Why is Cadance on the disc art for disc 3 when she doesn't exist yet?
EP 14: Suited For Success
Rating: 4 4 4
We continue with the Grand Galloping Gala storyline. Rarity has to make dresses for everyone for the gala. Twilight horrifies Rarity with her wack-ass drip and Applejack scares her saying she doesn't want to dress in formal attire for the gala. Rainbow Dash crashes through the ceiling and Rarity decides to make dresses for everyone and hold a fashion show. Then we get a Rarity song. It's alright.
The dresses are made but everyone's an ungrateful little shit and tell Rarity they don't think they're great. At least Opal likes them.
Rarity chooses to revise the dresses and next we get to see Flutters' first. After Rarity scares Fluttershy, Flutters reveals a hidden knowledge of dressmaking. We get part 2 of Rarity's song. It's slightly better than part 1. The VA's normal voice slips through a little in the beginning too I noticed. We also hear that Twilight can't pronounce classical Latin with her pronunciation of the word canis. Fluttershy says the word "French". Then we get Rainbow Dash's 20% cooler line.
The new dresses are finished and Opal hates them. The fashion show is beginning and we get to see Vinyl Scratch for the first time.
The ponies walk out onto the stage to reveal the new dresses are gaudy abominations that look like outfits of a mid-level GTA Online player. Rarity is filled with shame and secludes herself. The ponies then kidnap Opal to trick Rarity into coming outside to show her a dress Fluttershy made with her hidden dressmaking talent.
Everyone realizes the original dresses were superior and throw another fashion show with those ones. During the show, Hoity Toity says "Dutch apple pie" implying the Dutch exists in this world. Gross.
Alright episode. Gets 4 EV. 4 VB for the message of letting professionals get their shit done properly and taking free shit without complaining. 4 DV for the continuance of the gala storyline.
EP 15: Feeling Pinkie Keen
Rating: 4 3 4
Pinkie Pie is shown to have predictive abilities and Twilight not believing her, becomes a victim to her prediction. This happens twice. Applejack reveals that Ponyville has come to learn about Pinkie's ability. We then get to meet Pinkie's pet, Gummy.
After Pinkie questions Twilight how her ability is so strange when Twilight does magic, Twilight literally gets on a soapbox to tout her explanation about how magic makes sense while Pinkie's Pinkie Sense doesn't.
We then seen that Twilight's library has a basement and Twilight conducts some experiments on Pinkie. We can also see that artificial lights exist in Equestria.
Twilight decides to spy on Pinkie for knowledge on her Pinkie Sense. We then get to see cute little Pinkie rolling. Twilight then gets assaulted by bees after a Pinkie Sense instance. Then she falls down some stairs. Next we see a barrage of heavy items fall on Twilight and kill her. We also get a Derpy sighting.
Twilight respawns and Pinkie reveals she knows about Twilight following her which pisses Twilight off. Pinkie then gets another Pinkie Sense thing and they head off to Froggy Bottom Bog. They arrive to find Fluttershy had spontaneously combusted twice and is now dead.
A hydra then appears and attempts to grief the remaining ponies. Running away, the ponies have to cross a canyon and Fluttershy's reanimated corpse remembers a hop, skip, and a jump in a continuity callback. Running away from the hydra, Twilight runs off the cliff, missing the jump and falls to her death.
Pinkie's Pinkie Sense is revealed to not be for the hydra and Twilight literally spontaneously combusts and dies again.
Episode was fine. 4 EV. 3 VB cause the message is kinda stupid about having faith in stuff. 4 DV for Froggy Bottom Bog and the hydra.
EP 16: Sonic Rainboom
Rating: 4 4 5
We start with the famous Flutter cheer. Flutters continues to be cute as Rainbow Dash does her tricks. Rainbow Dash then attempts to do a sonic rainboom but launches herself into Twilight's library, knocking all the books off their shelves. We then learn about the Young Flier Competition which Rainbow Dash will be competing in. We learn RD plans to do the sonic rainboom at the competition and Pinkie explains how sonic rainbooms work with Applejack stating that Rainbow Dash has been the only pony to ever do one. Pinkie also states she's never seen a sonic rainboom before. Rainbow Dash then spergs out revealing the prize for winning is spending a day with the Wonderbolts.
Rarity assaults Twilight and she finds a spell to allow non-pegasi to walk on clouds. After Twilight casts the spell on Rarity, we then arrive at Cloudsdale. Derpy sighting.
A bunch of stereotypical bullies bully Rainbow Dash as adults. Rainbow Dash then reveals her insecurity about performing and Rarity reveals herself with wings and the other ponies arrive at Cloudsdale.
Rarity obsesses over herself as we see more of Cloudsdale. They then all go to the Cloudsdale Weather Factory which from what we see of it, gives me the feeling that a rainbow's tale isn't quite as nice as the story we know of sugar and spice.
In the factory, we learn that all snowflakes in existence are all hoof-made individually which seems very inefficient and Rarity ruins everything, blowing all the snowflakes around. Next, they go to the rainbow area and when Pinkie tastes the rainbow, it's too spicy for her which indicates that either this is a continuity error since in episode 1, we see Pinkie loves hot sauce or that the rainbows are so spicy, not even Pinkie can handle them. Rainbow Dash continues to be an insecure little shit as Rarity continues to be a self-centered bitch.
So next the competition is beginning and it is announced that Celestia's there and the Wonderbolts arrive and Rainbow Dash sees this giving us this adorable happy Dashie.
The thing starts and Rainbow Dash continues her insecure escapades switching out her number with other ponies to delay her performance with Rarity also delaying so she can do her bullshit. We then see this scared Rainbow Dash cowering like she just realized the meaningless nature of existence and the fact that the value of your life is a complete illusion and no one's coming to save you in this existential hell.
No idea if there's any relevancy, but I looked up the symbolism of the 15th arcana The Devil since that's RD's number and the context matches the meaning of the card I think, especially the reverse meaning with how the episode ends. Probably just looking to much into numbers though.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity then have to perform together and Rarity was a cunt and changed RD's music choice so she can do her bullshit. RD fucks things up in her performance and Rarity is Rarity until she goes full retard mode and gets her wings evaporated causing her to fall. The Wonderbolts try to save her but she's a flailing idiot and ends up knocking them out instead. Trying to save her, Rainbow Dash performs a sonic rainboom and saves the uppity cunt and her victims.
Rainbow Dash then gets to actually meet the Wonderbolts and has a spergasm over it.
Celestia declares Rainbow Dash the winner and Rarity learns not to be a cunt. The end.
For an episode considered one of the best and what I've seen people say is a good first episode to watch, I don't think it stands up to that. It was entertaining enough for 4 EV but still not one of the best episodes so far. You really should just stick to episode 1 as a first episode. 4 VB because I guess the message of "Be there for your friends." doesn't suck unless I forgot another reason I gave it 4 VB. It gets 5 DV for the fact that we see Cloudsdale, learn a little about Equestrian weather, and learn about and see the sonic rainboom.
EP 17: Stare Master
Rating: 3 2 3
The episode starts with Sweetie Belle destroying Rarity's boutique like she deserves. Opal tries to attack Rarity too after being brought home by Fluttershy. Good kitty. We then learn Sweetie Belle's an autist that doesn't understand expressions when she takes Rarity saying "I've bitten off more that I can chew." seriously. Then the other CMC zoom in and declare they're supposed to have a sleepover at Rarity's which conflicts with Rarity's plan to complete an order then we also learn Sweetie Belle stole some of the special silk Rarity was using for that order to make the CMC capes. Fluttershy instead decides to have the sleepover at her cottage and we get to see these happy little fillies.
Outside walking to the cottage, Flutters comes across Twilight and she mentions how she's going to Zecora's to get tea. This continues Zecora continuity. Fluttershy cowards out about it being in the Everfree and tells Twilight her plan of taking care of the CMC thinking it will be an easy task.
At the cottage, the CMC start fucking shit up and we get this Flutters:
The CMC want to go out to the Everfree but Flutters cowards out again. The CMC after playing pretend break Fluttershy's shit. They then decide to go Jesus mode and become carpenters but utterly fail at repairing the table they destroyed and Apple Bloom talks about putting it out of its misery. Sweetie Belle says "Who wants a picture of hammer on their flank anyway?" dismissing the hard work and labor that construction ponies do like an ungrateful little shit to the very ponies that built Equestria.
Flutters challenges the CMC to the quiet game and we get this cute Fluttershy:
The CMC purposely lose and propose becoming Cutie Mark Crusader coal miners. The children yearn for the mines. Child labor laws were a mistake. Flutters is a dirty unionist though and denies them this. It's now bedtime and Flutters sings her Hush Now, Quiet Now lullaby. Sweetie then covers it into some upbeat jazz. Or some genre like that, I don't know exactly.
It's now 8 hours later for me so hopefully I actually have shit to say starting now.
So we hear the chickens freaking out and as Fluttershy is turned around, the fillies jump out of the window and start chasing the chickens around and I already mentioned how I love the filly walk cycle but the filly run cycle is even more amusing. Flutters then reveals her ability to manipulate animals with The Stare, which terrifies animals into doing her beckoning despite her likely being too timid to actually do any harm. Similar to how people will use intimidation as a manipulation tactic when they don't intend on actually doing any harm. This is something I noticed as a young child. People that threaten you do so because they don't actually want to escalate things whereas people that are actually willing to hurt you just will without warning.
After seeing the chickens escaped, they decide to try to save the chickens but instead of jumping out the window again, they decide to sneak past Fluttershy for some reason. Fluttershy also says "kids" which I'm not actually sure if follows the linguistic logic of ponies. Flutters finds them missing and has to go into the Everfree.
Next scene the CMC are arguing in the Everfree and Apple Bloom decides to be a bitch to Scootaloo and call her a chicken which she is not! She is best filly and not a chicken like losers like to claim. Sweetie Belle tells them they won't get their cutie marks by arguing but by the fact that people these days make careers by arguing with retards on the internet, I think it's entirely possible to get a cutie mark in arguing. Apple Bloom agrees with me and then has a Twitch debate with Scootaloo trying to get a cutie mark.
Fluttershy then comes upon Twilight who's been turned to stone and is now dead. We learn there's a cockatrice. They find it and it tries to attack them and running away they find stone Twilight getting totally snailed.
We then have to endure filly screaming and Fluttershy forces the cockatrice to undo its bullshit and the CMC call Flutters the Stare Master which is the episode title.
The episode ends with the CMC pissing off Rarity and getting this Twilight face:
So this episode I didn't like that much. Only gets 3 EV. The fillies constantly screaming got very annoying very quickly so I removed a point from the VB giving it only 2 VB. 3 DV because there's barely any development other than that we see a new creature which is the cockatrice but I don't find it nearly interesting enough to give any DV.
EP 18: The Show Stoppers
Rating: 4 3 3
We start this episode with Applejack introducing the CMC to their new clubhouse which is a worn down piece of shit and Applejack reveals that she used it herself as a clubhouse when she was a little filly. Scootaloo gets smart with Applejack like the cool little filly she is saying "TLC as in tender loving care or totally lost cause?" in response to AJ saying the run down clubhouse needed TLC.
We then get to see Scootaloo on her scooter zip around town and do tricks and we get a Derpy sighting.
Scoots is also able to make her wings make a realistic engine sound seemingly having an ability at producing machine sounds like Tatsuya from Persona 2. We then see that Apple Bloom managed to fix the clubhouse by herself. We learn Sweetie Belle likes singing and helps the other CMC make a theme song and after Applejack finds them and sees the new clubhouse, we get a long montage of the CMC trying to get their cutie marks. These montages bore me.
Finally, after the montage is over, we see that the CMC have ravaged Twilight's library. This is when we get to the actual plot of the episode with the talent show. The fillies get excited and Twilight says the thing.
We then see that the CMC stole Rarity's crap for the talent show and we see a pissed off Rarity yell at them as Scootaloo scooters away with the other 2 in the wagon showing us that Scootaloo is the driver of the group. After getting the supplies, Scootaloo then lists the ingredients to making a nail bomb.
Back at the clubhouse, they come up with the routine and Sweetie Belle is revealed to be an insecure little cunt since she doesn't want to sing in front of a crowd even though she's the best singer of the three. They decide their roles during the show and Apple Bloom reveals she likes kung fu implying Chinese culture exists in the world. She also almost knocks out Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom in the next scene tries dancing but fails and says she feels like she has "four left feet" instead of four left hooves. Scootaloo reveals that she has moves. Then we learn Scoots sucks at making music and Sweetie Belle sucks at making outfits.
Got an idea for a joke here but I'll just let those that know think it themselves.
We arrive at the talent show and Twilight says the thing:
Why does VLC fuck up the aspect ratio of screenshots when closed captions are on? I fix it so you don't notice but this getting annoying.
We then get the CMC's song and I wish there was a version that wasn't purposely bad 'cause I think it could be one of the best songs in the series if it had actually good vocal work and a better instrumental.
After the performance they are embarrassed after everyone laughs at them and Cheerilee tells them to go back on stage for the awards. They don't want to go out because of their shame and Cheerilee tells them they made a great effort and should go out. I gotta agree with Cheerilee; I am writing these fucking things talking about a children's show after all and non-bronies that find these will probably just laugh at me but I stick to what I publish and I have no shame, not because of confidence but because I genuinely lack the ability to feel shame. Same with remorse.
The CMC then win the best comedy act award and retroactively feel glad for themselves.
So this was a better CMC episode than the last one and gets 4 EV. 3 VB because there's nothing I vibe with. Not really any world development so 3 DV.
EP 19: A Dog And Pony Show
Rating: 5 4 4
So this is another Rarity focused episode. As you may have noticed, I'm not the biggest fan of Rarity so I contacted my associate FrostFire, the biggest Rarity fan I know of to explain the appeal of her character. This is what they had to say:
Rarity is the worst pony.
In otherwords, she’s a worthless, selfish, upper-class whore who uses everyone around her, and how, in Sombra’s name, does she deserve the Element of Generosity? This stupid cracker is the epitome of upper-class douchebags. What gives the equivalent of Gucci giving a dollar the right to be the standard of generosity? Not only is she a stupid ass ho, but she also looks like a blank sheet of paper with that ridiculous music note emoji hairstyle. How could anyone remotely like her? She has no redeeming qualities and is exactly the type of person we should be throwing Molotovs at to take down the upper class.
She’s a dramatic and worthless hag who only cares about herself. Her worst crime is using Spikey-Wikey, the peakest dragon in Equestria, and I cannot wait for that poor dragon to go rabid and eat her alive – it would be her only contribution to pony society, finally proving her worth by becoming a nice, succulent meal for Spikey-Wikey. The poor dragon is blinded by her ugly ass, like many poor young people in society who follow their ungrateful, ugly-ass celebrities who provide nothing of value to society. She’s a superficial whore, more interested in her pretty dresses and materialism, far from the teachings of Twilight and the importance of friendship.
Rarity should be crucified and sacrificed for ponykind to thrive and prosper. I hate her. She has maybe two moments in all the seasons where she did something remotely nice, and literally any other pony is more deserving of an Element of Harmony. Stupid horse.
They also sent me this with the following caption:
I HAT HATE RARITY RARITY DIE DIE DIE DIED DIED DIDE DIE DIE DUM DUMB HORSE IDIJOT STUPID WHITE WHITE WHITE BURN BUEN BURN
Thank you Frosty, very cool!
This episode opens up with us meeting Sapphire Shores who is apparently the "pony of pop". She took an interest in Rarity, apparently because she knows of all the up and coming designers and a magazine raved about her. This is potentially a continuity callback to when Hoity Toity took interest in Rarity's dresses but it's not explicit so I don't know for sure. Either way, this means Rarity's influence is growing. The episode's conflict arises when Sapphire Shores need more gem-woven dresses made but Rarity has no more gems.
We see that Rarity has the ability to detect gems and Spike is her assistant doing child labor digging up the gems she finds and he enjoys it. What did I say about yearning for the mines?
We then see that Spike is being watched by some creatures from a bush like a Discord user stalking their kitten across the internet. They then see Rarity is the actual one finding the gems and realize she's who they want. Rarity then detects a gem and her horn guides her to it only to be invited to a cupcake party by what are revealed to be Diamond Dogs.
Spike gets the others of the Mane 6 and conduct a rescue operation to save Rarity from the predators so they can shill their Patreon and virtue signal how good they are. They then come across a bunch of holes in the ground to find the canines and Rarity but the Diamond Dogs have a supernatural ability to move dirt to completely fill multi-meter-deep holes almost instantly. They try digging but the dogs just troll them.
Aww, they're cuddling.
Spike then fantasizes about saving Rarity and everyone gets dragged into Hell and Pinkie couldn't be happier.
Twilight copies Rarity's gem finding spell to search for her. The Diamond Dogs then harass Rarity into joining their paramilitary organization for her S+ R&D. They then make her do slave labor but she whines her way out of doing most of the work and during some dialogue, Rarity confirms that ponies have coats; their bodies aren't their bare skin. Then she makes them all her slaves. They then unionize and make her do the labor again. One of the dogs then literally physically assaults Rarity but Rarity is more offended that she was called a mule than being literally physically assaulted. But then Rarity emotionally manipulates them into complimenting her. The others arrive and find the Diamond Dogs running from their abuser and give Rarity back and the cycle of abuse ends.
Very good episode. 5 EV. 4 VB I guess for the message of people using smarts to get out of bad situations. 4 DV 'cause we see the Diamond Dogs and Rarity is possibly moving up.
EP 20: Green Isn't Your Color
Rating: 4 4 3
We start by learning that Rarity and Fluttershy spend time together once a week. We learn of a pony named Photo Finish and how she has an interest in Rarity's stuff. Rarity wants Fluttershy to model her dresses.
Next we see Fluttershy getting all dressed up for the thing and Spike confesses that he has a crush on Rarity to Twilight and Pinkie. Pinkie reinforces the importance of keeping people's secrets to Twilight.
Photo Finish arrives and we can hear that she's German and has the same demeanor as one. She likes taking photos of sad Fluttershy which really makes you think about how we enjoy people's suffering in art. Next, we're at another photo shoot and we can see Carousel Boutique in the background but no Ponyville or Canterlot implying Carousel Boutique is not north of Ponyville. Rarity is sad Fluttershy gets attention instead of her.
At the next photo shoot in front of a crowd, we get a Derpy sighting and at least five Minuettes.
With Fluttershy's success in modeling, we then see her image appear on a bunch of things as cognitive rape, also known as advertisements. Flutters then has to run away from paparazzi. Rarity is self-centered and claims she's Fluttershy's best friend and then wishes Fluttershy would lose her popularity because she's a jealous bitch. Twilight is also reminded by a Pinkie jumpscare the importance of trust and not telling secrets. We get a cute Flutter yell. Eventually Twilight says "no one" once and "anyone" twice.
Flutters is tired of modeling and she and Twilight come up with a plan to sabotage her next showing. They do and we get to see an angry Derpy.
Rarity fucks everything up and this results in the sabotage failing. Rarity confesses her jealousy, Fluttershy quits and this episode's commentary fucking sucked.
Decent episode. 4 EV. 4 VB for the message the importance of keeping people's secrets. 3 DV because nothing that important builds upon the world other than Carousel Boutique's implied geography.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2024-10-15/16 Published 2024-11-1