Why the fuck are there commercials on the fucking DVD I fucking already paid for? And why are they for a DVD episode collection for episodes this season? At least VLC skips the splash screens, commercials, and anti-piracy crap for me on my DRM-free complete disc rips that I keep multiple backups of.
EP 1: The Return of Harmony Part 1
Rating: 4 4 5
We start off strong with Cheerilee guiding the little foals on a field trip through the Canterlot gardens and she says the thing.
Apple Bloom says "victoryful". Potential word for later use.
So next Cheerilee teaches the foals about what a draconequus is and the CMC argue resulting in Sweetie Belle calling Scootaloo a 'dodo' in a genuinely mean insult. I actually had to sit there for a minute processing this during the initial watch because while Scoots didn't even understand the insult, hearing my favorite filly be called that in such a genuinely mean intention offended me on her behalf.
The CMC then legitimately throw hooves with each other as Cheerilee does nothing. Cheerilee then teaches us what the word discord means and this show is also what taught me the word.
We get a bunch of scenes of wacky stuff happening to the weather, land, and animals. Twilight comes, throws her book, and declares she's learned a new spell to solve the problems and says "everyone". She fails. At least Pinkie's enjoying it.
They eventually do temporarily fix the problem and Twilight tells Spike a generic "don't give up" lesson. 5 minutes in we finally get to the point of the episode with Celestia requesting they all go to Canterlot.
They arrive and we get a lore dump about Discord. She states he ruled Equestria before Celestia and Luna stood up to him; however, as we will learn in a later episode, this was probably a short period of time. We learn that the reason Discord has now broken free is because the Elements are no longer connected to the Alicorn Sisters possibly implying that since the Elements switched to the Mane 6, Discord has slowly been breaking free since the beginning of the show. We also learn that the Elements have been kept in Canterlot.
After revealing the Elements to be missing, we get to hear Discord and his classic "What fun is there in making sense?" line. This line is such a perfect absurdist thing to say. Value is an illusion and everything is just perception. We try to make sense of a completely meaningless existence and we manufacture gods, laws, and etiquettes to give us an illusion of meaning and sense. These are no fun. People use these means to enforce violence upon those who do not adhere to their sense of the world. The only fun, the only truth is rejecting the gods, laws, and etiquettes that only give people an illusion of value and sense. We must embrace the absolute meaninglessness if we are to not succumb to absolute despair caused by fake perception. After all, what fun is there in making sense?
Discord then mocks Celestia's cruelty for turning him into stone whereas he doesn't do that. We get a regurgitation of the ponies' representation through the Elements. We then get a pretty funny bit where Discord dances on Twilight's head in the window art. After Discord gives them a riddle to solve and they set off, Celestia says the thing.
They set off into the maze after encountering Discord and are separated. Applejack's corruption is first. When Twilight finds her and AJ lies, Twilight reassures herself that Applejack wouldn't lie even though she literally has multiple times in the show.
Next is Pinkie and she reveals she doesn't like being laughed at and her corruption is next. Next is Rarity who still has the same amount of bitchiness in her corruption. Fluttershy is next and she admits to being weak and helpless revealing she's possibly the least insecure of them all. Corrupted Fluttershy then tail slaps Twilight and assaults Pinkie which is pretty funny. RD is next and she bails and ends the game.
Discord tells them they failed and he says the thing but the captions have a typo.
EP 2: The Return of Harmony Part 2
Rating: 4 4 5
We start with Fluttershy laughing at Pinkie and then Rarity just straight up attacks Applejack which is pretty funny. I also have written in my notes to mention how the fuck is my PS5 able to go back and forth frame by frame but yet VLC can only go forward a frame? How does this decades old libre software not have this functionality?
They return to Ponyville which is still apparently within walking distance. Corrupted Pinkie states she hates libraries when they arrive at Twilight's home meaning Pinkie actually likes libraries. Spike then says "everybody" and mentions how they're grey meaning they are literally grey and it's not just something only the viewer sees. Corrupted AJ says Spike brings out the worst in them meaning he actually brings out the best in them.
Twilight eventually finds the Elements and I find it very amusing how she calls hers "big crown thingy". I also find it hilarious how as they exit the library to confront Discord, Spike just gets trampled and face slammed into the floor.
They confront Discord and fail.
Herobrine sighting #3
Afterwards, Pinkie says "It's your fault it didn't work." while looking at Discord skate away. She then says she's saying it to everyone but it's possible she still has her normal Pinkie abilities and really meant it to Discord potentially meaning he purposely made the Elements not work.
Twilight becomes corrupted after her friends abandon her. She comes across Spike who has been belching a bunch of letters which turn out to be all of Twilight's friendship lessons and reports. She reads them as we see scenes of previous episodes. She becomes uncorrupted by this but how does Celestia know Twilight needed these? She hasn't communicated with anyone since she sent them on to the maze.
Twilight then finds and turns everyone back to normal except for Rainbow Dash who's out of reach on a cloud and refuses to move. They orchestrate a plan to catch her. They have to chase her and we get this image:
They catch up to RD and turn her back to normal.
Ok, so I know I've been looking way too deep into numbers on this damn children's show but I am damn fucking sure I just discovered an Easter egg I've never seen anyone discuss before. Look at the below image. Notice the Ace, 2, 7, and next is the 3 at the bottom. I noticed that these are the numbers 1273 from the song Rockefeller Street so I looked at the 10, 5, and 2 for any relation and 10 plus 5 plus 2 is 17, the number of letters in Rockefeller Street.
Next we learn that the full is half glass. Discord then levitates the Mane 6 towards him by their Elements and when Twilight gets them away from his grasp, we get this suspicious smirk on Discord.
They then use their magical rainbow powers to defeat Discord.
Herobrine sighting #4
The day saved and totally wasn't part of some grand plan.
These episodes were alright, They get 4 EV for some kinda funny moments. 4 VB is for Discord and his chaos. 5 DV because we learn about Discord and Equestrian history and get continuity callbacks.
EP 3: Lesson Zero
Rating: 5 4 4
We start off this episode learning that Twilight has a very judging personality with her planning every single little thing. We also get a new theme song sequence with a new instrumental.
Twilight goes to Sugarcube Corner to pick up cupcakes and Twilight ends up making the cupcakes just the way I like them.
Back at the library, we learn that Twilight has been sending letters to Celestia every week. She then freaks out about being late to sending a letter. She starts having schizophrenic paranoia about being sent to magic kindergarten.
Looking for someone to help so she can learn a friendship lesson, she comes across Rarity crying hysterically about losing a ribbon. Twilight then just leaves in the middle of helping Rarity making her the cunt in this scenario.
Twilight comes across Rainbow Dash destroying one of Applejack's barns and Twilight thinks it's because RD is pissed at AJ. Twilight tells Rainbow Dash to tell her feelings to her and we then see Twilight as a psychiatric scam artist, also known as a therapist trying to get Rainbow Dash to tell her the issues she supposedly has with Applejack. Applejack explains the situation and Rainbow Dash makes a rainnuke explosion.
Twilight then comes across Fluttershy kindly giving a bear chiropractic and a massage but decides not to approach Fluttershy out of fear because she doesn't understand things.
We then see Twilight lying down, freaking out on a bench like me thinking about getting this shit all written and edited by next site update date which is completely arbitrary.
Twilight then starts schizing out again and goes to the picnic. After the rest don't take her problem seriously, she has a schizo fit and they laugh at her. Alone at the library after taking my advice of not taking her meds, she really freaks the fuck out and decides to make problems herself to solve.
Twilight looking like a Discord user.
Oh my god, look at the cute Scootaloo face:
Twilight then begins to scare the CMC as she approaches them. Reminds me of my childhood.
Twilight tries to force them to play with and fight over her Smartypants doll but they end up throwing hooves over who has to play with it as they want to escape the situation of a scary, psychotic, clearly completely fucking out of it adult, which is like most adults just a tiny bit worse.
Twilight then casts a spell on the doll to make everyone want it causing the entire town to go into mayhem. Celestia then descends from the heavens and we get a Derpy sighting.
Celestia snaps everyone out of the spell but Big Mac decides to take Smartypants for himself.
Back at the library, Celestia decides that everyone must now send her letters.
Celestia on the ledge and shit.
Very entertaining episode with schizo Twilight. 5 EV. 4 VB I guess 'cause Twilight goes crazy mode. 4 DV for the new arc of the rest of the ponies now sending Celestia letters.
EP 4: Luna Eclipsed
Rating: 4 5 5
What's Apple Bloom doing with Luna's crest?
We learn it's Nightmare Night and Spike asks Twilight if she's dressed up as "that one kooky grandpa from Ponyville retirement village" indicating that Ponyville has a retirement village. My notes tell me to mention this. Twilight then states she's Starswirl the Bearded. Granny Smith is tired. We then meet a new colt named Pipsqueak who is from Trottingham.
After the theme song, we hear Twilight state that Starswirl the Bearded is from the pre-classical era and has a shelf in the Canterlot Library of Magic named after him.
In the next scene, Spike, who is dressed as a dragon tells AJ he's dressed as a dragon and I found this pretty funny. AJ thinks Twilight is dressed as a country music singer. We get a Derpy sighting.
Afterwards, Zecora leads everyone to a statue of Nightmare Moon and explains the history of Nightmare Night. I like to think that Zecora knows more about Equestrian history than the vast majority of ponies do.
Then Luna just fucking appears. She's cool as fuck.
Herobrine sighting #5
Everyone is scared of her though and she pouts and walks away. Twilight goes after her and finds her under the shadow of the Nightmare Moon statue, which is symbolic I think. Luna then recognizes Twilight is dressed as Starswirl the Bearded. Luna's idiolect reveals she's a nosist and uses 'thou' and its inflections/grammar. We also learn that her very loud yelling voice is the traditional royal Canterlot voice.
They go to Fluttershy's but she's scared of Luna. Luna after learning from Fluttershy to speak more softly, hugs her a lot. Pinkie and the foals find them and run in fear as they think Luna stole Fluttershy's voice. Twilight and Luna then go to AJ to help Luna and even she's a coward towards Luna.
Eventually after scaring more ponies, Luna has a tism fit and cancels Nightmare Night. Twilight then has to comfort her post-meltdown. Twilight abducts Pinkie and forces her to confront Luna. Twilight then learns that Luna is just too autistic to understand Nightmare Night. Luna eventually learns and returns Nightmare Night.
Decent episode so it gets 4 EV. 5 VB 'cause Luna is an autist that people fear. 5 DV for learning about Nightmare Night. I am become sleepy, goer to bed.
Also the closed captions call it Night Mare Night instead of Nightmare Night but Nightmare Night is what pretty much everything calls it.
EP 5: Sisterhooves Social
Rating: 5 3 4
So this is the first Sweetie Belle focused episode. A lot of people seem to really like Sweetie Belle so I went and searched far and wide why this is. However, what I found instead was a bunch of weirdos obsessing over this little filly a bit too much. Below are a few examples of the least deranged Sweetie Belle fans I could find.
We start with Rarity waking to Sweetie's cooking and she's about to beat the little shit until their parents startle her with their presence and we get to meet them. We learn that their parents are going on vacation and Sweetie Belle will be staying with Rarity which reveals that Rarity lives alone and Sweetie Belle actually lives with their parents. It is also revealed that their mother has been giving Sweetie Belle cooking lessons which can either mean Sweetie just fucking sucks at cooking or isn't actually that bad and their mother is actually the true horrible cook that Sweetie just learned from.
Sweetie Belle then tries to help Rarity but fails twice. One of which being when she ruins a wool sweater of Rarity's. I just want to ask who has ever worn anything made of wool? Genuinely, the only wool thing I have ever seen of any use is Smartwool socks. They were pretty good socks though. Still have them but they're too small now.
Sweetie Belle bored decides to draw a picture since she's never gotten in trouble for drawing which is something I can't relate to. She then bips Rarity's gems and she gets in trouble for drawing, something I can relate to.
Sweetie then decides to organize Rarity's room and when Rarity arrives, she's devastated that everything is cleaned stating that it was organized chaos which is possibly the one thing I can relate to Rarity on since I have pretty much the same organizational style where everything looks like it's lazily thrown around but has an organization pattern to it that the normies wouldn't understand. I think this also reveals that Rarity has a very perceiving personality if I'm understanding the probably pseudoscience right.
Sweetie encounters Apple Bloom and learns about the Sisterhooves Social. Rarity however doesn't want to go. Sweetie flips the fuck out and declares Rarity isn't her sister. She talks to Applejack and learns more about her and Apple Bloom's dynamic and complains about Rarity.
Back at Rarity's, she gets inspiration to make dresses due to Sweetie's cleaning. Then she gives the shrunken sweater to Opal. I hope she likes it, I like Opal. Next we see AJ and AB herding sheep and hear Sweetie mention how it's like the sheep are all one pony, similar to how I view people that identify with a specific political label. We also learn the sheep can talk which is just weird.
Rarity then finds the drawing and realizes what a bitch she's been. We also see the dresses from the gala.
Rarity tries to apologize to Sweetie Belle but she doesn't want to hear her shit and declares Applejack as her sister. Apple Bloom gets very protective of Applejack as her sister. Rarity pleads with her but fails.
We arrive at the Sisterhooves Social and AJ decides to make Sweetie Belle her sister for the thing. Granny Smith starts the thing and they set off. AJ falls into mud and then they both lose. It is then revealed that AJ was actually Rarity and then the episode ends with Sweetie and Rarity not hating each other. There's also an slight animation problem at 19:10 where a filly disappears a few frames too early going off screen.
Pretty good episode so it gets 5 EV. I don't vibe with anything in it though so it only gets 3 VB. 4 DV 'cause we meet Rarity's parents.
EP 6: The Cutie Pox
Rating: 4 3 3
We start the episode with the CMC preparing to go bowling and Scootaloo gets smart. They utterly fail at bowling and I have never seen The Big Lebowski.
After the theme song, Apple Bloom is sad and Scootaloo after she almost destroyed the place mentions that maybe she can get her cutie mark in demolition which reminds me of a time when a cop mocked me telling me I should work in demolition after I committed property damage.
Apple Bloom remains sad as the others fail to cheer her up. She decides to go to Zecora's and then steals her stuff to make a potion to get her cutie mark.
The next seeming day, Apple Bloom has a cutie mark in loop-de-hooping. She does a bunch of tricks showing off and everyone is amazed. Also fake Derpy! You can't fool me!
Cheerilee comes out and says the thing.
After showing off more, Apple Bloom gets another cutie mark in another useless skill and goes to perform in town. We then see Twilight's mane get turned to Rarity's style and Spike falls in love with Twilight revealing that Spike is really attracted to that kind of mane style.
The dialogueless montage thing continues until we finally arrive at the Apple family home with Apple Bloom still doing her things and goes to bed. AJ is awakened in the night and finds Apple Bloom tap dancing against her will. They go to Twilight who reveals Apple Bloom has Cutie Pox and that there was an outbreak of it in the paleo-pony period. Twilight then throws Spike off her into a wall. We learn the disease causes the ponies that have it to gain all the skills that the cutie marks represent. Apple Bloom then gets a cutie mark for speaking French. Fortunately for the French, I have not had any bad experiences with them nor do they tend to hold dumb beliefs to my knowledge so no French hate from me. The language's spelling is worse than English's though. This also implies the pony equivalent of French exists.
They go to Zecora and after a montage of Apple Bloom getting more cutie marks, Zecora appears in town. Zecora brings out seeds of truth that require ponies speak truth to grow a cure. Apple Bloom admits her cutie marks are fake and admits to stealing from Zecora. She is then cured.
It's alright enough for 4 EV. Nothing to vibe with so 3 VB. Nothing of any interest happens in terms of development so 3 DV.
EP 7: May The Best Pet Win!
Rating: 4 4 4
We start with RD in a dream then waking up to the other ponies bringing their pets for a pet play date. Eventually Rainbow Dash expresses interest in getting a pet and Fluttershy is ecstatic. We then get a song that ranges from kinda lame to kinda alright. Rainbow Dash also says "fast as a bullet" in one of her lyrics implying bullets exist in Equestria. At the very end of the song we get a very sneaky Derpy sighting. What she doin' there?
Rainbow Dash holds a competition to determine who should be her pet. We also get an animation error with layering.
After Rainbow Dash lists style, coolness, awesomeness, and radicalness as separate criteria, Twilight asks Rainbow Dash aren't they the same thing to which Rainbow Dash answers her saying she would think that and that's why Twilight would never qualify to be her pet. TwiDash fans on suicide watch now.
After a bunch of competitions, we finally get to the race part of the episode and we get the classic image.
Eventually during the race, Rainbow Dash gets hit by a giant rock in an avalanche that immobilizes her. Eventually the turtle finds her and saves her. The race ends with RD missing until she appears riding on the turtle. Rainbow Dash declares that the other animals were cunts for not saving her and takes the turtle as her pet and names him Tank.
Another fine episode. 4 EV. 4 VB for the message I think. 4 DV because we meet Tank for the first time.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2024-10-21 Published 2024-11-1