Rating: 2 3 4
I don't want to watch this movie again.
We open the movie up in pony land with the Mane 6 in the Crystal Empire and Twilight explains how she's nervous and excited for a summit thing and after Pinkie explains the concept of nervouscited and wanting to curl up and hide as part of it, Fluttershy says she's there everyday. I was going to simply add the text "someone please help Flutters" but Flutters' line makes me think about all the times I've heard about young people having a mental illness epidemic or something with all the corposlop addiction apps and state-mandated isolation furthering mental illness so I'm now going to look at suicide rates as of recently.
Well, I'm back and I have found that in the US, suicide rates are at an all time high at least for the past couple decades. Glad to see psychiatry doing its job. Getting everyone hooked on antidepressants, paying out the ass to simply talk to someone, sending people to mental hospitals, and having suicide hotlines that will just give your conversation data to AI companies sure seems to be working wonders.
I can't find data on Canada past 2019. UK is rising. Australia is going down. New Zealand is being a bitch to find simple yearly averages. Oh right, this was about Equestria Girls. I mean half the Equestria Girls fanfics are about Sunset trying to kill herself anyways so it's still related in some sense.
You know what, how about we just have people watch My Little Pony as a treatment for mental illness. Can't be any worse than what we do currently.
The Mane 6 after Twilight complains about her wings and Rarity spergs out about Twilight's crown arrive at the castle.
Fluttershy is how I feel having to go through this movie again
We see Flash Sentry for the first time. I remember when I was younger, I didn't have a problem with him. Now I understand why people hate him. No, I cannot explain why.
Cadance then meets Twilight stating she hasn't seen her since the coronation so at least some time has passed since the season 3 finale. Celestia reveals the reason she summoned the Mane 6 to the castle was to tell them to go to bed.
Twilight in her room worries that since Cadance was given the Crystal Empire to rule over, Celestia might give her someplace to rule over. Don't you worry Twilight, she definitely will.
After the intro credit sequence, we see a mysterious pony lockpick some doors and sneak past a guard that seems to have the perception of an enemy from a corposlop action-adventure game. The mysterious pony, who is Sunset, steals Twilight's crown then trips on Spike giving her an alert status.
How it feels watching this movie.
Sunset looks cool here.
Sunset then escapes with the crown through a portal. The next day, they go to the princesses and we see that Celestia and Luna at least give Cadance the throne in her own empire.
We learn about Sunset and how she used to be Celestia's student before Twilight and the ponies are lead to the portal where stuff is explained and Celestia at a point selfishly says "I had always hoped that Sunset Shimmer would someday use it to return, to come back to Equestria seeking my guidance." just assuming Sunset needed her guidance and couldn't learn things for herself or from someone else. I do believe Celestia is fully benevolent but this line makes me think she may think too little of others' capacity to learn without her.
So Twilight is explained to her mission to retrieve the stolen crown and why it's so important being that it's an Element of Harmony and important to Equestria's defense and crap. But it's also revealed that it alone could bring great harm to the inhabitants to the other world. Before Twilight can set off, her friends state they're going too and after Pinkie states she's nervouscited, Applejack tells her that's not a real word. Applejack, you poor, poor, language midwit. There is no such thing as a real word. All words are simply made up and people just come to an agreement that certain words mean specific things. Grammar is simply a made up ruleset for those words that people agree on. Language is not objective, there is only common understanding of specific rulesets. It really annoys me when people spout crap as not being a real word because it's not in a dictionary as if dictionary authors are the arbiters of what words exist. Despite what the French may tell you, no one dictates what's correct in a language. Languages evolve and new words are made and understood by the majority of the language's speakers. Grammar evolves and new rulesets become understood by the majority of speakers. A midwit speaker or writer of a language restricts themselves to the confines of the rules that others spout to them. A truly skilled speaker or writer of a language knows how to break the language to expand it and shape it to their needs. I myself have done this, inventing my own words and inflections for existing words without them.
It's explained the others can't join Twilight and she goes through along with Spike who panicked and chased after her. Other side of the portal blah blah she's a human now. Nice to see that the characters have 10 fingers unlike most cartoons.
She then just enters the school which has unlocked doors which is inaccurate to real schools around this time considering this is well into the school-shooting epidemic America has resulting in buzz-in doors being a thing schools had by this point. We know psychiatry has utterly fucking failed at preventing people from killing themselves; I wonder if the total sham that it is also has something to do with childhood homicidal ideation. I believe that media and political organizations want there to be mass killings so they can conduct their psyops and spread their propaganda, making shootings a sort of business by proxy; it's not far-fetched if the psychiatric industry is also playing a role. Writing about rising suicide rates and conspiracy theories about mass killings is more fun than actually watching this movie.
This is why it's better to have your own website instead of using social media or some content platform. You think YouTube or some corpo-controlled social media platform would let me say this on a My Little Pony commentary? Even if my webhost were to kick me off, the website files are all mine and I can just switch webhosts and be back up as if nothing happened. Even better, the portability of this being a static website makes mirroring and backups extremely easy.
Upon entering the school, the bell rings and a swarm of people come out with Diamond Tiara assaulting Twilight which is pretty funny. She runs into this world's Flash Sentry. Fuck you Flash Sentry. A song starts and I don't really like it. It gives me memories of when I played that shitty corposlop MLP mobile game and I don't remember what the reward was but almost every fucking day probably multiple times a day, I would play that fucking Equestria Girls rhythm game and this was the first song in the selection screen and the easiest one I think. I have probably listened to this damn song hundreds of times and not due to me wanting to.
Twilight entering the boys bathroom was pretty funny when I watched this pre-writing. Also, gotta mention, transgender bathrooms: sexual assault can happen anywhere and nothing stops cis men from going into a women's bathroom and committing sexual assault and in fact if you count hidden cameras, cis men certainly are a bigger problem than trans people when it comes to bathrooms. Stuff regarding transgendered people in bathrooms should be up to the owners whatever property to deal with themselves, not the state. People that complain about the "heckin' tranniez in our bathroomz" sound exactly like whiney leftists complaining about the alt-right.
We then come across Fluttershy being bullied by Sunset. There's a part were Sunset says to Fluttershy "It's no wonder your best friends are all stray animals." and when I first heard this line, as Sunset saying "stray" it registered in my mind as "straight" for a moment and made me think Sunset was insulting Fluttershy for being so unappealing that her friends who would otherwise be lesbian, are straight.
Twilight confronts Sunset for being a bitch and we get this:
After Twilight and Sunset's little moment, Twilight talks to Fluttershy and Fluttershy introduces herself the same way she did in the first episode of the pony show and it is neither funny nor cute a second time. Twilight learns from Flutters what happened to the crown and we get an actually cute Flutters screenshot.
In Celestia's office we learn about the Fall Formal which is probably the equivalent of homecoming in the real world meaning this takes place in either September or October. We see Celestia mark a date on a calendar in an earlier spot which suggests taking place in early October which is when homecomings take place at the latest from what information I could find. It probably wouldn't be September since it would've had to be late in the month since early September is too early for homecoming since schools in the US start in August or September.
Celestia explains the concept of princess of the Fall Formal and tells Twilight anyone can be added to the ballot and then we get this cute Twilight:
After Celestia tells Twilight her door is always open and then closes the door, Twilight complains to Spike about being a human which another student witnesses and backs away freaked out and this was pretty funny. Twilight then decides to win the crown by becoming princess of the Fall Formal instead of just stealing it and making this movie 30 minutes shorter.
We're in the cafeteria now and notice the CMC and Big Mac are sitting towards the back and away from everyone.
After Twilight and Flutters get their food, they walk just a few steps and the next shot, the first table they pass has the CMC who are now in completely different seats. In fact, everyone's tables switched around. At least Trixie looks cute.
Fluttershy then explains the cliques of the school which reminds me of when I had my own group I was the leader of. We called ourselves The Losers since we were all outcasts and we had a sort of governmental structure with us voting on things and if there was a tie, my vote was the tie breaker. We had a specific table where we all sat and everyone sat at a specific seat with there being one guest seat. We had I think seven members and other outcasts would sometimes try to buddy with us but I was very conservative with who was allowed to join officially and we would always hold a vote. Only liked two of those fuckers. Eventually I had to leave the school and the group fell apart without me there to lead it. I wanted my right-hand to continue on in my stead as the new leader but they told me the group fell apart without me.
We then get to Pinkie Pie and at a point she asks Twilight if she has a twin sister that has a dog just like Spike showing that this world also has a Twilight and foreshadows Friendship Games. Twilight signs a thing to run as princess of the Fall Formal and we meet Applejack. After Twilight leaves, Sunset comes in being a bitch and learns Twilight's competing against her and we see Twilight's signature which looks like Gernreich.
Minutes later, we're at the school library and Cheerilee is fucking done with this shit. Just like me watching this damn movie.
Then the CMC start blasting the audio of their music video in the library pissing Cheerilee off even more. The CMC then read the comments on their video.
Twilight then proceeds to utterly fail at typing like me because I never learned how to type properly. I once had to take a mandatory typing class and I was the worst performer in the entire class. Every day, I was the last to finish the typing assignment. I was so bad and so bored in the class one time, I just started whispering "kill me" and then some dipshit tattled on me and the teacher confronted me in front of the entire class about it and she worded it like I was having suicidal ideation and I heard some girls gasp. I was then sent to the school office where they proceeded to treat me like subhuman trash as per usual. Fuck typing. I took multiple tests and the fastest I can type is 38 words per minute with 99% accuracy. I noticed that I only use my index and middle finger on my right hand and my middle finger on my left hand and rarely use my left index finger. I also exclusively use the left shift which I usually use my thumb to press. I only use my pinky fingers for backspace, enter, tab for the HTML formatting, and escape to exit Vim modes. This is how these tens of thousands of words have been typed.
Twilight and Spike then decide to trespass and sleep in the library. This school doesn't seem to have cameras everywhere unlike most schools which treat kids as subhuman dirt that must be monitored every single fucking moment because how else are the child-hating pedophiles that run the place going to get jerk-off material?
The next day, Twilight finds out she actually was recorded not by the school but people with cell phones as we already saw in that scene, an issue I discuss in Citizen-Controlled Surveillance. Also we meet this world's white one.
Haven't mentioned it yet but the Mane 6 in this world hate each other and we find out that the reason is because of a psyop conducted by Sunset. They then go to Rainbow Dash to explain the situation to her since she was also affected by the psyop. We see Applejack and Rainbow Dash in the distance talking but can't hear them while the others watch. It would be really funny if instead of hugging like they do in the movie, Rainbow Dash punched Applejack. Someone should make an edit of that.
Rainbow Dash then challenges Twilight to a 1v1 and absolutely dunks on her like how I used to dunk on kids that challenged me to a 1v1 in GTA Online.
Next scene we're at this world's Sugarcube Corner and Twilight wants oats on her drink thing which confuses this world's Mrs. Cake. I don't understand why though because oats can be an actual dessert topping. Twilight after getting her drink then bumps into Flash Sentry and spills the drink on him like he deserves. Fuck you Flash Sentry. Then Twilight catches feelings for the fucker and shows that Twilight likes boys and also has attraction to these strange humans despite them being completely alien creatures to her. Ponies canonically can fall in love with humans. Bronies with waifus have been validated.
Rarity gets the idea to unite the school to support Twilight with Wondercolts ears and tails which she states used to be popular school spirit things. Next scene, we get recycled animation from the cafeteria but we get to see an adorable Trixie!
Then a song starts. This song is actually very good and the what I think is the choreography is very good.
Cute Pinkie jumpscare:
At 44:37, the resolution drops to like 480p for the shot. This is just part of the movie as this occurred on my Blu-ray and on the downloaded YouTube video I'm using to watch as I write this. Big ups to NewPipe, Tubular, yt-dlp, and Grayjay. Want YouTube ad-free, with DRM-free downloads, and no spyware? Just use these. Derpy sighting. I actually would have missed this Derpy sighting if it weren't for some kid pointing it out in the Season 3 Comic-Con panel bonus feature.
The girls to the perception of others randomly breaking out into song reminded me of a time when I was a small child on a bus returning from a school field trip and two kids in the back just started randomly singing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons in its entirety. They sung it pretty well from what I remember and no one stopped them.
Sunset then frames Twilight for a crime she didn't commit which reminds me of all the times I faced punishment because people framed me for shit I didn't do and the fucking no-good rotten adults just fucking believed them. Remember kids, adults are not your fucking friends. It's then discovered that Twilight was framed and the photos used as evidence against her were faked and the method of faking them was gluing cutouts of her onto other pictures which should be obvious to tell. Sunset should've using image editing software to do this and printed off those pictures.
Fuck you Flash Sentry.
Something something they find out Twilight's a pony princess and fix the Fall Formal which was vandalised by Sunset. Another song starts while they clean the place and Rarity is being a bitch about getting dirty. Fuck you Flash Sentry. After the song is finished and the placed is cleaned up, we see Sunset is in the closet. Could explain a lot.
The girls then dress up for the Fall Formal and we get yet another song and a cutie pie:
At the Fall Formal, the girls arrive in a limo and I wonder whether one them paid for it or if they all contributed to a limo fund. Fuck you Flash Sentry. In the dance room, we see Scoots doing some chicken dance move and I am offended. Like genuinely, in the pony show, she is a disabled young child trying to do her best in life, earn her cutie mark, and help others get their cutie marks as will happen later in the series and people treat her like a stupid little brat unworthy of love just because she can't fly. It's fucking sickening and representative of the discrimination people face still today for shit they can't control. Maybe the reason I like her so much is because I, like her for being treated like shit by people for things she can't control pertaining to her lack of flight, have been treated like shit for shit I can't control mostly relating to my autism. You know what? Scootaloo is my autism symbol now. Fuck you and fuck the other retarded autism symbols people have come up with.
Twilight's then crowned princess of the thing and Spike's abducted and the girls chase after Spike outside where Sunset is holding a mallet to the portal. There are one of two potential problems here. One being that realistically, the mallet would just bounce off the solid stone and hurt Sunset's hands. The other being that the mallet would just go through the portal and if somehow the portal only lets Equestrians or living things in, because it's still part of Sunset's entity like her clothes which can obviously go through although removed on the other side, the mallet should still just go through whether it still exists on the other side or not. Imagine this happened and on the other side, it just comes flying out and knocks Rarity the fuck out.
Sunset gives Twilight the option to hand over the crown and she can go home or stay and Sunset destroys the portal and Twilight refuses to hand over the crown and her dialogue explaining her reasoning is unironically cool. Sunset fails the speech check and chooses to have a girl fight instead with everyone incompetently grasping for the crown. This scene would be a lot shorter if Rainbow Dash or Applejack just punched Sunset in the nose and tackled her while she was stunned. Always go for the nose if you're gonna punch someone, it hurts the most and depending on how tough they are, can stun them and fuck up their vision since even light taps to the nose can invoke tears. Never punch to the side of the head unless you know for absolute certain you can knock them out. I have been punched in the side of the head so many times throughout my life including at least one repeated pounding and not one of those times has it ever hurt and I recovered as if nothing happened.
Eventually Sunset gets the crown and puts it on and it turns her into an 8-fingered demon.
Herobrine sighting #9
You can't hide animation shortcuts from me.
Sunset then uses her new powers to turn students into demons and mindless zombies under her control not dissimilar to what schools do regardless. Also, never noticed until now that demon Sunset is fucking huge.
Sunset reveals her plan to take over Equestria with her new army of zombies which is fucking stupid. There is no way demon Sunset and at most a few hundred kids can defeat the princesses, the rest of the Mane 6, Discord if he's loyal to friendship by this point, and whoever else may decide to join the fight. Sunset is probably a smaller threat than Sombra was.
Blah blah magic friendship protects the girls from Sunset's attacks and they transform into marketable human-pony hybrids and counter attack and save the day and crap and this whole demon Sunset part of the movie was kinda cringe. Twilight wins by womansplaining to Sunset.
This looks cool. I wish I had wings.
Herobrine sighting #10
Twilight dies. The end.
RariJack fans eatin' good tonight.
Fuck you Flash Sentry.
At the end of the credits we get a Derpy sighting!
Here's the thing, I was originally going to give this 3 EV since there were some funny parts and like two of the songs were good but then realized how much I really didn't want to watch this movie again unlike the episodes that get 3 EV which I can still sit through again. And because it's much longer being a movie, the boring parts are much longer than if it were an episode. Because of this, I give this movie only 2 EV. I also originally was going to give this movie 4 VB because they chose to give Sunset a chance with friendship instead of doing whatever else they would've done. However, that fucking part with Scootaloo doing a chicken dance unironically upset me so for that alone, I am deducting 1 VB making the score of this movie 3 VB. 4 DV because of the new world and crap but it isn't that interesting.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2024-11-12/13 Published 2024-12-1