24 2: FlutterDash
Rating: 4 3 3
They arrive at some sports event on a bus, indicating automotive technology does exist. Rainbow Dash is a participant in a bunch of shit but gets injured so she has Fluttershy act as her in the events and gives her performance-enhancing drugs so she'll stand a chance. She wins at buck ball by cheating.
4 EV because it has a few funny moments. Probably second-best episode.
EP 25 1: The Rarity Report
Rating: 2 3 2
Zebras don't have pony cutie marks. -1 DV. Unless he's a hybrid maybe. I don't know how that would work; the show never went into Zebra lore.
They try to get Rarity to participate in an event so she chooses to participate in a debate. However, no one gives a shit about debate bros so the event is canceled. She forces herself into commentating on the events. Only dumbasses commentate on crap they can't actually do.
2 DV for zebra inaccuracy.
EP 25 2: The Great Divide
Rating: 2 3 3
It's just setup for the next episode.
EP 26 1: The Great Collide
Rating: 3 2 3
The ponies are separated on different teams and they bitch and they've been bitching and moaning about it since last episode. Twilight cheats. Pinkie gives them performance-enhancing drugs.
Herobrine sighting #87
Ends in a tie so 2 VB.
EP 26 2: Sportacular Spectacular Musical Musak-ular
Rating: 2 3 4
They do a song and it sucks. I don't know what it is exactly but the vocals are off-key or something and the vocal work itself just fucking sucks. Whoever directed them did a bad job.
4 DV only because it concludes the Sportacular Spectacular arc.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-16 Published 2025-6-1