Preface
This article was originally written almost a year before publication. I initially scrapped it because I had already discussed the topic briefly in other articles and I prefer to avoid writing about things I've already discussed but finding it again and reading it, I believe it still has value. Before reading, I suggest you read Rights Don't Stop Bullets to learn why I say gay freedom and not gay rights.
Acceptance Isn't Freedom
I know the title of this article probably sounds wacky but for a long time, I've had this thought that the fight for gay freedoms could've benefited us all and help limit the powers of the government but instead it has only strengthened the status quo of government regulation.
I support the freedom of gay people and pretty much have my entire sapient life but I believe the fight for gay freedom while technically succeeding, is succeeding in the wrong way. The core of why I believe this lies in my nihilistic view towards legality. The topic of gay marriage in particular is the best example to get my point across. Marriage is a social/legal construct and something that doesn't actually exist, just being something that's memetically accepted as being "real". This is where I think the fight for gay "rights" has failed us all.
Years ago in the US, it was decided that gay marriage would be legal at the federal level whereas beforehand, whether or not gay couples could get married was determined at a state level. This is the turning point where I believe gay people could've caused a societal change in people's perception of government involvement in these things. Instead of fighting for the legalization of gay marriage, I believe the fight should've been the rejection of government involvement in marriage and therefore their involvement in other legal constructs. The fight for and success of the legalization of gay marriage reinforced the government's control over these matters and ultimately, instead of gay people obtaining freedom, they have only obtained acceptance, an illusion of freedom.
This brings me to my next point. The acceptance of gay people does not equate to actual freedom. Sure, in a lot of countries, gay people now have the same "rights" as everyone else but these "rights" are still regulated to high hell. I often imagine a world where instead of fighting for the legalization of gay marriage, instead gay people rejected the government's acceptance of gay marriage whether legal or not and got married on their owns terms. If someone's religious, the officiality of the marriage by their religion is usually perceived as more important than the government's recognition anyways so it's not like there would even be any cultural upsets if legality were rejected. I often wonder if the US's federal legality of gay marriage were to have been denied, maybe this could have set us towards the path of rejecting the government's involvement in marriage. However, I know the majority of people regardless of cause care more about legality and acceptance than actual liberation.
Common law marriage has also been eroded by many governments, resulting in the government having a monopoly on marriage. This degrades freedom of marriage regardless of sexuality. And let's not forget that many countries require you have a marriage license or certificate to become married which means you pretty much have to ask the government for permission to be married. And as stated in Real Names Don't Exist, these "official" documents are just pieces of paper that state some made-up construct is true. They are viewed as essentially being magical scrolls which determine reality.
The attempts at legalizing and even mandating discrimination against transgender people I believe may also be partly to blame on the fight for gay "rights'" focus on legality. Because of the faith in the government's ability to regulate these kinds of things, that applies to when they take away "rights". Nowadays, there are attempts by governments trying to regulate what transgender people can do and it seems like the fight for transgender freedoms, as opposed to gay people who were fighting for more "rights" and not really fighting against the taking away of their freedoms, is actively dealing with governments trying to reduce their freedom and not just prevent further increases in their freedom.
Because people chose to have faith in regulation and are in actuality fighting for acceptance and not freedom, they've allowed the government to determine what they may do. I believe gay people had the opportunity to be trailblazers rejecting and stopping the government's control over many aspects of society and our lives but instead, the government's power has only been strengthened by these movements.
Written 2025-7-17 Published 2026-7-1