Rating: 5 3 3
It's spring break and the girls are on a cruise. Is this the yacht that was mentioned in Dance Magic? None of Crystal Prep appears at all in this special so I'm leaning towards this being a separate thing.
The girls are going on about what they want to do and crap, Applejack's seasick, and Rainbow Dash explains how she wants the boat to be attacked and people to get hurt so she can save the day and see some action. The others begin to worry about her mental state.
Rarity freaks the fuck out because she got an alert on her phone telling her they're now in international waters and exclaims that means tax-free shopping. So we know Canterlot City is in the Pacific Northwest near the coast as seen with the beach shit. Washington has a state-wide sales tax and Oregon while having no state sales tax, does allow local governments to charge sales tax. Seeing as they're out at sea and likely wouldn't be subject to local laws, this narrows down where Equestria Girls takes place even further to Washington near the coast. Bet you never thought you'd hear tax laws be used to support a children's cartoon theory.
Pinkie fucks off to the buffet where as she's about to get some cake from the chef but Rainbow Dash just straight up attacks them. Fluttershy goes to an indoor petting zoo and oh my god, look how cute Lily Pad looks with the animals, filled with joy!
Rainbow Dash then appears and scares all the animals away. After this, Rainbow Dash finds Applejack who's about to vomit due to seasickness but Rainbow Dash doesn't realize this and schizes the fuck out thinking evil magic's affecting her. Rainbow Dash then runs off to schiz out at the pool area where we get a Derpy sighting and a Bulk image I just love.
She asks people if they've seen any bad magic so they point her to the auditorium where she just finds Trixie being Trixie. So you remember back in Legend of Everfree where I noticed how Rainbow Dash walks and stands very femininely for her character? Well she does so in this special too.
Why does this woman walk and stand like a woman? It makes no sense!
Rarity's in the consoom cave shopping and buys a bunch of shit for only $9.99. Dear god, what the fuck has happened to the economy since this came out!? She gets a penny back in change but the stupid bitch drops it and some Applejack-looking dude picks it up instead, bites it, and determines it's a copper penny from this. I actually wonder if there's a difference in taste between copper and zinc pennies. Plus, if you want to learn why you should hoard USD pennies and nickels and how to distinguish between copper pennies which are worth more in metal weight than face value and zinc pennies, go read Copper Penny And Nickel Hoarding. We find out his name is Ragamuffin and he talks with some sort of Britoid accent. Rarity then spergs out about his pronunciation of her name. Fucking Christ, cunt, people speak with different phonetics; get over it.
We learn the girls are to perform their music on the ship and Applejack had an emotional breakdown.
Twi tries cheering everyone up since the cruise was her idea but this fails. Rainbow Dash runs in manically explaining some idea she has for their show that night. Sunset then realizes there's something wrong with Rainbow Dash so she tries to counsel her and tell her to stop fucking everything up. Rarity and Ragamuffin show up and the others notice his resemblance to Applejack. We then see Rarity has developed a crush on him. This is proof if Rarity were gay or is bisexual, she'd like Applejack. RariJack fans, please come in for your fine dining experience.
Also, all the official Hasbro uploads of this special have a very bad error where as Ragamuffin is walking away, instead of showing him walk away, a shot from a later scene is played. The audio is still correct. They also somehow added this error after initial airings because ripped versions don't have this error.
That night, their show begins but it sucks so much, the passengers decide to cut the ship's power and engines. Rainbow Dash schizes out some more. Twi goes to try to fix the boat's engines and like the uppity, obnoxious cunt she is, tells the actual engineers they're stupid and she's so smart because she read some manual on the internet. Jesus Christ, Twi really has gone from second-best character in Equestria Girls to annoying oh-so-smart Redditor girl.
Using the cut power to her advantage, Pinkie sneaks into the buffet to steal some cake but the chef is there and tries to hunt her down in a scene I noticed feels oddly similar to the part in The Last of Us where Ellie has to kill the cannibal guy in the restaurant. Later, Rainbow Dash has a depressive episode and contemplates jumping overboard to drown herself. However she begins hallucinating shit and believes her delusions to be true again so she goes to get the others, ruining the shit they were all doing. Before getting Rarity, we learn how Ragamuffin's father worked in a coal mine but he didn't want to work in one himself as a child. Okay, he's the one exception.
When Rainbow Dash shows them what she saw, they really begin worrying for her mental health as there's nothing there. Pinkie gets the idea to share her schizo meds with her but Sunset and Twi are smart enough to know that's a horrible idea. Twi, annoyed is questioning Rainbow Dash and at a point Rainbow Dash mentions taking no prisoners to which Twi asks where they'd be taken. Twi, that means killing people, not taking them prisoner. Rainbow Dash has now developed homicidal ideation. Because Twi is socially deficient and is nowhere near as good in these kinds of situations as Sunset, she ends up pissing Rainbow Dash off to the point she runs away.
Later, Sunset and Twi go to find Rainbow Dash to make sure she's not getting herself hurt only to find one of the lifeboats missing and deduce she's taken it and is having some sort of episode causing her to run off into the middle of the sea during a storm. Sunset and Twi set off to find her while the others assist in the ship's shit.
They arrive at an island where they discover Rainbow Dash's lifeboat and have to journey further in. They find Rainbow Dash in a quicksand pool where she initially tried to kill herself before the self-preservation instinct kicked in and is now screaming for help.
It then turns out Rainbow Dash's delusions are actually real and they're all attacked by a monster and have to go into the quicksand which turns out to be a portal to Equestria to escape it. In Equestria, we see Twi and EG Rainbow Dash have cutie marks. Unless somehow there's something in humans that can translate into cutie marks, this doesn't really make sense since they'd have to earn them and for the cutie marks to be the same as their pony counterparts.
The three decide to use their being in Equestria as a vacation and assume everything's fine back on the cruise. Back on the cruise, everything has gone to shit and the others discover Rainbow Dash's hallucinations are real and shit fucks up even more. The three make it to Ponyville where they have to sneak their way to Twilight's castle and it's here, we see Screwloose out walking in the open. Despite being free, she doesn't look too good. Back when this came out I even made a meme of this as you can see below. As a bonus, here's another meme I made of my OC where I even misspelled "forgotten".
Derpy.
They successfully arrive at the castle undetected where Twilight is making Spike do heavy lifting physical labor even though her magic is strong enough to do the task herself. They decide to stay for awhile. Meanwhile the cruise ship hits a rock and begins sinking. A long while later in Equestria, Twilight explains the whole thing with the Storm King and EG Rainbow Dash recognizes the Storm King's symbol from her hallucinations. They take the Staff of Bastards back to the EG world to stop the storm and whatever but notice how they enter the EG world back on the island even though we saw the portal from the island seemingly close up after they came through it in Equestria. Then they save the cruise passengers and whatever.
Herobrine sighting #80
When it's all over, Ragamuffin turns out to not be a Britoid and Rainbow Dash is sent to a psychiatrist and diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Thoroughly entertaining with all the goofy and even some hilarious stuff so it's worthy of 5 EV. No vibe so 3 VB. I feel like there should be some development in this but ultimately there technically is none so it gets 3 DV.
MLP Commentaries IndexWritten 2025-5-9 Published 2025-6-1