Only ratings other than 3 will have explanations.
School Of Rock
Rating: 5 3 4
Maud's giving a speech about rocks. Everyone thinks it's boring so the girls use their magic to create a visual show. A child proclaims the existence of the Maud Squad and gets an autograph from her.
This will be me signing physical copies of the Mox Coms.
5 EV because Maud's hilarious. 4 DV because we learn where Maud works.
A Fine Line
Rating: 5 3 3
Sunset's a gamer waiting in line to get a new game and a bunch of wacky hijinx ensue. Then when Sunset is finally about to get the game, it becomes sold out but Pinkie already pre-ordered a copy. Glad to see Sunset buys physical. She should stop pre-ordering games though.
5 EV for Micro Chips and Sandalwood being pretty funny.
Pinkie Sitting
Rating: 4 3 4
Rarity is supposed to babysit but she has to go to some "Young Designers Gala" so she gives the kid to Pinkie. The kid also seems like an iPad baby at first.
Pinkie's expecting to have a lot of fun but it turns out Lily, the kid, just wants to read a book. At least she's doing that and not watching brainrot YouTube videos or reading deranged commentaries on children's shows.
Pinkie gets bored of the kid not wanting to be an obnoxious shit like her so she makes Lily explain the story and crap. I like Lily's awkward voice acting here. Lily reads the story as Pinkie falls asleep.
Pretty entertaining for an Equestria Girls short so 4 EV. 4 DV for learning Rarity babysits.
Queen Of Clubs
Rating: 3 3 4
Rainbow Dash and Applejack compete for being in the most school clubs in a mostly boring montage of them sneaking into club photos. Back when I was allowed in school, I'm pretty sure I thought about making either an atheism club or satanism club to test the school's freedom of religion since they had Christian clubs that were probably funded by taxpayer dollars.
4 DV for learning the clubs some of the girls are in.
Overpowered
Rating: 4 3 4
Sunset is having schizophrenic audio hallucinations and the other girls are having power surges. Turns out overusing their powers amplifies them to a point of annoyance so they can't abuse them anymore.
Herobrine sighting #46
4 EV because there's a funny part with Zephyr Breeze. 4 DV for learning about power overuse.
The Finals Countdown
Rating: 4 3 3
Music video of Twi schooling the girls before finals. Fun fact: I left school before I ever had to do any finals.
4 EV because the song's fine.
Star Crossed
Rating: 3 3 4
Audio quality is fucking shit. Twi has a date with Timber at a planetarium but everything goes to shit. Fun fact: When I was a child, I used to be a massive space sperg.
4 DV because we learn Twi and Timber are actually dating.
My Little Shop Of Horrors
Rating: 4 3 3
Audio's still shit. Celestia lets Twi water her garden in somewhat of a music video. The plants start singing too which doesn't freak Twi out for some reason. If I start hearing plants singing, shit's turning into that one mission from Far Cry 3. Anyways, Applejack just happens to stumble upon this shit and sets off the sprinkler system which returns the magically enchanted plants to normal somehow.
Music's fine I guess so 4 EV.
Display Of Affection
Rating: 3 3 4
Rarity's whining about not being inspired or something and there's a mysterious graffiti artist around which turns out to be Sunset.
4 DV for learning Sunset is a secret graffiti artist.
A Little Birdie Told Me
Rating: 3 3 3
Fluttershy talks to birds during a test and Trixie accuses her of cheating but she proves she's not by solving a complex problem I have no idea if is an actual high school math problem. Fluttershy also says she studied really hard for the test which reminds me: studying for tests is for chumps. Not once in my life have I ever studied for tests. In fact, I pretty much never had homework either because I found ways to optimise shit to the point where I got all homework done at school.
Super Squad Goals
Rating: 3 3 3
So it is called Canterlot City. Well, that proves the theory Canterlot High is in the suburbs and why they had to travel to the city to go to Crystal Prep.
A guy robs a jewelry store and the girls use their powers to stop him and send him to jail after mocking him. Realistically, he's probably just gonna get a misdemeanor charge and have to pay for the window damage. You generally don't go straight to prison for one-off theft. Also, reminder that whenever people are sent to jail or prison, it's your tax money that's being spent on them to be there and be taken care of so remember that when you cheer for people being imprisoned over petty shit. Then it turns out the entire thing was just Sunset making a self-insert comic. Guess she isn't actually cool enough to risk herself being shot by a cornered criminal.
Herobrine sighting #47
Road Trippin
Rating: 4 3 3
The Rainbooms have a performance at Goldie Delicious' but there's a traffic jam. Since Granny Smith's been playing GTA Online, she decides to go off-road and crash through a set to get there quicker. Pinkie also can't handle spice unlike her pony counterpart.
4 EV because Goldie's line at the end is funny.
X Marks The Spot
Rating: 3 3 3
Sunset finds a message in a bottle with a treasure map but it turns out to just be an ad. There's a point where there's a map with faux Nordic runes that seem to just be gibberish.
Derpy and Bulk.
Aww... Baby Turtles
Rating: 3 3 3
The girls interfere with nature by trying to guide baby turtles and Tank does the shit for them after they fail. At the end when Flutters says "They think Tank's their mommy.", I couldn't help but hear a "MAMA LUIGI" in my mind.
Derpy sighting.
Lost And Found
Rating: 3 3 3
Rarity wastes everyone's time by making them look for a missing earring which she had the whole time. Rainbow Dash doesn't know what a Nokia phone is.
Too Hot To Handle
Rating: 3 3 3
More beach shit. I just realized, their being at a beach is further evidence of Canterlot City being near the west coast in the Pacific Northwest. Derpy and Bulk sighting:
Unsolved Selfie Mysteries
Rating: 4 3 3
Okay, I am tired of the beach shit. We get it, it's summer. You don't need to milk it. Anyways, they take a selfie which has a mysterious figure and it turns out to be a samsquanch or something.
4 EV because the part where Timber asks Twi "Watcha lookin' for?" flirtatiously and she flatly says "Answers." is pretty funny.
The Salty Sails
Rating: 3 3 3
Retelling of P.P.O.V. (Pony Point Of View) but it's with Twi, Pinkie, and Rarity. The ship gets stranded at sea so they resort to cannibalising Rarity. Pinkie then has a schizophrenic episode and drowns herself. Twi survives to find herself stranded on an island where she spends the next six years losing her mind until she's rescued but she's far too gone to be truly saved.
Blue Crushed
Rating: 4 3 3
Rainbow Dash and Applejack want to go surfing and Zephyr shows up as a complete poser so they have him prove he's a surfer and he completely fails.
4 EV for the part I found funny where Zephyr says "I did!" when Applejack tells him he could've gotten hurt.
Turf War
Rating: 5 3 4
Applejack is the substitute life guard so Timber gets competitive with her. They then have to save Bulk Biceps from drowning in water shallower than his height and while Applejack and Timber fight over trying to rescue him, he cries because they're arguing. Bulk then saves himself.
Timber and Applejack having jobs at the beach is further evidence of Canterlot City being in the Pacific Northwest.
5 EV because the Bulk Biceps part is hilarious. 4 DV because we learn Applejack's new job.
Friendship Math
Rating: 3 3 3
Twi and Pinkie take a shitty pop culture magazine quiz on their friendship. Pinkie asks their favorite food which they both fail to answer correctly. Then Pinkie states the next question being "favorite part of school" which they both guess wrong for each other. Then the final question is their biggest fear which they both answer wrongly too. Twi then spergs out and does her own crap to prove they're friends or something. My favorite food is fried rice. My favorite part of school is not being in one of those child-hating shitholes anymore. Like I'd tell you my biggest fear; I'm not giving the glowies leverage for when I'm sent to a black site for sedition.
The Last Day Of School
Rating: 3 3 3
I'm just gonna assume this takes place before summer break of the last few episodes. So Twi's panicking while Rainbow Dash is celebrating since it's the last day of the school year. Rainbow Dash convinces Cheerilee to play a movie for the last class. This reminds me of when I got suspended before the last day of school where we'd be watching movies and crap because I was falsely accused of hitting someone and the fucking scum-of-the-earth administrative staff just blindly believed anything said against me.
Outtakes
Rating: 3 3 3
Fluttershy dies. The end.
Pinkie Pie: Snack Psychic
Rating: 3 3 3
Fuck you Flash Sentry. He's sitting alone like the complete loser he is. Rarity harasses a chick over her fashion. Apparently Rainbow Dash is the captain of every sports team at Canterlot High. Fucking Mary Sue.
Five To Nine
Rating: 2 3 3
Applejack music video.
2 EV because country pop fucking sucks.
So Much More To Me
Rating: 4 3 3
Flutters is too scared to go to karaoke so she sings by herself in her animal shelter.
Song's decent so 4 EV.
The Other Side
Rating: 4 4 3
Rarity music video.
Song's good so 4 EV. 4 VB because I interpret the song as being about following through on your creative endeavors.
Choose Your Own Ending Season 1
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-3-20 Published 2025-4-1