EP 14: The Last Roundup
Rating: 4 5 4
AJ has to go to Canterlot for a rodeo competition. At the pre-celebration, we get Derpy's first voiced lines and the DVDs have the fucking censored version. We learn that there is a pre-celebration because Applejack offered her prize money to fix town hall because Mayor Mare sucks at finance and the town has no money.
They set Applejack off to Canterlot and Fluttershy has a flashback.
Also notice the continuation that a train is now necessary to travel to Canterlot. Applejack doesn't return and the other ponies set off to find her. In Canterlot, they get a lead that she's in a place called Dodge Junction. They find her and she refuses to tell the truth.
Trying to get information on why Applejack left, they get a job at her new employer sorting cherries where they have to sort between red cherries and yellow cherries and until now, I didn't know yellow cherries were a real thing. The ponies then ask AJ questions which pisses her off until she snaps and just fucking murders them all.
Since Applejack won't talk, they deploy Pinkie Pie to conduct a psyop on Applejack annoying her until she explains why she won't return to Ponyville. This seems to work and AJ Pinkie promises to tell them at breakfast the next day.
The next day Applejack is gone and Pinkie is fucking pissed. We then get a chase sequence that shows Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy pulling a cart with the other 3 ponies and are able to keep up with AJ's cart being pulled by 4 ponies which reveals that at least Rainbow Dash has absurdly good pulling strength and Fluttershy is at least able to sprint fast enough to keep up with Rainbow Dash's sprinting.
Pinkie confronts Applejack for breaking her Pinkie promise and AJ slyly explains how she technically didn't break it because she never showed up to breakfast where she said she would explain everything. Pinkie then jumps off and lands on Rarity knocking both off the cart and this was pretty funny.
Applejack forgets pegasi can fly and gets caught and it's revealed she didn't win any prize money at the rodeo and that's why she ran away. The other 3 explain that they don't care that she lost and she returns to Ponyville but there's no money to fix town hall and now taxes have to be raised. Pinkie and Rarity are still in the desert.
Another alright episode worth 4 EV. 5 VB I'm assuming for the ending message of not running from your problems which fun fact is what coping mechanisms are which is why I fucking despise the fact that mental health "professionals" always tout shit like 'developing healthy coping mechanisms' when coping doesn't fucking fix problems. Coping is accepting bullshit and giving in to defeat. Coping is mental weakness and a refusal to actually face problems and instead just pretend to address the issue like pretty much every aspect of modern psychiatry. 4 DV because we get a new location Dodge Junction.
EP 15: The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Rating: 4 5 4
Ok so we start with RD abducting Flutters to get in line for cider. Cider Party. My Little Pony. Cider season. Open. Ponies like cider season. Hard to track episode drunk. 3 minutes in. Grammer and spelling good. RD angry cider ran out. Ponies angry and Pinkie says batch is perfection. Pinkie loves the cider. How are we almost 5 minutes in I don't remember theme song. Ok there was one as I see going back. 30 days to saphire season. Notes say Pony Phuckcast thing here. Tell me if you have missing episodes. I need to add them to archive. Rainbow wants cider.
Cider Apple family takes time to make. Pinkie Pie says this batch was perfection. Pinkie never cider exist again. Machine comes Granny pissed. Song by Flim Flam brothers song is fine. 5:53 Derpy.
Song is good. The song sap apples. Weird leg bends during song is. Apples care about cider. They will lose Sweet Apple Acres if they agree. RD is mad she doesn't get cider. Apple Bloom tells the ponies to come back tomorrow. Then Flim and Flam come to sell cider and Apple Blooom says thing about cider.
Oh fuck it really sets in. Dear god, please don't overdrink. This is not how you should enjoy existence. This is hard to even type. Everything is a blur. I thought this would be a fun gimmick to this episode. Please don't overconsume alcohol. I legitimately cannot look at screen focused enough to properly commentate. I feel dead. I actually thought I was dead for a minute. Please don't overdrink.
So the Flim Flam brothers challenge Apple Family to cider competition. Oops accidentaly went to home. Do not overdrink, it is not fun. Please I thought it would be fun gimmick for episode. Don't overdrink. This is actually painful. Don't overdrink please. I will continue later. Please seek help if you need it.
Ok I'm back. I'm never doing anything like that again. I ended up gifting my associate 10,000 V-bucks worth of stuff in Fortnite during my blur 'cause I thought it was funny at the time before writing the commentary for the first half of the episode. Then when I thought I was dying, I vomited then went to sleep.
This is how much I drank:
While the Apple family is preparing for the competition with the Flim Flam brothers, we see Applejack bucking a punching bag with Apple Bloom holding onto it and eventually Apple Bloom just gets bucked away and it's hilarious.
During the competition the Apple family is falling behind and Applejack's friends are allowed to help and Lyra is fucking excited!
They then surpass Flim and Flam's output and they panic and max out productivity at the cost of quality and Lyra is fucking excited!
The competition ends and Lyra is fucking excited!
The Apple family loses and Flim and Flam now control the cider business in Ponyville but because they had no quality control, their cider tastes like American beer. One pony declares they wouldn't spend one cent on the cider which reveals that cents exist and when bits are also mentioned, reveals that cents are the subunit of bits. When no one wants to buy their cider, they are driven out of town and the Apple family remains in business.
One of the many 4 EV episodes this season. 5 VB for the message that is basically quality over quantity. A lot of people need to learn this message. 4 DV for the Flim Flam brothers' appearance and learning about cider season and learning bits have a subunit.
EP 16: Read It And Weep
Rating: 3 3 3
We start with Rainbow Dash crashing and injuring herself. After the theme song, we see her wake up in the hospital in first person which reminds me of Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain's opening. Even when Pinkie reveals Rainbow Dash's roommate, the bandaged pony reminded me of Ishmael from the prologue. I'm not even an MGS fan, why do I keep making these connections?
Twilight then gives RD a book but she's not an egghead like Twilight. Seriously, who the fuck reads. The nurse says the thing.
Okay, almost every time I leave closed captions on for a few seconds to get these screenshots, there's a typo in at least one of the captions. Whoever captioned these did a horrible job.
Rainbow Dash bored eventually decides to read the Daring Do book Twilight gave her. The show then visualizes the book for us. I do not like these segments that much. It's just mostly dialogueless action of things happening. Rainbow Dash then does her best to get ponies that visit her to go away so she can read. There's also a point where Applejack's lip animation stops before she's done talking at 12:44.
Rainbow Dash is checked out of the hospital before she can finish the book and decides to break into the hospital to get it. While breaking in, she causes an alert like it's an MGS game. The medical staff try to catch her and it's revealed that a little filly also works there, medical cutie mark and all. The mines.
They chase Rainbow Dash through Ponyville until she stops at Twilight's house and we get to see Screwloose for first time and it's revealed she was the one doing the dog barking in the chase. Screwloose is told to get back to the hospital which presumably means the hospital has one of those psychiatric units that are just a scam to funnel psychologically vulnerable people into getting on prescription psychiatric drugs.
Rainbow Dash is forced to admit she's an egghead and the episode ends.
I didn't really like this episode. The Daring Do segments are boring and the only parts with entertainment value are the parts in the real world. 3 EV. Nothing I vibe with so 3 VB. Nothing interesting happens in terms of development so 3 DV.
EP 17: Hearts And Hooves Day
Rating: 5 3 4
We start with the CMC making a Hearts and Hooves Day card for Cheerilee. After the theme song, we arrive at the schoolhouse and there are 3 seconds of animation that show so much and is a mini story itself. We see Peppermint Twist give a card to the grey colt and they hug. The turquoise filly sees this while hiding her card and upon seeing them hug, gets depressed and drops her card. Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara looks smiling at Silver Spoon presumably about to give her a card and then the yellow pegasus foal gives a card to Diamond Tiara and she looks surprised while Silver Spoon is happy her best friend got a card. These 3 seconds tell so much in just animation. The animators did a very good job here.
The CMC give their thing to Cheerilee and we learn Cheerilee doesn't have a very special somepony, a term that became used by certain MLP fans to refer to their internet boyfriends/girlfriends and now when I hear 'special somepony', I just think of all the weirdos I've encountered throughout my life that unironically called their internet pretend boyfriend/girlfriend "special somepony".
While the CMC are coming up with a plan to get Cheerilee a special somepony, we see Peppermint Twist playing pin the heart on the pony and pins the heart on Cheerilee. This is very cute.
We get a song and it's kinda lame. At one point during the song, Scootaloo says "girlfriend" which means all the people that use the terms 'marefriend' and 'coltfriend' in their fanfics are wrong and should kill themselves.
The CMC decide that Big Mac should be Cheerilee's SSP and conduct a romance psyop to get the two together. This fails and then the CMC run into Twilight and she explains Hearts and Hooves Day was started because of a love potion and the CMC get the idea to drug Big Mac and Cheerilee to make them fall in love with each other.
Here's an image for the Twilight fans.
The drugging works and Big Mac and Cheerilee become completely obsessed with each other. At the CMC clubhouse, Sweetie Belle finds out the love potion was a love poison and tells the history of it in the Hearts and Hooves Day history book. There's mention in the book that there's "something here about a dragon, a kingdom falling, chaos reigning..." which may indicate that Hearts and Hooves day was started over 1000 years ago around the time of Discord's probably short reign.
They learn that they can break the curse if they can get Big Mac and Cheerilee to not look into each other's eyes for an hour. Next scene, we're at Sugarcube Corner and the two keep pushing their drink towards one another telling them to take the first drink until Big Mac just throws the damn drink off the table accidentally and this is pretty funny.
The CMC eventually manage to break the curse by keeping them separated. Cheerilee and Big Mac then decide to troll the CMC by pretending to get together.
This is definitely one of the better episodes this season. Thoroughly entertaining and pretty funny at points. Worthy of 5 EV. 3 VB because there is nothing I vibe with. 4 DV for the introduction of Hearts and Hooves Day and telling some of its history.
EP 18: A Friend In Deed
Rating: 4 4 4
We start with the Cake twins still existing showing this show's continuity. After the theme song we see one of the Canadian cows. I thought they got rid of the cows due to the weird dynamic their existence implied but I guess not. I'm just going to assume the cows were hired to be milked.
Pinkie sets out onto town or however you're supposed to say that and we then learn it's Cheerilee's birthday, Zecora's birthday was yesterday, and it's a new character, Matilda's birthday in 132 days. We then get the Smile Song. It is one of the best in the series. This show's about the only thing that makes me smile. Thank you, Pinkie.
After the song, we meet Cranky Doodle Donkey. Pinkie pisses him off and then tries to befriend him but fails multiple times. After Pinkie ends up shotgun blasting confetti and knocking Cranky's wig off, she accidentally destroys it and loudly proclaims to Ponyville that Cranky needs a wig because he's really, really bald and everyone laughs. This was really, really funny.
At Cranky's house Pinkie finds a snow globe and when she shakes it, we see a tiny little Derpy floating inside.
We then learn that Cranky is a MGTOW and that's why he's such a cranky cunt. After Pinkie accidentally destroys what is presumably a photo book, Pinkie gets kicked out of his house. Next, Pinkie is at Twilight's talking to her and we see Rainbow Dash reading a Daring Do book which shows continuity.
Pinkie tries returning to Cranky to apologize but he doesn't accept her apology and then Pinkie brings Matilda who is revealed to be the woman Cranky's been searching for before giving up and becoming a MGTOW. We learn that Pinkie's birthday isn't for another 75 days. Being reunited with the woman he loves, he stops being a MGTOW and forgives Pinkie.
This episode was decent, the Smile Song also gives it some strength so this episode gets a strong 4 EV. 4 VB for the message of different friends liking different things and that you shouldn't be an annoying cunt to friends that don't like it. 4 DV for showing that donkeys exist along with Cranky's backstory.
EP 19: Putting Your Hoof Down
Rating: 4 4 4
This episode starts with Flutters feeding her animals and Angel abuses her and slaps her like a bitch because he wants a specific meal.
Fluttershy is at the market trying to buy stuff for Angel's meal but she fails due to other ponies being cunts to her. Pinkie and Rarity then try to teach her not to be a cowardice little cunt but this doesn't work.
At home Fluttershy makes Angel's meal but since it doesn't have the cherry, he kicks Fluttershy out of her own home. Flutters then finds a flier for a seminar on how to be a sigma mare.
At the sigma mare seminar, a minotaur named Iron Will is the guy teaching ponies how to be sigma mares. Also, Derpy sighting.
Iron Will then states that he is so confidant in his $2000 internet courses that if anyone isn't satisfied, they pay nothing. Flutters is forced to be a volunteer and is taught how to be a sigma mare and then we get a cute Flutters face.
Now being a sigma mare, she assaults a guy overwatering her flowers. She gets giddy with joy that being a cunt worked. When she comes across two ponies blocking a bridge she's trying to cross, she kicks the garbage they're pulling onto them to get them to move. She could've just flown over the bridge since she's a pegasus that can fly but why do that when you can be a sigma mare and just assault them? She then strikes terror in everyone at Sugarcube Corner. Then after everyone in line goes behind her, then she decides to fly 2 meters to the front of the store like a true sigma mare. She then throws a sperg fit when Pinkie laughs at her and then Flutters assaults her. She exits Sugarcube Corner not buying anything and with a smile on her face at just hurting her friend.
Sigmashy continues to assault ponies that cause minor inconveniences to her. She then insults Pinkie and Rarity and makes them cry like the beta mares they are.
After this, however, Fluttershy becomes a beta mare and decides to isolate herself so she won't hurt anyone else. Beta mares Pinkie and Rarity try to get her to come out and try to convince her she doesn't need to be a sigma mare to succeed in life. Iron Will comes to collect his dues for his absurdly expensive internet course. He and Fluttershy then enter a sigma scrap with Fluttershy winning and not having to pay and leaving him a beta minotaur.
Alright episode; 4 EV. 4 VB for the message of standing up for yourself. 4 DV because we see a minotaur and goats.
EP 20: It's About Time
Rating: 4 5 4
We start and see that it's the 4th of whatever month it is. Spike asks if Twilight's worried because they forgot to celebrate Arbor Day. I tried looking up Arbor Day to figure out if this could give us a specific date but all countries have different days of this Arbor Day. The closest I could find in an English speaking country was New Zealand which had its first Arbor Day July 3rd which would match up with the episode which takes place at 03:00 of the shown 4th of the month but that Arbor Day was in 1890 and modern New Zealand Arbor Day is June 5th and prior to that, August 4th but this wouldn't work since they wouldn't have forgotten to celebrate yet.
We then learn that Twilight is just having scheduling problems. I never schedule crap or use a calendar. If you need a calendar for scheduling, your life is too complicated. She also says "month".
Then Twilight from the future arrives with a warning. Current Twilight seeing the battered state of future Twilight asks if there's an epic pony war in the distant future. We'll get there when we get there. Future Twilight reveals she's from next Tuesday morning and she can't get her message to current Twilight because she's being overly questioning and won't shut up.
Twilight warns Ponyville and they try to disaster-proof the town. At the end, Rainbow Dash mentions Las Pegasus as a new city. We then see Cerberus just appear out of nowhere and Twilight mentions he's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus. A thing I noticed also is that Twilight says it as Tartaros, which is closer to the Greek pronunciation.
Twilight then mentions that Tartarus has ancient, evil creatures capable of destroying Equestria and somehow this one triheaded dog prevents them from escaping. Twilight then brings Cerberus back to Tartarus which she apparently knows the location of. Twilight returns the next morning revealing that Tartarus is about a half day's walk away from Ponyville.
Twilight decides to do nothing, Spike eats ice cream, and Rainbow Dash comes in mentioning Baltimare. Twilight is seemingly scared of mice and then throws Spike against a wall. Pinkie is a gypsy. Pinkie tells Twilight she's getting a really cool birthday present next year revealing that Twilight's birthday has already passed this year.
Twilight decides to raid the Canterlot archives to stop time. We hear Twilight mention that they are trying to get into the Starswirl the Bearded wing. I thought he only had a shelf as mentioned in Luna Eclipsed. They then sneak through the archives like it's a damn MGS game and Twilight literally looks like Snake. I also love how Spike through this section is always carrying an ice cream cone. It reminds me of how Julian from Trailer Park Boys always carries a glass of whiskey.
After failing to find the time spell, Twilight's worries come true and an atomic bomb explodes in Canterlot and everyone dies.
You may expect me to go into a whole thing about time paradoxes and how this episode is impossible to happen but genuinely, how the fuck do people not understand that time travel doesn't have to be 1-dimensional? So few people understand the concept of multi-universal time travel and how 2-dimensional time travel solves a lot of time travel paradoxes. Even as a small child, I thought this 2-dimensional theory was how time travel worked with me developing the idea myself but apparently most people don't understand this even as adults.
It was an alright episode worthy of 4 EV. It gets 5 VB for the message of not worrying about the future. 4 DV for Tartarus being revealed and the continuity callback of Starswirl's section in the archives.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2024-10-23/24 Published 2024-11-1