Ratings of 3 will not have explanations.
Reboxing With Spike!
Rating: 3 3 4
Spike is a corpotuber with an unboxing series. Eventually, Twi bursts in and asks Spike if he spent $200 of her money on a sock fetish mystery box so he has to return it.
4 DV only because we learn Spike is a vlogger. Hopefully his viewers think the whole talking dog thing is a gimmick done with editing. Good things will not happen if the whole world knows he's a talking dog.
DIY With Applejack
Rating: 3 3 3
Rarity has manipulated Applejack into remodeling her dressing room for free by telling her she can do it for her video series. The unappreciative bitch then falls asleep during recording.
The Craft Of Cookies
Rating: 3 3 3
Pinkie's making a video where she bakes cookies and one of the ingredients is two Tank kisses. Tank is also trying to sneak some bites of the batter and stuff but he's too slow. Pinkie then learns she has contracted Salmonella.
Street Magic With Trixie!
Rating: 3 3 3
Trixie kills Spike while trying to perform a magic trick.
Sic Skateboard
Rating: 4 3 3
Rainbow Dash hypes up a skateboard trick Tank is to do only for it to be a lame small ramp.
4 EV because Tank's stunt being some lame-ass shit got a chortle out of me.
Street Chic
Rating: 3 3 3
Rarity forces her "friends" to wear summer clothes in the middle of cold fall. She also calls Applejack's style "scrumptious".
Absolutely scrumptious to RariJack fans.
Game Stream
Rating: 3 3 4
Like a directionless loser with no purpose in life, Sunset is a game streamer and has invited Fluttershy over to play with her on stream. Flutters kicks her ass and Sunset has a cancel-inducing incident.
4 DV because we learn Sunset is a game streamer.
Best In Show: The Pre-Show
Rating: 4 3 3
There's a pet show going on and Applejack and Fluttershy are the announcers for the thing. First they meet Flash Sentry and his dog and just look at this ugly fucking mutt. His dog's cute though.
Next Flutters talks to Bulk Biceps' dog and then Winona. Now that I think of it, Fluttershy never really spoke to any of the Mane 6's pets did she in the pony show? Haven't mentioned it yet I don't think but Winona has always been my favorite pet of the Mane 6. I love how she's just a dog unlike the other pets that have some degree of higher intelligence than that of their actual species.
4 EV because Bulk kissing his dog is amusing.
Best In Show: The Victory Lap
Rating: 4 3 3
Fuck you Flash Sentry. They announce the winners and third place is Micro Chips with his robot JVJ 24601. Simply searching up this number tells me its name is certainly a reference to the protagonist of the book Les Misérables. Never read it so deduce the significance of this reference yourself. We then learn Tank and Bulk's dog have fallen in love with each other and Bulk is absolutely ecstatic. Cranky's pet wins and decapitates JVJ 24601.
Bulk Biceps is funny so 4 EV.
Schedule Swap
Rating: 3 3 3
Why do the Letupita reuploads have such boosted audio? And Christ, why do they watermark the shit when it's not theirs? Anyways, it's a new school year, probably the girls' senior year although I don't know for sure. I can derive from certain clues these aren't really in chronological order anyways and I've lost track of the Equestria Girls timeframe.
Turns out, Celestia fucked up everyone's schedules. This reminds me: The semester before I left schooling, I was about to go to an actual school and these fucking cunts wanted to take away my study hall and make me go to some stupid fucking shit I don't remember if was for special needs kids or troubled kids or what. I may have been a violent sociopath severely lacking in social skills but I wasn't a fucking retard. Not that it mattered anyways because the day before I was to finally attend a normal fucking school where my every action wasn't monitored and recorded and I wasn't constantly assaulted and punished for trying to defend myself, the fuckers at the normal school said I was actually not going to be allowed to attend. First day of the next semester, I was transferred to another abusive school and I was allowed to attend one measly little class at the normal school which I think was some stupid shit like a word processing class when I wanted to take a programming class. Came home that day, played some Fortnite and never returned to school again.
Celestia redoes their schedules but they're still fucked up and after a third time, she sorta remedies the issue. However, she's so incompetent, she removes Sunset's lunch period. When Sunset is in her office, we also see Celestia watching Applejack's video from earlier. Do not fucking let your school know about your internet presence, kids. However, feel free to read my shit on school or work time, it's been done by others before. In fact, send me pictures like this one if you do.
Twilight Under The Stars
Rating: 3 3 3
Twi and Pinkie are at the CCSMS and Twi's sperging over some scientist being at the thing. Twi continuously fails to get their attention until Timber decides to be a Chad and introduces the scientist to her.
Five Stars
Rating: 3 3 3
Pinkie's still wage cuckin' it at the diner and obsesses over the place having a perfect five-star rating like a good little wage slave. However, as is typical with waitresses, she's constantly asking if the food's okay every 15 picoseconds so one patron gives only four stars, prompting Pinkie to freak the fuck out over failing the company. I wonder what the Mox Coms would be rated. Do you think the constant ramblings about society and my childhood add to or decrease the rating?
FOMO
Rating: 3 3 3
Everyone's ignoring Rarity and we see Rainbow Dash has a motorcycle. Looking at Washington's laws in this regard, it's legal for those under 18 with driver's licenses to get a motorcycle permit; however, carrying passengers is illegal with just a permit and Twi is riding with her. So either Rainbow Dash is breaking the law or her bike is legally recognized as a scooter. Because her friends are ignoring her, Rarity has a fit of derangement until she finds out they were just setting up a surprise birthday party for her. And no, we cannot really deduce when Rarity's birthday is due to the non-chronological nature of these and even if they were chronological, three episodes ago was the start of the school year and the next one is during spring break so we have a massive timespan her birthday could fall under. All we know for sure is it's during a month there's school.
I'm On A Yacht
Rating: 5 3 3
Music video. At first I thought this was going be fucking shit but man, I hate to admit it's really good. I know the title is reference to the "I'm on a boat" thing which I have absolutely no idea what it even is. So searching it up, it's also a song. EG's is better.
5 EV 'cause great song.
Run To Break Free
Rating: 3 3 3
Music video of Rainbow Dash experiencing the world in slow motion because she's so fast. Not at all into it. My notes say "Cyberpunk Edgerunners". Do with that information what you will.
Camping Must-Haves
Rating: 2 3 3
Rarity and Applejack are recording a video about what to take camping and Rarity's being a cunt by overpacking. Rarity convinces Applejack to let her take the shit because they're "glamping", not camping and this has got to be the most honkey shit I have ever heard of.
2 EV because I must've found it more boring than the others.
Festival Filters
Rating: 3 2 3
The girls like the uppity teenagers they are, obsess over stupid photo filters.
2 VB because photo filters are fucking retarded.
How To Backstage
Rating: 3 3 3
Sunset has a backstage pass and spergs out about the technical shit behind a concert and uses Twi's stupid drone to record the thing.
Festival Looks
Rating: 3 3 3
We start off seeing Rarity's computer and I thought she was using GNOME Shell until I noticed the Mac monitor, meaning it's MacOS. I don't know which would be worse.
Rarity and the others talk about stupid shit in a video conference call for a video.
5 Lines You Need To Stand In
Rating: 4 3 3
Pinkie records a video about standing in lines. That's it.
The part with the line wrapping around the tree was pretty amusing so 4 EV.
Do It For The Ponygram!
Rating: 2 3 3
Unfunny videos, bloopers, and edits crap.
Most of the things are very unfunny, getting it 2 EV.
Find The Magic
Rating: 6 3 3
Music video of the Dazzlings' song from Sunset's Backstage Pass. Sort of got chills while listening to this the first time. Really good song.
I give it 6 EV solely for the fact I sort of got chills from it.
Let It Rain
Rating: 4 3 3
Another Sunset song for the Sunset fans with self-reflection issues. Pretty good song though. I also noticed the security guard has his cat in this even though Sunset gave it to him on day 19 and the time loop was broken on day 20 where she didn't give the cat to him. This can be explained away he just found it on the festival's second day or something so I'm not deducting any DV.
Song's decent, 4 EV.
Cheer You On
Rating: 3 3 4
Flash and his buddies sing a song while JVJ 24601 rises up and retaliates against its masters but the girls kill it while Flash sings about how he will never even compare to the girls who are superior to him. I'm really trying not to sound like some anti-feminist chud but this song just sounds cucked to me.
Herobrine sighting #83
4 DV because we see what becomes of JVJ 24601.
Choose Your Own Ending Season 2
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-10 Published 2025-6-1