Explanations for ratings of 3 will be skipped.
Blizzard Or Bust
Rating: 2 3 3
The girls wake up exhausted because they have been studying all night because schooling, by forcing kids to study bullshit that has absolutely no relevance to life skills or anything they're actually interested in, is causing a sleep deprivation epidemic in children all so they can get into a college that will financially enslave them to debt. You know, back when I was allowed in school, I would often stay up watching ponies, watching brony crap, or listening to brony music. I remember back when I first became a brony, I had an index card to track the episode numbers as I watched them so I could watch everything in order. Watched everything on Dailymotion on my iPhone 5s. I would stay up until 01:00-03:00 and I was sleep deprived as a motherfucker. And this back when I actually tried in schooling too.
Rainbow Dash, who stayed up all night, gets the idea to fake a snow day with the girls. As they set off to do the shit, Pinkie says there's about to be a montage. Here we fucking go again. Next is a boring sequence over three minutes long of them trying to fake a snow day and at a point, Sunset is able to see the 'memories' of a snowflake because apparently nonliving things have memories now.
Herobrine sighting #84
The op fails when Cranky notices them and they are sent to detention where it's implied the water cycle is what they're studying. That is primary school shit; what the fuck are they learning about it as high-schoolers for? Do they think they're that stupid? Oh, it's a school, of course they do.
Montage shit was boring so 2 EV.
Saving Pinkie's Pies
Rating: 4 3 3
Sunset and Pinkie are baking a thing and have to get it to Rarity in time. They have seven minutes at 1:13. They set off but there's a snowball war right outside of Pinkie's house. While traversing the battlefield, Fluttershy has a flashback.
It was this moment everything flashed before Fluttershy's eyes. All her atrocities, the people she killed, the victories she celebrated. All of it came back to her in an instant. Until now, she had been living the normal life of any girl her age should but she knew deep down she could never truly live that life. Only few knew she had fought in the war as just a little girl. She possessed abilities no person should so the army took interest in her, studied her, and made the decision she was capable of fighting. She was not just a soldier to them but a weapon, a highly effective weapon that just may have been the reason they won the war. However, even though she had felt no guilt in her duty, that changed after being reunited with her friends and meeting Sunset Shimmer and that Twilight Sparkle from Equestria. Ever since then, she has been having flashes of her memories of all the death she wrought, previously remembered as simply doing her duty, now slowly started to prick her with a sense something about her actions was wrong. As time went on and her friendships strengthened, this feeling got to the point she realized something. She realized all the people she killed, they all lived lives just as worthy of living as hers. They all had friends, families, a sense of community, of duty. The same thing Fluttershy lives her life for. She'd die for her friends should the need arise. She'd sacrifice herself if it meant the world would become just a little more peaceful. And it was then she realized, why does she get to continue on living, enjoying the warm love of her friends while all the people she killed don't? How are they any different than her? Why is she revered as a hero when she has taken away so much life and love from this world? She understood she was undeserving of forgiveness. How could she of all people be a representation of friendship? Filled with this guilt, she turned herself in to be court marshaled. However, she had committed no crime of war. It didn't matter she had killed so many and torn so many friends and families from those they loved; she operated within the rulebook of war and would face no judgement for her actions. She felt helpless to the guilt that strangled her. But the flash, even though it had felt like an eternity, subsided and Fluttershy could once again feel her body and mind. She understood she could not go back and prevent what happened, that she would not be judged for her sins. However, as her mind cleared, she realized her duty. She was alive, she was strong, and she had friends who depended on her and she on them. Together, they represented friendship, peace, and harmony. Together, they would ensure the pain of war would never envelop this world again. She knew her purpose now. She had to go on and with her friends by her side, nothing was impossible. The pain her soul carried would no longer hold her down with regret; instead, she would use it as her fire to fight the evils and corruption of the world to make it so no one would ever have to live her pain. Her mind fully cleared and she stood up, looking towards her friends and promised herself she would dedicate her life to spreading love, to harnessing the strength of friendship, and healing the world for she is Fluttershy and her mission had begun.
Trixie freezes to death and then there's some slow motion thing I'm pretty sure is a reference to Saving Private Ryan which feels kinda weird. I know in that movie or whichever movies this trope is done in, it's supposed to be a completely serious representation of the stress and horror of war and shit but seeing it parodied in this little girl show feels kinda weird. Not like "it's wrong" weird (you should already know I'm perfectly fine with making fun of war, death, PTSD, and shit) but more of a sense it's not something you can really parody in a kid's show and not have it feel like there's just a hint of disrespect in it. Not that I give a shit myself but I sense it's there.
Sunset takes command and makes Flash Sentry her bitch and makes him sacrifice himself for her and Pinkie and he gladly gives his life for a woman who doesn't give a shit about him. Fuck you Flash Sentry. Then Sunset gets hit and dies.
The timer rings at 6:22 which is not seven minutes later and Rarity shows up and eats the thing. Rainbow Dash then pops out of a snowman to sneak attack Rarity but she blocks Rainbow Dash's snowballs with her shield power. Couldn't Rainbow Dash just use her super speed to run behind Rarity and hit her before she can even react? Unless Rarity uses a completely encompassing shield, Rainbow Dash's power could easily bypass hers.
Snowball war part is pretty amusing, getting it 4 EV.
The Cider Louse Fools
Rating: 3 3 3
The Apple family's trying to throw a party but the Flim Flam brothers have been fucking with them throughout the years which includes committing actual crimes of theft, destruction of property, and trespassing. Instead of shooting them or having the police help, Applejack decides to lay traps so they can't fuck with her and Twi helps by coming up with an overly complicated plan like the annoying uppity intellectual she is. Boring sequence of their setting up the traps.
After everything's set up, Twi explains she plans to con them by selling them fake cider for a diamond. So you know, Twi's having the Apple family commit fraud now. Then it turns out the Flim Flam brothers duped their dupery but Twi duped their dupery. Flim Flam dab:
Aww hell nah, they doin' the anime shit in Equestria Girls.
Winter Break-In
Rating: 3 3 3
The girls, like the Mary Sues they are, will be donating a bunch of toys to kids. They're being kept in Sunset's storage locker which she states she's been paying for each month despite never using it. I actually wonder if Sunset lived in it before she had the money for her apartment. Why the fuck else would she have one? Hell, maybe she keeps paying for it to keep it as a fallback in case she loses her apartment for either lacking documents or having fake ones or something. Although, I'm sure one of the girls could let her live with them should the need arise.
Turns out Sunset doesn't have the key because she gave it to Pinkie and the key was passed around until it arrived back at Sunset who forgot it in her school locker. Okay but why did she give it to Pinkie in the first place? They go to get the key but the school's closed so they devise a bunch of ways to break in. Twi then calls Celestia and asks her to let them in which she does.
Dashing Through The Mall
Rating: 4 3 3
We start off with Lyra being fruity with Bon Bon and Juniper's no longer a femcel.
After seeing more probably couples give gifts to each other, mocking all the bronies in the audience, Rainbow Dash arrives late to something the girls are doing because she doesn't check her texts. Perhaps she's a fellow notification hater? It then just turns into Best Gift Ever and everyone's supposed to exchange gifts and crap but Rainbow Dash forgot to get one so she has to fuck off to find one. As she does, we see Bulk and Derpy.
We learn Flutters is Rainbow Dash's giftee and after seeing the store lines are too long, Zephyr offers her to cut the line in the store he works at. She pretends to be nice to Zephyr to get Fluttershy her gift and says to herself "You gotta be nice, but only because you love Fluttershy.". I see the waiter has brought out us FlutterDash fans the gourmet selection. Then we get this image:
They dick around until Rainbow Dash settles on an instant camera. Now I know I've stated people should use dedicated cameras if they care about photos instead of their phone's camera but an instant camera within a low price range still isn't going to compare to even a mid-end phone camera. Rainbow Dash gives it to Flutters and she loves it and has two now.
Zephyr's pretty funny so 4 EV.
O' Come, All Ye Squashful
Rating: 3 3 3
Derpy and Bulk:
Applejack wants the girls to do a stupid photo thing with her. It sucks.
Post-Equestria Girls Notes
Sometime during the period of working on these, I came to the opinion Sunset and Twi are pretty much the only actual characters in Equestria Girls. Sunset and Twi are the only ones who have any semblance of a character arc that actually matters. The other five girls are pretty much just shallower versions of their pony counterparts. We never really learn their aspirations, dreams, or anything so they just feel like blank characters with the personalities of the pony show characters. Hell, they don't even have any faults other than generic shit like Rainbow Dash is full of herself and Fluttershy is shy, just copying basic shit from their pony versions where at least in the pony show, they face consequences for their faults and get better with them over time, creating at least some semblance of character development.
Upon coming to these opinions, I realized Equestria Girls would be just fine if Sunset were the only main character and the others were just minor characters or hell, if it wasn't even an MLP series as Sunset is the foundation of Equestria Girls, not the Mane 6 counterparts. Even if Equestria Girls had to be MLP-related, I think perhaps a better way the series could've been set up to make the other girls actually have any substance to their characters would be to remove Twilight from Equestria from the first movie and instead have the characters come together themselves throughout the movie, accept each other's faults and shit like that, and then confront Sunset, having learned the magic of friendship and starting Sunset's redemption. Maybe you could somehow fit in the connection between the EG world and Equestria but something different should've been done at the start I believe.
Despite the perhaps low ratings, I still like Equestria Girls and I really wish they would've given it a proper ending. Many of us already know about the concept of the special where Sunset meets her EG world counterpart and a lot believe that could've been a good finale but I believe a better finale could've been the girls' graduation together from high school and show what they'll be doing now that they've graduated and have a whole thing about how despite the fact they're no longer going to school together, they stay friends despite what different paths they take in life. Like fuck, that seems like such a beautiful ending. And hell, even though I do believe the pony show had to end, I wanted EG to go on and felt if they were going to cling to Gen 4, this would be how to do it but no, they canceled Equestria Girls and we got fucking Pony Life.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-13 Published 2025-6-1