EP 8: Just For Sidekicks
Rating: 4 3 3
We start with a series of pictures explaining what happened to the baby phoenix Spike rescued in the previous season which I'm glad they showed since it explains why the phoenix never showed up again after Dragon Quest despite it being implied it would stay with Spike. We then see Spike is making a gem cake but he keeps eating the gems until he runs out. Just like me with raw batter.
Fluttershy comes by and explains about the Equestria Games and how the ponies need to go to the Crystal Empire. Flutters then offers Spike a gem for watching Angel while she's in the Crystal Empire to which he accepts.
Spike then develops a scheme to get the other ponies to pay him for watching their pets. The children want work but we deny them the mines. We force them through education but with not such a dime. They graduate high, best of their class but at the end of the day, they have nothing on which to dine. Please oh please, the children yearn for the mines.
During Rarity's explanations to Spike about Opal's needs, she explains that the room must be 81.4 degrees fahrenheit which is fucking blazing and means ponies prefer fahrenheit over celsius. Opal then smacks Tank and decides she likes him.
When the ponies leave, everything goes to shit and Angel runs away. Spike and the animals find him at the CMC clubhouse and Spike gets the idea to let the CMC take care of the animals for him but they want to try getting their cutie marks in skydiving. Spike manipulates them into doing his labor. The CMC actually caring about the animals ask Spike about providing for the pets' needs and mention that they will need to buy stuff and they haggle a gem out of him.
Spike returns find that the animals destroyed the CMC clubhouse and when Spike takes the animals back, he tells the CMC to also give his gem back but they already spent it in an industrial pet hair drier and if one little gem can buy this, the Equestrian economy must be strong.
Next we see Screwloose looking at butterflies and I just really like this screenshot. Just seeing Screwloose absorb the beauty of nature, being able to look outside not trapped in a psychiatric prison enthrals me. Also Big Mac and Cheerilee are hanging out together.
And then Spike with the animals ruins the tranquility possibly causing Screwloose to have some sort of episode with the barking Winona. Zecora then scams Spike out of a gem to give it to charity.
Then after bribing Granny Smith to overlook his transgressions, we see what the CMC meant by skydiving:
Spike then abducts the CMC and makes them get on a train with him because Angel ran onto it. The train sets off to the Crystal Empire with Spike, the pets, and the CMC on board. We see that the Crystal Empire outside the city is still in snowcover which suggests the Crystal Empire is in permanent tundra. They arrive in the Crystal Empire and the CMC want to look around but Spike won't let them so they convince him to let them through the hard way. It's also amusing how Scoots flinches when her feather is plucked.
The Mane 6 then board the train their on. Angel is about to alert the Mane 6 to everyone's presence until Spike apologizes for being a cunt and Angel decides to maintain the cover until Ponyville where they jump out and pretend nothing is wrong and the episode ends. Also a nice detail is how everyone is heavily breathing after running and jumping to escape the train.
It was another alright episode full of shenanigans to keep me entertained so it gets 4 EV. Nothing I vibe with so 3 VB. I also kinda find it funny how Spike pretty much just gets away with everything. Doesn't add VB though. 3 DV because nothing interesting happens in terms of development other than mention of the Equestria Games but we don't know the show is actually going somewhere with that yet.
EP 9: Apple Family Reunion
Rating: 4 4 4
We start this episode with Granny stating it's been "100 moons" since the last family reunion which marks the beginning of the months to moons retcon. It's also possible that the Equestrian Calendar switched from months to moons but seeing as Granny Smith is saying moons instead of months, it points more towards it being a retcon since most old people would be refusing to ascribe to the modern era and she'd likely have a hard time moving past the old calendar. We also learn Babs is coming to the family reunion.
Granny states that there's been an Apple family reunion every 100 moons since the founding of Ponyville which means there's been maybe 6-8 family reunions so far depending on how old Granny Smith was at the founding of Ponyville and how old she is now.
At a point Granny mentions how the whole family's joining this reunion and two comets fly by as Applejack is looking outside. These are confirmed to be symbolic of Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac's parents. This knowledge really gives this moment a different feel.
Applejack decides to be the organizer of this reunion. Later in her room, Apple Bloom comes in and we then get this:
When Applejack gets up, she skips over to a planning board and it's pretty cute.
The family reunion then starts. I have only ever been to one family reunion when I was a small child. All I remember is getting into an atheism debate with some kid, vomiting in the bathroom at a certain point, and a point where I asked the family member I was there with whether the one dog there was a boy or girl and they told me to "reach down and check". I refused to check. I think it was a boy though. I also remember at a point the dog jumped in a lake and people laughed I think. I didn't know anyone at all there.
Apple Bloom and Babs then see each other and want to talk but Applejack is a cunt makes them go do some stupid race activity. Typing that just gave me dream déjà vu. Then Applejack makes the old ponies use loud sewing machines to make a quilt that's been worked on each reunion instead of sewing by hoof as is tradition. Applejack then harasses some ponies into making food faster. Applejack then harasses Apple Bloom and Babs into doing some whack-ass wagon ride thing.
She schemin'.
The whack-ass wagon ride's revealed to be for a fruit bat display but it goes to shit and the fruit bats attack the ponies. The ponies bail from the wagon and it crashes into the Apple family's I think house the barn building is. Applejack then rightfully feels bad about everything because she's been a complete cunt this episode. Then we get a song and they rebuild the house barn thing. I don't how to explain it but structurally, I can tell it's a very decent if not good song but I just do not like the style. It's rebuilt and the episode ends with two comets.
Yet another one of the decent episodes that gets 4 EV. It gets 4 VB for the message of just letting people enjoy time together instead of making them do retarded activities. 4 DV because we get to see relatives of the Apple family and Babs returns.
EP 10: Spike At Your Service
Rating: 3 3 3
We start with Spike counting a stack of 12 books. I was going to make another joke about the length of these commentaries but that wouldn't've been funny a second time. I really didn't intend for these to be so long and in fact, I thought I would only need one page per season but here we are already as long as a novella. Twilight also has to read all 12 of those books in a weekend. I think the most I've ever read in a day, or night in my case was maybe 40,000-60,000 words when I read through Background Pony. I've actually thought about reading through it again and providing commentaries on it. Perhaps I should be a literary commentator on MLP fanfiction as I could provide pseudointellectual insight without being tainted by crap like references, fannon crap, and other autistic appeals that enamors most fanfic readers for some reason. In fact, because I'm not learned in the literary arts, I could focus on commentating on the actual substance of material instead of being an uppity cunt about theory bullshit like writing style or arbitrary literary elements that I would assume school teachers and college professors make students study.
In the actual episode, Spike after setting a hot air ballon free and chasing it, manages to grab onto it and ends up in the Everfree. He then gets attacked by CG timberwolves that clash with the 2D art style of the show and it's just as jarring as when 2D anime uses CG. Applejack saves him and he decides to be her slave because of the 'dragon code' which is literally just the plot of a Phineas and Ferb episode. Spike also burps up a card showing the dragon code then burns it back away which suggests he has somewhere either a pocket dimension or some sort of space he can just keep things to summon.
At a point they go to Rarity's to bring her a pie Spike baked and she states how she wishes she had someone forever in her debt, a slave. Rainbow Dash then comes through the window and when the situation is explained to her, she mentions she's writing a novel about an "awesome pegasus who's the best flyer ever and becomes the captain of the Wonderbolts". Rainbow Dash writes self-insert Mary Sue stories.
More Spike slavery ensues with him doing hard labor building a rock tower for Rainbow Dash to smash through and after she does smash through it, Spike wants to do more slave work. Now, I would mention the mines but children should be compensated for their hard work, earning the same as an adult would and minimum wage laws that allow workers under 18 to be payed less should be completely fucking abolished.
DeviantArt Applejack:
Applejack confronts Twilight about the situation and the Mane 6 devise a plan to make Spike save Applejack so he no longer has to be her slave. Spike sees through it and the plan fails but then actual timberwolves attack but Applejack kills them and then actually gets stuck. The timberwolves regenerate into one big timberwolf which makes me think timberwolves are unliving magical entities that are made instead of born somehow perhaps as guardians of something in the Everfree or perhaps the Everfree itself and their creator is long gone, leaving these wooden golem entities free to roam.
Spike then kills the timberwolf and saves Applejack and the dragon code is rendered null.
Very predictable episode. Not at all interesting considering that fact and there's no funny moments that I remember so it only gets 3 EV. 3 VB because there is nothing I vibe with. 3 DV because nothing interesting happens in terms of development.
EP 11: Keep Calm And Flutter On
Rating: 5 4 4
Celestia brings stone-encased Discord and tells the ponies to free him and make him good. After the theme song, there's a loud chime in the right audio channel that exists for seemingly no reason possibly being an audio error. She presents the Elements to be used to free him and states they have a spell that prevents Discord from stealing them again and then just leaves the ponies alone with Discord.
When Discord is freed, he reveals that he can hear everything while in stone. This means that he was probably aware the over 1000 years he was encased in stone. Even if only this time being turned to stone he was aware, that's still about 2 years he was just stuck, aware of existence as stone. I went back to Stare Master to check how Twilight was after being turned to stone and she didn't seem to remember what happened.
Fluttershy takes Discord in as planned by Celestia and then as a safeguard, Twilight gets the idea to get a reforming spell ready. She find all the pages about reforming spells in her books missing because Discord zapped them out and is now eating them. What exactly does a reforming spell do? It seems like something that would remove self-autonomy making the castee really just a husk or at least would be akin to a drug that alters the psyche to a point that they still lack self-autonomy.
Since the ponies can't force Discord to reform, Fluttershy gets the idea to invite them all to dinner with Discord and during, Fluttershy calls Rainbow Dash "Dashie" which is really cute. Also FlutterDash is OTP. The ponies want to use the Elements but Fluttershy rightly tells them that they aren't even giving Discord a chance when the worst he's done is a bit of tomfoolery. Flutters calls him her friend, the first he's had in over a millennium if not at all.
They find out Sweet Apple Acres is flooding and the other ponies indirectly call Fluttershy a silly and gullible fool like a bunch of cunts. Fluttershy being a true friend keeps her promise of not using her element and Discord upon first thinking he's free to reign chaos realizes his supposed freedom comes at the cost of losing his one friend and decides to revert his shenanigans back to normal. Celestia then comes and congratulates the ponies on reforming Discord.
I don't think Discord was ever actually evil. Even in the season 2 premiere, I believe he was just extremely self-centered. Not once did he ever actually hurt someone; he only ever fucked with them. In fact, I think it's possible Discord wanted the ponies to win in those episodes. I already pointed out the signs in those commentaries. I even thought that maybe Celestia colluded with Discord to test Twilight. Even though I doubt it was ever planned this early on, I have noticed foreshadowing for what becomes of Twilight at the end of the show. Another possibility is that they didn't collude but Celestia already knew that Discord wasn't actually evil and wouldn't actually hurt anyone so took the opportunity to test Twilight and upon her further successes, gave her and her friends this test of fully reforming Discord knowing there was little risk.
Very good episode with Discord hijinx worthy of 5 EV. 4 VB for reforming Discord showing that seemingly evil people can be good. 4 DV also for Discord's reformation.
EP 12: Games Ponies Play
Rating: 4 3 4
We start with learning this episode takes place during Just For Sidekicks. The ponies set off to the Crystal Empire and Rainbow Dash explains in a flashback how Cloudsdale almost was selected to host the Equestria Games but wasn't selected. We also see her father.
We then see that Screwloose is on the train? Either this is a continuity error or this is an animation error and they meant to use the pony that had similar colors and mane.
They arrive at the Crystal Empire and Rainbow Dash just snatches a child off the ground.
Then they arrive at their destination and Rarity slaps a bitch. To keep it short, Cadance needs her mane done and the Equestria Games inspector needs to be picked up and shown around to convince her to select the Crystal Empire for the games. They pick up the wrong pony and the real one has a shit time.
The non-representative also has extreme claustrophobia to the point that even giant open interiors somehow trigger it which is opposite to me; I love confined spaces. At a point she mentions how the Crystal Empire buildings have neo-Gothic information in the design.
Situation eventually gets resolves and the Crystal Empire is selected to host the Equestria Games. Episode over. I didn't have much to say this episode.
Good enough for 4 EV. Nothing to vibe with so 3 VB. 4 DV for continuing Equestria Games storyline.
EP 13: Magical Mystery Cure
Rating: 6 5 5
Starting song is okay. Song's interrupted by rain pouring on Twilight and she discovers all her friends' cutie marks switched. Another song starts. I don't like it. "Give me a hand here" is in the lyrics. Also, Pinkamena returns!
Twilight returns to the library panicked and explains that last night she received a package from Celestia which is the book that was shown in the end of this season's premiere. Celestia in a note explains that it contains an unfinished spell of Starswirl the bearded and Twilight recites it and it causes the current conundrum.
Then we get another song and it's fucking amazing.
This image has such melancholic beauty.
Twilight then becomes determined to fix the situation and then we see that silver bits exist.
Twilight devises a plan to get her friends to do the labors they're supposed to do to get back their real cutie marks and we get another song and it's okay. We then see more Pinkamena.
Absolute beauty.
Twilight completes the spell and thus it begins. The Elements then zap Twilight away and she spawns in an aether, Celestia appearing to congratulate her on her feat. Celestia explains that Twilight has done what Starswirl failed to do: understand friendship. Celestia shows her her memories of learning the magic of friendship stating that she's now ready along with a song which is pretty decent. She sends Twilight back and she descends from the sky to reveal she has become an alicorn. Celestia comes to explain that Twilight is now a princess. A princess worthy of her title. A princess whose labor of bettering the world and bringing happiness both in Equestria and our world earns her that title.
A ceremony is held in Canterlot for Twilight and Lyra is fucking excited!
And thus ends the first major arc of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now is the time for me to explain a theory I have for where alicorns come from. I will call it manifestation theory. This theory states that alicorns come into existence upon certain requirements being met that have a very large significance to the world. In Hearth's Warming Eve, when the pony tribes united, founding Equestria, their flag displayed the Alicorn Sisters despite them either not existing yet or not being princesses yet. Manifestation theory suggests that this event, spreading unity and harmony across the tribes, somehow manifested the Alicorn Sisters, being new gods to take some of the worldly labors that being to raise the sun and moon, relieving the unicorns of their labor and becoming rulers that created harmony throughout all of Equestria. Whether they were born alicorns or became alicorns after a something they did, somehow the world manifested them to become essentially gods. With Twilight, her labors of learning friendship and passing Celestia's tests lead to her manifesting into becoming an alicorn, a godly figure who spreads friendship and betters the world for everyone. Alicorns are born by writing their own myths with their real labors which the world rewards by granting them their godly status.
This was a very beautiful episode. I give 6 EV because throughout the entire episode, I was invested. The songs added to it and especially the one when Twilight was sad which was especially good. I give it 5 VB also for its beauty, rewarding Twilight for her efforts with her becoming an alicorn, being able to further better the world with friendship. This episode is one of the few things that has made me feel any semblance of emotion too no matter how many times I watch it, especially the scene with Twilight and Celestia in the aether. I give it 5 DV for Twilight becoming an alicorn and the advancement in the world that brings.
Post-Season Notes
This season seemed to have more consistently better episodes than season 2. In terms of the timeframe this season takes place in, I'm actually not too sure since there is very little to go off of. The only hints we get is that One Bad Apple takes place across at least two weeks and is set either at the end of summer or the beginning of fall since the summer harvest celebration is a thing. This still is compatible with my theory of season 2 ending sometime in late summer or fall of year 4. We don't get enough information on when the season ends though editing this after watching Equestria Girls suggests it ends in October at the latest. This season also lacks any Derpy sightings or ponies saying the thing.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2024-11-8 Published 2024-12-1